An outside panel of experts entreat NASA to save the Hubble, “arguably the most important telescope in history.” Given it’s been both a rare PR victory for the administration and an amazing source of scientific data, one would think the Hubble would remain a top priority, even despite all the new talk of Mars.
Invisible Touch.
Marvel’s Fantastic Four has been rounded out with the signing of Jessica “Dark Angel” Alba as Invisible Girl. Well, she’s not what I pictured at all, but I guess she’s no worse than Ray Liotta as Doctor Doom. I’ll reserve final judgment until I’ve seen some footage, but I fear this flick will be more Hulk than X2/Spidey.
Siege Perilous.
Well, in some other movie Clive Owen would’ve made a really great King Arthur. And he’s definitely very watchable here as the lead in the Jerry Bruckheimer-produced King Arthur. But this project basically feels like a Gladiator meets Tears of the Sun retread, and, aside from the characters’ names, it has very little to do with the Arthurian legend. I’d say the film’s probably better than you’ve heard, but still somewhat disappointing. Workmanlike, but ultimately rather drab.
I must say, I really can’t get my mind around the current trend in epic movie-making. After the wild success of PJ’s LotR, it should be a no-brainer: You can’t tell The Iliad without the gods, and you can’t do justice to the story of King Arthur without sorcerers, enchantments, love triangles or the Holy Grail. Demystify the legend and you end up with…well, I guess you end up with what you have here, which is a lot of grunting and flying arrows and bad hair days along Hadrian’s Wall. Admittedly, I liked the realistic take of a film like The Alamo, but it just seems unnecessary here (particularly when the “realism” portrayed involves 5th century Abu Ghreibs and an Arthur who’s a good 1000 years ahead of the times on the political philosophy front.)
As I said, Clive Owen is pretty solid, though, and he helps his case here as the next James Bond. Keira Knightley is passable given the material, although every time I see her now I can’t help but think of Winona Ryder and a quote by Bilbo Baggins (“I feel thin — sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”) Ioan Gruffudd’s performance as Lancelot was also derailed by my terminal fanboyisms, as I spent most of his screentime trying — and failing — to remove his facial hair and picture him as Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic. And the rest of the knights? Well, they’re a dirty, ragged bunch, but Ray Winstone (of Sexy Beast) and Ray Stevenson stand out as Sir Bors and Sir Deadduck respectively. Mention must also be made of a Tom Waits-voiced Stellan Skarsgard as the Saxon Big Bad, who gets off a quality zinger about Anglo-Saxon interbreeding, and who is the only person who seems to be having any fun in this project.
All in all, I suppose this movie is solid enough if you’re looking for a decently well-done entry in the long line of period war movies we’ve had of late. But, if your thoughts on King Arthur run towards Camelot, the Lady in the Lake, Morgan le Fey, or even the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, you might want to wait for the next iteration of the story (or just go rent Excalibur.)
Diesel Fuel.
The Lakers implosion becomes the Heat’s opportunity, as Shaq gets set to move to Miami, in exchange for Caron Butler, Lamar Odom, and Brian Grant. That’s a great pickup (and a gimme) for Pat Riley’s club. The Lakers should have had the sense to hold out for Dwyane Wade.
Scorn of the Sox.
“Dear Roger Clemens: Let me offer my hearty congratulations on starting the All-Star Game. Wow, that is really terrific. I’d like to note, however, that I hate you. Also: You are fat. They say you’ve got this hard-core training regimen, with calisthenics and whatnot. I’m not seeing it. You’re wicked fat.” Slate‘s Seth Stevenson exercises (and exorcises) his contempt for the Rocket.
Have soap, need box.
Ticked by the choice slots allotted to Schwarzenegger, McCain, Giuliani, and other GOP moderates, the social conservatives angle for more convention time. By all means, please give it to them.
Tommany Hall.
Speaking of the conservative fringe, investigations into Enron have produced more evidence of corporate fundraising shadiness by the DeLay machine in Texas. This guy has got to go, already.
The Rule of Four.
Jim Broadbent joins The Chronicles of Narnia as Professor Kirke, and the four Pevensie children have been revealed.
The Final Straw.
Postponing Election Day?!? You must be joking. Are “the terrorists” going to infiltrate every middle school gymnasium and public library in the country, counting extra votes for Kerry and offsetting Dubya’s Diebold advantage? We held elections in this nation in 1864, 1944, 1968…surely we can handle 2004.
Whatsmore, what’s all this talk of terrorists determining the election anyway? When are the Bushies going to realize that Osama Bin Laden and his ilk probably prefer Dubya in office? No other man could have so brazenly squandered the enormous international reservoir of post-9/11 goodwill, so thoroughly fractured the natural alliance of the West against terrorism, or so decisively set the moderate Muslim world against the United States. For Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush is a godsend. For three and a half long years, he’s been a divider, not a uniter.
Postponing Election Day…my Lord, what tripe. Yes, I know Homeland Security is covering its bases by arguing that they’re just thinking out loud. Well, it’s still a terrible idea, and a particularly tone-deaf one coming from an administration who came into office so ignominiously with Bush v. Gore. Forget Warren Harding or even Richard Nixon — this presidency has earned its place since that 5-4 decision as the most corrupt in our nation’s history. They have to be shown the door on Election Day, and not a day later.
Cruise Control/Monsters on Ice.
A relatively empty trailer bin for a Friday morning so far, but we do have new looks at Michael Mann’s Collateral (this one gives away some plot details) and another take on Alien v. Predator (so does this one, but who cares, really?)