THE WEBLOG OF KEVIN C. MURPHY: CONJURING POLITICAL, CINEMATIC, AND CULTURAL ARCANA SINCE 1999

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Before we discuss that colorful, mutant-ridden year of 1962, journey if you will, faithful readers, back to June of 2005: Fresh off the impressive Layer Cake, director Matthew Vaughn decides to beg out of the ultimately atrocious X3: The Last Stand in pre-production, due mainly to the highly-compressed production schedule. In his own words, "'What happened with X-Men 3 was I didn't have the time to make the movie that I wanted to make.'"

And so the studio decided to replace Vaughn with veteran hack Brett Ratner, who, true to form, subsequently delivered an egregious cash-grab of a movie. (To be fair, Ratner's hands were tied by a terrible, death-heavy script that never should've been greenlighted.) Thus was destroyed much of the goodwill Fox had built up with Bryan Singer's X-Men and X2: X-Men United, and the studio's reputation was cemented as the place where otherwise decent comic book properties are squeezed for an opening weekend box office haul and then left to die. (See also: Daredevil, Elektra, and Tim Story's two terrible Fantastic Four films.)

So when news broke in May of 2010 that director Matthew Vaughn would be returning to the X-franchise for X-Men: First Class, Fox's Mad Men-era reboot of Marvel's most famous mutants -- due out the following summer! -- the fanfolk out there had to wonder: Would the consistently solid Vaughn, now with Stardust and Kick-Ass under his belt, actually be able to churn out a high-quality X-film under even more ridiculous time constraints? The answer, happily, is yes. Jaunty and briskly paced throughout, this globe-trotting X-adventure has the comic book energy and sense of fun its predecessor lacked. And even with a bevy of C-lister mutants on the roster (more on them in a moment), X-Men: First Class could very well be the best X-film in the franchise. (It and X2 would have to slug that out in the Danger Room, I think.) If nothing else, it's the second surprisingly solid Marvel film this summer -- let's hope Cap can make it a trifecta.

Just as J.J. Abrams and co. made the best of the Star Wars prequels in Star Trek, one great decision Vaughn and his six-deep story and writing team make is to unabashedly borrow from other genre influences. Vaughn himself has described the movie as "X-Men meets Bond," and that he molded "a young Magneto on a young Sean Connery. He's the ultimate spy -- imagine Bond, but with superpowers." And it works, in part because Fassbender, like the young Connery, has charisma to spare. For the first half-hour or so, it's inordinately good fun watching the young mutant master of magnetism (and languages) channel Bond-by-way-of-Simon-Wiesenthal and scour the globe for ex-Nazis to get payback for his parents (not to mention, in a clever switcheroo, Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.)

But 007 isn't the only genre influence at work here. As it does in the comics, if you think about it, the earliest iteration of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters here also has a touch of the Hogwarts magic, especially when our first team of young mutants -- here, Mystique, Beast, Havoc, Banshee, a Pixieish Angel, and Darwin -- show each other their powers. And, of course, there's more than a bit of an Obi-Wan-Anakin-and-the-Emperor triangle going on with Professor X, the big M, and Kevin Bacon's impressive Big Bad, Sebastian Shaw, albeit with less whining and green screen-induced thousand yard stares.

Speaking of Bacon: You really can't say enough about the exceptional cast of X-Men: First Class. It would be very easy to imagine this film falling on its face if folks other than he, Fassbender, James McAvoy, and Jennifer Lawrence were carrying the acting load here. As it is, you don't get the sense from any of them that they feel like they're slumming it here. (Sadly, one does gets that sense from January Jones as Emma Frost, a.k.a. the White Queen. She's as wooden as Betty Draper and is...not good. The originally cast Alice Eve, or Rosamund Pike, would have been better.)

The only real qualm I have with X-Men: First Class, and it's ultimately a minor one, is that this isn't actually X-Men's First Class -- likely because Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Iceman made it into the first few films -- and the roster they chose here feels rather budget. (Havok and Banshee, for example, have pretty much exactly the same power when you get right down to it, and other than Banshee's "sonar" moment, everything they do here could've been done by Scott Summers.) Still, the beauty of the X-franchise is that the roster is always getting rejiggered in some way or another -- even death is merely a setback -- so they can always bring more intriguing heros on for X-Men: Second Class. Let's just hope Fox has learned to keep Vaughn, or another director of his caliber, in the director's (wheel)chair this time.

20th Century Marvels.

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On the Marvel front, recent weeks has seen an impressive Super Bowl spot for Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger and a decent trailer for Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: Mad Men...err, X-Men: First Class. (Screenshots are here and here respectively -- Note Hugo Weaving's Red Skull unmasked.)

In case you were wondering, that's skinny Steve Rogers (Chris Evans + CGI) above, and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) apparently enjoying some downtime below.

Also not to be forgotten, we have another official pic of Marc Webb's Amazing Spiderman. Looks good in a dark room, at least.

Magneto, how does he work?

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"The best way of describing it is X-Men meets Bond, with a little bit of Thirteen Days thrown in for good measure. It's set in the '60s, and I basically molded a young Magneto on a young Sean Connery. He's the ultimate spy -- imagine Bond, but with superpowers."

Also backlogged for a week or so: After a not-so-great initial photo leak, Matthew Vaughn of Layer Cake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass talks about what to expect from his X-Men: First Class. "It's got a lot of teenage angst. The Twilight girls will like it." Hrm.

"'We'll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we'll be introducing some new ones,' Nolan said cryptically." Lots of big doings on the fanboy front recently: First up, the next Batman movie has a (lousy) title: The Dark Knight Rises, and Chris Nolan has announced the Riddler will not be the villain. (He earlier wrote off Mr. Freeze.) So whomever Tom Hardy turns out to be, it's not Edward Nigma. (My current guess is he's Killer Croc, with a yet-to-be-cast Catwoman as the main villain.)

Riddles may not feature in Gotham, but they will soon be spun in deepest Wellington: In happy news, New Zealand will be returning as Middle Earth for the upcoming Hobbit films. "'Making the two movies here will not only safeguard work for thousands of New Zealanders, but will also allow us to follow the success of the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy in once again promoting New Zealand on the world stage,' [Prime Minister!] Key said."

Those are the two big upcoming guns. But, also on the docket, James Cameron officials signs up for two more Avatars for 2014 and 2015. Well...ok. I can think of other worlds I'd rather see him tackle than Pandora again.

And, with Black Swan opening very soon, Darren Aronofsky announces his next project (after, um, Wolverine 2), will be called Machine Man. "Machine Man, not to be confused with the Marvel Comics character, concerns a tech engineer who, tired of going through life average and unnoticed, replaces parts of his body with titanium upgrades of his own design. He then discovers that he isn't the only one with plans for his new body."

Emma Let You Finish...

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In the Jonah Hex review below, I mentioned the intriguing casting of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Professor X and Magneto respectively. Now, Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class circles 'round its White Queen in Alice Eve of She's Out of My League and Sex and the City 2. Haven't seen either of those, but she looks the part...although I still might've gone with Rosamund Pike myself.

"Vaughn's involvement had been on and off, with negotiations resuming yesterday thanks to the involvement of producer Bryan Singer. Another factor had been Fox's desire of wanting to have a finished film for next summer, making the search for a director who can deliver a quality film a priority."

Hmm...strange. Elsewhere in comic-to-film news, Layer Cake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass helmer Matthew Vaughn -- who memorably left X3 before it became a Ratner hack job -- is now back with the mutants for X-Men: First Class, i.e. the Professor X & Magneto backstory. I'd kinda soured on the X-franchise after the last two Fox ventures -- never even saw Wolverine -- but Vaughn instantly makes this interesting again.


"The idea basically sparked from the realisation that Mr Happy from the Mr Men, looks a lot like the Comedians badge from Watchmen... and a quick doodle of this lead to the question "Who Watches the Mr Men?" and assigning various Mr Men personalities to their Alan Moore counterparts..." By way of my sis and as you may have already seen in my twitter feed, various Marvel and DC superheroes done up as Mr. Men (a staple of my early years).

"'We believe that adding Marvel to Disney's unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation,' said Disney President and Chief Executive Robert A. Iger." Spidey, meet the Mouse: Disney buys Marvel for $4 billion.

And, in very related news, Fox announces another Fantastic Four reboot, with -- true to Fox form -- the hackmeisterly Akiva Goldsman at the helm. "Though Marvel Entertainment owns and finances properties like 'Iron Man' and 'Thor,' Fox controls 'Fantastic Four' in perpetuity -- as long as it continues making the films. Fox has the same arrangement on Marvel Comics properties 'X-Men,' 'Daredevil' and "Silver Surfer."

The Power of Snikt.

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"Standing 5 foot 3, weighing 300 pounds (thanks to that metal skeleton), he's a hairy-backed fashion victim from a country nobody takes seriously. But look around any high-school or college cafeteria during lunch hour at the armies of hairy-backed, height and weight disproportionate fashion victims and you'll quickly realize that these are his people. If you're a nerd, a loser, an outcast, or a misfit then there's only one all-purpose tough guy for you. Wolverine: He's just like us. Only Canadian."

Over in Slate and in honor of his new solo movie (which I'm still planning to skip -- I'm sure it'll be mildly entertaining on TNT in a few years), Grady Hendrix doffs his hat to the enduring popularity of Wolverine. If you say so, bub. When I wasn't crushing on Kitty Pryde -- I was always more of a Nightcrawler kid, so i'll take your word for it. At any rate, Hendrix's evisceration of the trademark Claremont style is pretty funny (although I'd disagree with him that Wolvie is Claremont's Malcolm X -- That would be Magneto.)

Stand clear of the closing doors, please: In the trailer bin of late, it's Tony's Scott's remake of The Taking of the Pelham 1-2-3 (and if you want a doo doo rhyme, then come see me), starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, John Turturro, James Gandolfini, and Greg from Flight of the Conchords (a.k.a. Frank Wood). The trailer here has got a good bit of ADD Tony Scott shakicam, and what looks to be the ending mano a mano -- so save yourself ten bucks and two hours and just watch this, if you're so inclined.

Along those lines, there was a great to-do yesterday over the leaked release of a workprint of Fox's X-Men Origins: Wolverine onto the tubes. So, if you want to catch that, it's flitting about the ether also. For my part, I don't think I care enough about this movie to even spend the requisite time downloading it, much less watching the durned thing. And that goes double after the botch job that was X3 and Fox mucking about with Watchmen a few months ago.

Sure, Fox Searchlight still distributes some quality films, but Fox itself of late has been where once-decent properties (FF, Die Hard, X-Files, Aliens, Predator) go to die. (Let's hope James Cameron is keeping the studio's greasy hands away from Avatar.) The hackmeister currently in charge of Fox, Tom Rothman, is once rumored to have quipped "F**k the fans. We already have their money anyway." Well actually, in this case, you don't.

Twelve for '09.

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On the occasion of the new year, EW previews some of the more-anticipated films of 2009, including Michael Mann's Public Enemies, Terminator: Salvation, Spike Jonze's' long-awaited Where the Wild Things Are, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Pixar's Up, Harold Ramis' Year One, The Taking of the Pelham 1-2-3 (again), Wolverine, and Watchmen.

Canadian Bacon.

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Times are tough, bub. In a clear sign that the economic downturn is affecting actors and celebrities as much as it is ordinary working people, Danny Huston and Liev Schreiber pay off their mortgages alongside Hugh Jackman in the new trailer for Gavin Hood's X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Ok, I kid, this doesn't look completely terrible. But some of the shots here -- particularly Jackman walking away from the explosion, hanging on to that chopper, or otherwise engaged in wire-fu -- definitely have that C-movie, Punisher: War Zone feel to them. And after the directorial switcheroo that brought about the lamentable X3: The Last Stand (which has an equally overburdened title, come to think of it -- what's with the colons?), I'm not all that inclined to look charitably on Fox's handling of this property anymore.

Fanboy-wise, I had mostly checked out of X-Men by the time they began revisiting Wolvie's origin every other year -- most of the stuff I do remember involved Kitty Pryde and feudal Japan -- so I can't really speak to what's going on in this clip in terms of comic continuity. That being said, I've always thought the cajun mutant cardslinger Gambit (here, Friday Night Lights' Taylor Kitsch, no pun intended) was a pretty goofy, throwaway character, n'est-ce-pas, mes amis? It is interesting to see (I think) Emma Frost pop up for a second, but, again, I'm much more familiar with the character in her old, Hellfire Club incarnation, before she pulled a Magneto somewhere along the line and got retconned into a X-member. (And I always thought, movie-wise, they should've cast Rosamund Pike for the White Queen, particularly in her ice-castle incarnation from the otherwise-completely-forgettable Die Another Day.)

Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson's previously-announced Tintin trilogy finds a writer in Doctor Who scribe Steven Moffat, of the Season 3 episode "Blink." Speaking of which, I've run hot and cold on BBC's Doctor Who update thus far, and have found showrunner Russell Davies' campy contributions to be mixed at best. But the second half of Season 3 has been exceptionally good Who. From "Blink" to the "Doctor goes Human" two-parter in pre-WWI England ("Human Nature/"The Family of Blood") to Derek Jacobi's turn as a lonely, befuddled scientist at the end of time in "Utopia" to the Master taking Tony Blair's job in "The Sound of Drums," I'd say this most-recent run can hold its own with the best of the Pertwee-Baker years. (I haven't seen "Last of the Time Lords," the Season 3 finale, yet, but I dig John Simm as the Master, and his evil companion is a real kick.)

Off-topic, but also on the television front, I've recently boarded the 5:23 Mad Men commuter train. It's a show I've been shying away from despite the good reviews, mainly because I feared it'd be 85% Rat Pack kitsch, i.e. its raison d'etre would be primarily to wallow in the unregenerate un-PCness of the early Sixties. But, while I'm still living a few episodes behind present-time, Mad Men makes for pretty solid television, even if, as with Miller's Crossing, it can be hard to watch without a glass of Jamesons and clinking ice in hand. Jon Hamm's Don Draper and John Slattery's Roger Sterling are particularly good, and, as someone noted on The House Next Door, Michael Gladis' Paul Kinsey is an eerie facsimile of the young Orson Welles. Plus, with all due respect to Officers Bunk and McNulty, it's a nice change of pace to watch smart, well-written characters in a TV drama that aren't cops, doctors, or mobsters.

Finally, I never much cottoned to it anyway, but after the Season 2 premiere, NBC's Heroes is getting kicked off the DVR. As I said last Spring, the blatant, unattributed ripping off of Watchmen and the X-Men's "Days of Future Past" in Season 1 was already hard to swallow. And, judging from the first week's installment, Kring & co. have decided to go back to the well, and have stolen the Comedian storyline straight out of Watchmen too. Given that their poorly-written, overstuffed show is usually as artless as their theft here, count me out.

Hellfire Clubs.

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"We can't win this militarily. It can only be won politically; it can only be won diplomatically and internationally...And you've got to listen to realism and what the public wants in the United States." Hopefully (but not likely) heeding John Murtha's words, Dubya's Iraq team retreats to Camp David for a strategy pow-wow. By the way, is it just me or does the "Interagency Team on Iraq" look suspiciously like the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants?


Eccch, Man.

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Mutie alert: Despite a few all-too-brief glimpses of a better (or at least more enjoyable) movie scattered therein, Brett Ratner's X3: The Last Stand is, as the fanboy nation suspected, a truly terrible film. In fact, with the possible exception of Ian McKellen hamming his way through Magneto, it's hard to think of anyone who brought above their C-game to this woeful project -- the directing is workmanlike, the effects look cheap, the shots have that Canadian backlot look to them, the score is hamhanded and distracting, the actors seem bored, and, worst of all, the script is flat-out embarrassing. What's more, if you harbor any affection for the comic (and particularly the Dark Phoenix arc ostensibly in play here, although it's been cross-wired with Joss Whedon's early run), you'll probably just leave irritated. In short, X3 is just the type of lowest-common-denominator, dumbed-down rush job that gives both summer movies and comic movies a bad name: Think Fantastic Four.

Compounding the aggravation, X3 seems like it might turn out reasonably decent for the first ten minutes or so. The film begins with two flashbacks: The more interesting one, although it steals much of its subtext from Raimi's Spiderman, involves a teenage Angel trying to clip his wings (the other features not-quite-ready-for-primetime de-aging CGI.) But then we're thrust into a really clunky Danger Room sequence, involving Sentinels that have all the terrible grandeur of an industrial-strength flashlight and a Corman-esque Colossus that screams straight-to-video. (Apparently, the Danger Room was built in Professor Xavier's Bargain Basement.) And, from there, it's just down, down down. As it turns out, Worthington industries (run by Michael Murphy of Tanner), with the acquiescence of the President (a man who's prone to looking into the camera and exclaiming "God...help...us." whenever needed) has, as per Whedon, created a "cure" for mutants, prompting outrage (Storm, Halle Berry), confusion (Beast, Kelsey Grammar), relief (Rogue, Anna Paquin), and righteous megalomania (Magneto, McKellen) among the varied facets of mutantkind. Meanwhile, as tensions mount and the timely metaphors fly thick, a bedraggled Cyclops (James Marsden) ventures out to Alkali Lake -- site of the climax of X2 -- where he, surprisingly, encounters Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) alive and well. Ok, maybe not well...

As you can see, X3 is playing with at least two quality story arcs out of the X-Men canon here, so you'd think it'd just have to ride them through. But, alas, screenwriters Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn -- who, make no bones about it, deserve the lion's share of blame for this drek -- go crazier than Chris Claremont in his post-Mutant Massacre burnout phase. (Speaking of mutant massacres, no less than [Major Movie-Ruining Spoiler] SIX major characters -- Cyclops, Xavier, Mystique, Magneto, Jean Grey, Rogue -- are eliminated by the end of this flick, which, even given the lax standards one must accord this universe, seems both ridiculously brutal and exceedingly lazy writing.) Virtually everybody here -- and particularly Xavier and Magneto -- has at least one speech, quip, or action that seems totally out-of-character. (For her part, Halle Berry plays Storm as if she were Halle Berry.) Neither the good guys nor bad guys' plans make one lick of sense. And, even despite all the X-Men on hand here, the film is overflowing with undifferentiated throwaway characters who all look and act like tattoo-riddled redshirts.

By the way, did I mention this film looks cheap? Oh, hell yes. Beast looks like a cross between a Metallica roadie and an alien on a Sci-Fi channel miniseries. Dark Phoenix -- who, by the way, not once exhibits a phoenix flame -- instead occasionally unleashes the terrifying cosmic force of scrubbly bubbles (a la the distintegrating vampires in Blade.) And the wire-fu...oof, it's just plain sad. So, is there anything good here? Well, very briefly, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones), Madrox (Eric Dane), Moira (Olivia Williams)...that's about it, and it all totals about ten minutes of screen time. In short, after the surprisingly delectable heights of Bryan Singer's X2 (Nightcrawler in the White House, Magneto's escape), this film is at best a tremendous disappointment, and at worst an insult to the fan base. If this and FF is how Avi Arad and Marvel have decided to treat their best (non-Spiderman) properties from now herein, make mine DC.

R&R, X&X&X.

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Today's trailers: Crockett & Tubbs reunite as Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx respectively in the full trailer for Michael Mann's film version of Miami Vice (This isn't much of an improvement on the teaser, frankly.) And, Dell offers seven minutes of clips from X3: The Last Stand, of which all but 90 seconds or so (thanks to Ian McKellen, who's clearly at home scenery-chewing his way through this badly-written drek) looks and sounds cringeworthy. From this, it seems the real problem with X3 may be less Ratner than the so-far really clunky script by Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn.

One Step Beyonder.

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"This is about camaraderie. It's about teamwork, but most of all it's about history. It's really about knowing your roots. I mean, kids today, they're reading about Wolverine's clone sister. What the hell is that about?" The Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society (By way of Do You Feel Loved?) For old-school comic fans, this is worth seeing for the Kang and Ultron costumes alone. (And, as Chris noted, the payoff is pretty funny too.)

The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters, with a handy graphic of who's a member of what "legion." The site also includes impressively detailed individual entries on each character -- not only the big guns like Methodist Superman, Episcopal Batman, Catholic Daredevil, and Buddhist Wolverine, but also everyone from Presbyterian Wolfsbane to the Mormon Power Pack. (Via Triptych Cryptic.)

Two for III.

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In today's movie bin, the full trailer for Brett Ratner's X3: The Last Stand shows up online. Hmm, I'm still not feeling it. To quote an AICN talkbacker, "Too much wire fu makes Homer go something something"...although I did kinda dig the scene with Juggernaut chasing Kitty Pryde. (Insert your own I'm the Juggernaut, b***ch joke if you'd like.) Also out today is the new Japanese M:I:III trailer, now with considerably less Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Stand don't Deliver.

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Six new one-sheets from X3: The Last Stand make the rounds (as do a few new stills) and, hoo boy -- Let's just say that they're not going to thwart the negative energy surrounding the project ever since Ratner came on board. Will this be the X-Men's Batman and Robin?

The Real McCoy? / Snikt.

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From Beauty and the Beast to a Beast of a different color, USA Today posts some stills from X3, including one of Kelsey Grammar in costume. I for one never imagined Beast as an irate leprechaun. Update: The brand-new teaser for Ratner's X3: The Last Stand (Yep, that appears to be the title) is now online. Keep an eye out for Juggernaut and Callisto (also both in the official photo gallery), Dark Phoenix hangin' with Magneto's crew (the Brotherhood), and what looks to be a fastball special.

X, XY.

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In other comic-film news, more X-Trouble on the horizon: In keeping with schlockmeister Brett Ratner's earlier-professed desire to sex up the X-Men, X3 adds two come-hither mutants: Mercedes Scelba-Shorte of America's Next Top Model as M/Monet St. Croix (from Generation X, which is after my time..they're the new New Mutants, I guess) and Ashley Hartman of The OC as Emma Frost, the White Queen (formerly a villain, until reconceived during the Grant Morrison run.) I guess this means we'll never get a full Hellfire Club X-film, which is particularly depressing after reading a fanboy dream-cast Deadwood's Ian McShane as Sebastian Shaw, the Black King, in the AICN talkback. That would've been ten kinds of perfect.

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