Hope you like leftovers.

Dallas (with Jennifer Lopez, Luke Wilson, John Travolta, and Shirley MacLaine)? Welcome Back Kotter (with Ice Cube)? The Dirty Dozen (now with “a personal element to it,” ’cause the original wasn’t a classic or anything)? Yep, it’s looking bleak in Hollywood these days on the new idea front.

Renovating Southfork.

You suck! Dallas rules!” It’s Bill Haverchuck‘s dream come true — Apparently, marketing geniuses are putting together a feature film version of Dallas, with Catherine Zeta-Jones as Pamela Ewing and — possibly — Brad Pitt as Bobby. Hmmm. If this goes ahead, I’ll bet dollars-to-donuts Billy Bob Thornton ends up being J.R.