Slaughter, Infidelity, Donuts.

In the movie bin, Homer J. Simpson gets stuck between a rock (Iraq?) and a hard place in the trailer for The (long-awaited) Simpsons Movie; Edward Norton (brandishing a surprisingly lousy accent) and Naomi Watts struggle with a loveless marriage by way of W. Somerset Maugham in the trailer for The Painted Veil (also with Liev Schrieber, Toby Jones, and the always lovely Dame Diana Rigg); and Wilbur the pig picks up a “spin” doctor with a way with words in a new Internet-only teaser for Charlotte’s Web (Between Julia and Buscemi, it seems like the voice-work is going to be really distracting.)

Charlotte Sometimes.

The new trailer for Charlotte’s Web, which I’m pretty sure is the first honest-to-goodness book I ever read, is now online…although, back then, Charlotte sounded nothing like Julia Roberts. (Official Site.)

Some Pig.

Paramount and Nickelodeon announce the voice talent for the forthcoming live-action Charlotte’s Web (a la Babe), and it’s an all-star cast, including Julia Roberts (Charlotte), Steve Buscemi (Templeton/Rat), John Cleese (Samuel/Sheep), Oprah Winfrey and Cedric the Entertainer (Gussy and Golly/Geese), Reba McEntire and Kathy Bates (Betsy and Bitsy/Cows), and Thomas Haden Church and Andre 3000 (Brooks and Benjamin/Crows). No word on who’s Wilbur yet, although the ubiquitous Dakota Fanning is Fern. I’ve always had a soft spot for Charlotte’s Web — it’s the first book I ever remember reading — so I expect I’ll probably check this out (even if Julia is the spider.)