Finally, paparazzi are good for something…the reclusive Willy Wonka is spotted by a British tabloid. No word on whether he will yet submit to UN factory inspections, as The Onion reported a few years ago.
Category: The Onion
It’s Funny Because It’s True.
Bad form, I know, but this week’s Onion is particularly amusing. Take, for example, Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry. “‘It’s bad down here,’ Savannah (GA) General Hospital director Lloyd Sautner said. ‘We were still treating hurricane victims when all these politicians were hurt in the whirlwind of manufactured controversy.’” I also liked Bush Campaign More Thought Out Than Iraq War and Terry Gilliam’s Barbeque Plagued by Production Delays.
Stop me before I think again.
When times are this crazy, trust The Onion to come through in the clutch. “True patriots know that a price of freedom is periodic submission to the will of our leaders — especially when the liberties granted us by the Constitution are at stake. What good is our right to free speech if our soldiers are too demoralized to defend that right, thanks to disparaging remarks made about their commander-in-chief by the Dixie Chicks?” I should not be allowed to say the following things about America, especially during wartime.
Freedom of the…oh, never mind.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia accepts a free speech award…while muzzling the press. War or no, the blatant examples of conservative doublethink lately are getting outrageous. In loosely related news, the FBI track down a long-lost copy of the Bill of Rights. Think they could let Ashcroft take a gander before they return it to NC? The Attorney General seems to have gotten caught up somewhere around the Second Amendment.
Dog Confessional.
America’s finest news source.
The Beijing Evening News, China’s most popular newspaper, slips on the Onion.