Also: The Cratchits were Welfare Scum.

Incoming! That whistling sound you may hear in the background is James Woods, Kelsey Grammar, and assorted other C-listers in search of a paycheck veritably screaming down the Murphometer after I just witnessed the trailer for An American Carol, a.k.a. David Zucker’s new spoof for — alas, not of — right-wing idiots. When Bill O’Reilly’s in your ad and he’s not the butt of the punchline, you know there’s trouble. (And, what, was Stephen Baldwin busy? Somehow, I doubt it.) Unfortunately, however funny Airplane was, Zucker seems to have lost his mind some time ago.

Affleck’s Revenge.

One of the few shows I caught regularly last fall, Celebrity Poker Showdown returns for a second season on May 27, with Kid in the Hall Dave Foley replacing Kevin Pollack. This time around, the players will include Sean Astin, Jennie Garth, James Woods, Matthew Perry, Angie Dickinson, and Dave Navarro. Samwise versus Big Bad Mama…I’m so there.