After a long and tortuous road, including some last-minute GOP balking, Dubya signed the intelligence bill into law today. “The new law, which grew out of last summer’s report of the national commission that investigated the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, brings together the 15 separate intelligence agencies into a single command structure, legislates creation of a National Counter Terrorism Center, increases border security and establishes a civil liberties board to serve as a check on excesses in the war on terrorism.” Sounds good…now let’s get that bastard Buttle.
Tag: Homeland Security
Orange Alert.
Break out the duct tape…Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge joins the ranks of the Dubya-departed, “noting that he feels exhausted from the grueling hours required for the work and that he wants to make more money now that he has two children reaching college age.” Current names being bandied about as replacements include “former Virginia governor James S. Gilmore III, Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and Frances Fragos Townsend, current White House homeland security adviser.” Given the recent trend to promote Dubya loyalists throughout the cabinet, I’m surprised they haven’t found a new gig for Marc Racicot yet…he’s been the flunky’s flunky.
Got Myself an Uzi and my Brother a 9.
The assault weapons ban expires tonight at midnight and, while it may not have been very effective anyway, somehow I get the sense that our homeland would be more secure with it in place. Shame on Dubya, and that goes double for the GOP Congress.
Will you protect this House?
While the Senate (led by Senators Lieberman, McCain, Bayh, and Specter) has crafted a bipartisan security bill that encompasses all of the 9/11 commission’s suggestions, Tom DeLay and the House GOP are, as per usual, off the reservation. “DeLay said the House will rely largely on its own expertise and insights, adding that ‘we have plenty of experts on our committees.’” Well, what was the point of having a commission, then? And, I don’t care how big the roaches are in Sugarland, Texas, Tom. Your “expertise” as a bug exterminator just isn’t going to cut it.
Get your Gun On.
It seems that, for the Republicans, nothing says Homeland Security quite like easy access to assault weapons. “I think the will of the American people is consistent with letting it expire, so it will expire,” notes GOP Senate Majority Leader Bill “Catkiller” Frist of the decade-old assault weapons ban set to end on Monday, despite the fact that 68% of Americans (and 74% of voters, in a separate poll) want to see it renewed. On the House side, perennial GOP freakshow Tom DeLay “dismissed the ban as ‘a feel-good piece of legislation’ and said flatly that it would expire Monday, even if Mr. Bush made an effort to renew it. ‘If the president asked me, it would still be no,’ Mr. DeLay said.” Don’t worry. I doubt he’ll ask ya, although the electorate just might come November.
Cheney goes Nuclear.
“[I]f we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again, that we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States“…Um, say WHAT?!? You heard it straight from the mouth of the Vice-President, folks: vote for John Kerry and the terrorists will kill you. Cheney’s remarks are so low and un-American that I’m almost at a loss for comment. (Plus, since we’ve broached the subject, it’s also flat-out wrong…it’s Dubya’s missteps and budget cuts on Homeland Security, to say nothing of his idiotic and isolating diplomacy, that are more likely to add up to fatal embarrassment for our nation.) And this coming from a sitting veep…I mean, you must be joking. We’re through the looking-glass now, people.
Terror in a Can.
So apparently the information that led to Sunday’s terror alert dates to before 9/11. Hmmm. I hereby retract my fearmongering retraction.
The Bad Color.
Lock the doors and watch the neighbors…it’s terror time again. That being said, given the specifics doled out this time, I’ll waive the usual charge of fear-mongering. This targeted approach seems a much better way to increase public vigilance without needlessly causing panic, as has been the case with previous Orange alerts.
The Final Straw.
Postponing Election Day?!? You must be joking. Are “the terrorists” going to infiltrate every middle school gymnasium and public library in the country, counting extra votes for Kerry and offsetting Dubya’s Diebold advantage? We held elections in this nation in 1864, 1944, 1968…surely we can handle 2004.
Whatsmore, what’s all this talk of terrorists determining the election anyway? When are the Bushies going to realize that Osama Bin Laden and his ilk probably prefer Dubya in office? No other man could have so brazenly squandered the enormous international reservoir of post-9/11 goodwill, so thoroughly fractured the natural alliance of the West against terrorism, or so decisively set the moderate Muslim world against the United States. For Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush is a godsend. For three and a half long years, he’s been a divider, not a uniter.
Postponing Election Day…my Lord, what tripe. Yes, I know Homeland Security is covering its bases by arguing that they’re just thinking out loud. Well, it’s still a terrible idea, and a particularly tone-deaf one coming from an administration who came into office so ignominiously with Bush v. Gore. Forget Warren Harding or even Richard Nixon — this presidency has earned its place since that 5-4 decision as the most corrupt in our nation’s history. They have to be shown the door on Election Day, and not a day later.
Two-Minutes Fear.
Aigh! Attack, attack! No, we don’t know when. No, we don’t know where. No, we’re not raising the threat level. No, we’re not sorry we let Osama slip away so we could dink around Iraq. Just be afraid, and, remember, the terrorists want to “disrupt the democratic process” and make you vote Kerry-Edwards. You have been warned. Good day.