Fact-Checking Time.

As the dust settles from the GOP convention and Tom DeLay emerges from hiding, the truth starts coming back to light. Naturally, Dubya’s speech had serious problems with reality and the GOP severely distorted Kerry’s voting record. Obviously, Cheney and the Zellout were full of it. More surprisingly, however, Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently doesn’t know Austria from a hole in the ground.

Fortunate Son.

“‘The impression I had was that Georgie was raising a lot of hell in Houston, getting in trouble and embarrassing the family, and they just really wanted to get him out of Houston and under Jimmy’s wing,’” A widow of a Texas political operative remembers young Dubya. “Allison remembers encountering George W. Bush in the parking lot, urinating on a car, and hearing later about how he’d yelled obscenities at police officers that night. Bush left a house he’d rented in Montgomery trashed — the furniture broken, walls damaged and a chandelier destroyed, the Birmingham News reported in February. ‘He was just a rich kid who had no respect for other people’s possessions,’ Mary Smith, a member of the family who rented the house, told the newspaper, adding that a bill sent to Bush for repairs was never paid.” Yep, he’s presidential caliber.

Nickel and Dimed.

By way of a friend of mine in the program, the NY Post has discovered that apparently the GOP delegates are terrible tippers. “‘I wouldn’t call them bad tippers — I’d call them non-tippers!,’ said Thomas Potesak, a concierge at the Sheraton Manhattan…’It’s like they’re completely unfamiliar with the concept of tipping.’…Abraham Bolzman of the New York Hilton was also perplexed…’They’re always saying ‘God bless you.’ I guess I’m used to something more tangible.'”

Immigrant Song.

“If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government, then you are a Republican.” If you believe that rich people deserve tax breaks while the middle-class struggle harder and the poor send their kids to war, then you are a Republican. If you believe that cutting First Responder, Homeland Security, and Nunn-Lugar funding, lying bald-faced to our allies before the UN, letting Osama Bin Laden disappear into the caverns of Afghanistan, and contriving a casus belli to start a war in Iraq that has further alienated the moderate Muslim world is sound anti-terror strategy, then you are a Republican. If you believe an extramarital blow job is an impeachable offense, but dissembling to the American people about war is hunky-dory, then you are a Republican. If you believe God loves you, but He hates gays, liberals, and foreigners, then you are a Republican. If you’re an immigrant bodybuilder who made it to the top of his field through hard work, discipline, and the judicious application of enough steroids to kill a small horse, then you are a Republican. And if you’re a serial groper who was befuddled enough to think Nixon was a good idea in 1968 and who somehow earnestly believes that the GOP hasn’t moved much further right since the days of Tricky Dick, then you are Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The Man in the Mirror.

“If they question Kerry’s medals, they question everybody’s medals…We’ve got to get that garbage off the air as soon as we can.” So says John McCain of the Swift Smear in private, and to his credit, he at least hasn’t lied about his personal stance as brazenly as Bob “Democrat War” Dole. But, Senator McCain, if you’re so “nauseated” by the Swifties, one would think you could leverage your vaunted (and quickly deteriorating) prestige a bit more mightily. You had the ear of the political world last night, and you chose to spend your time unabashedly conflating 9/11 and Iraq to benefit Team Dubya, the author of those ads. For shame.

Gertie 2.0.

Uh-oh. Dakota Fanning is cast as the daughter of Tom Cruise (soon to reunite with Michael Mann for a Battle of Britain film) in the upcoming War of the Worlds remake. It’s nothing against Fanning — she actually seems like a relatively talented child actress. But the combination of cute kids and Spielberg have been a recipe for real schmaltzy trouble in the past.

Love Dubya, Love America.

I often run cold on Will Saletan, but I thought his summary of last night’s GOP speeches was dead on. On the subtext of John McCain’s remarks: “Forget the tax cuts. Forget the outsourcing. Forget the dividend tax breaks and the estate tax repeal. Pay no attention to the hand in your pocket. Close your eyes and think of America.” On Giuliani’s fib-filled suck-up to Dubya: “[T]he most important characteristic of a great speaker — contrary to the view of my colleagues who are raving about Giuliani’s speech — is being honest. Bush wasn’t right, and Giuliani isn’t honest, and no amount of bullheadedness can make up for that.”

Whatsmore, Saletan has kept his current streak going with today’s piece on the problem with Dubya’s so-called courage: “Pardon me for asking, but where exactly is the heroism in this story? Where, indeed, is the heroism in anything Bush has done before 9/11 or since?…This is Bush’s heroism? Showing up three days later, ‘remaining in the area,’ and enduring a hug?”