Recently in Marvel Category

Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe, Republicans. Listed #1 among the "50 Facts You Might Not Know about Barack Obama (courtesy of the Daily Telegraph): "He collects Spiderman and Conan the Barbarian comics."

Say whaaat? We already know for sure he's a Wire fan, but can we get some evidentiary back-up on this most recent claim? Are we talking Amazing, Peter Parker, Ultimate or what? Is President-Elect Obama a Ditko guy or a McFarlane guy? And, while the stark raving Right got lost in their "shadow muslim" idiocies, did they all miss the real story? Is our new president really a follower of Crom?

Woodward, Helen Thomas, Mike Isikoff: get on this stat. (And extra points if y'all can extract from our new prez the Riddle of Steel.)

With Matthew Vaughn now off the project, will Mjnolir fall into the hands of a Shakespearean? Apparently, Marvel is in discussions with Kenneth Branagh to direct Thor. That is...strange.

Of course, the Celts weren't the only Big Green Guys going on a rampage this past week. Like much of America, I dutifully caught Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk last Saturday, partly to fill the cinematic void until the more-anticipated summer movies return (Next stop, June 27: Wall-E and Wanted.) And, well, if you haven't seen it yet, this iteration of Hulk is about what you'd expect after Ang Lee's notable misfire: Namely, it's two hours of mostly mindless, Gamma and CGI-enhanced action sequences, strung together by generous heapings of Marvel continuity pr0n and a few bare threads of story, ripped mostly from the old TV show. Now, ever since Marvel hired the director of The Transporter to take another crack at Banner, this is exactly what the Hulk relaunch was billed to be. And since I too desired to see more "Hulk Smash!" from the Ang Lee version, I find it hard to be too down on these proceedings, and I'd say I enjoyed myself most of the time. Still, there's not much here here. If you're not a "Marvel guy" and just feel like taking in a super hero movie to whet the appetite for Hellboy 2 and The Dark Knight, I'd spend your money on Iron Man.

After a spiffy quick-edit reintroduction to the Hulk's origin (albeit without Rick Jones or a gamma-nuke), Leterrier's Incredible Hulk begins its first hour with a man on the run. It's been 157 days since Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) last went all Tyler Durden on us, and he's now hiding out in the sprawling slums of Rio de Janeiro, trying to stay off the grid, and otherwise working to keep a lockdown on his anger issues. But the US military -- represented by one take-no-guff, mustachioed general, Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt) and his deadly, if aging, new Special Ops assassin, Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) -- wants its potential Gamma-weapon back, and they will follow Banner to all ends of the earth to reacquire it, including the City of God. The first attempt at capture results in an "incident," prompting Banner to head back to the States to look for a cure (with the help of his old flame, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler)) and the government to consider growing its own enhanced supersoldier (with the aid of the WWII-era superserum that helped bring forth Captain America.) Alas, Specialist Blonsky just can't get enough, and before long he's toyed with the forces of nature enough to make of himself an Abomination. This is what the military experts refer to as "blowback"...

And commence the smashing. But fear not, faithful readers! From the aforementioned super-serum to the Tony Stark sighting (now featured in the commercials), we have enough nods to the expanded Marvel universe amidst the carnage to make even Comic-Book-Guy blush. We've got S.H.I.E.L.D., we've got Doc Samson, we've got The Leader. (Fans of the TV show, take note also of the Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno sightings.) On one hand, for a old-school comic reader like me (albeit not a huge fan of The Hulk), the fact that Marvel was taking their properties to the next level and introducing interfilm continuity was the most exciting thing about this project. On the other, all the fanboy nods throughout made this film feel somewhat inchoate and unformed on its own. (What's more, making it seem like the entire Marvel universe is in play carries its own pitfalls. When Banner is first seen discussing a cure online with a mysterious "Mr. Blue" out of New York City, I couldn't believe they'd managed to shoehorn Reed Richards into the film. When it turned out to be someone else, I found myself let down.)

Finally, I know that I was among those asking for more mayhem and destruction from Ang Lee's film, and that, as a character, the Hulk doesn't really have any other setting other than "destroy things." Still, by the time the Hulk and the Abomination engage in a climactic CGI-slugfest in my old 'hood, I was well on the way to checking out. Part of the problem, I think, is that the fight here plays almost exactly like the final Iron Monger sequence of Iron Man. Our hero must face a bigger, more powerful eeeevil version of himself, and occasionally ensure that his significant other isn't in the line of fire. If we're running that show again, to be honest, I'd rather watch it with Downey and the Dude than with these two pixellated monstrosities. All that being said, Leterrier, Norton & co. have done a passable job with this Hulk do-over, and -- as with Iron Man -- if they're getting the gang back together for another run, you could probably count me in for a matinee. Just maybe bulk the story up a little more next go, fellas. Too much smashing make Hulk brain tired.

As far as Marvel characters go, I can't say I ever really cottoned to Iron Man in my comic-reading youth. Sure, I was aware of his backstory and his rogue's gallery and all that, just by dint of sheer osmosis. But, other than when he was hanging around the Avengers or engaged in some huge crossover like Secret Wars, I don't think I ever picked up an issue. (Besides, with his industrial-techy side and all the paramilitary hangers-on, Iron Man seemed a hero designed for the GI Joe/Transformers kids, which was never really my scene. Inasmuch as I read Marvel, I usually preferred the angst-ridden, verbose types (Spidey, the X-Men, etc.))

All of this is a long way of saying that, given I have no real reservoir of nostalgia for its titular hero, Jon Favreau's crisp, surprisingly fun Iron Man seems that much more of an achievement. (Yes, I'd say the movie of the trailer holds up.) Sure, it suffers from having to tell yet another variation of the increasingly worn origin story, and thus slips below the top tier of recent comics films freed from that obligation (X2, Spiderman 2, The Incredibles.) And it's possible that Iron Man's sheer, unapologetic summer-blockbusterness may rankle a few viewers out there. (Note the not-very-subtle Burger King and Audi product placements.) But, as far as origin stories go, I'd say Iron Man can hold its helmet proudly alongside Batman Begins and the Donner Superman, thanks mainly to its superb cast (and inspired casting). And, as the kickoff to what's by all accounts an absurdly-stocked fanboy summer, Iron Man sets an auspiciously high bar for the many features to come.

In this updated incarnation, Iron Man begins as a sequel of sorts to Charlie Wilson's War: A troop convoy containing genius weapons manufacturer Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), nursing a scotch, is upended and undone on a dusty road in Afghanistan, and the ne'er-do-wells responsible are somehow armed with Stark Industries' finest. Cut to the title card, then to 36 hours earlier, when we meet Stark in his natural locale, Vegas. The son of a famous "ironmonger" and member of the Manhattan Project, Tony is basically a cross between Bill Gates and Howard Hughes, an acerbic, alcoholic, womanizing billionaire who always knows he's both the smartest and the richest guy in the room. But after being near-fatally wounded by shrapnel of his own making and captured by an Afghan warlord in the aforementioned raid (Stark was in-country, with his Air Force pal Rhodey (Terrence Howard), to pitch his newest lethal invention to the Brass), the playboy industrialist undergoes a not-unanticipated moral awakening, thanks in part to the saintly doctor (Shaun Toub) who saves his life with an electromagnet and a car battery. After building a suit of armor to break out of his Tora Bora captivity, Stark eventually returns stateside a changed man. He's got an arc reactor (don't ask) for a heart, he's getting out of the Merchant of Death trade for good, and he's thinking about taking that whole suit-of-iron idea to the next level. This (literal) change of heart, however, doesn't sit altogether well with Stark Industries' chairman-in-regency, Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), who -- despite his long relationship with Stark and his father -- may have his own ideas on how to proceed. Y'see, the weapons trade really tied the company together, so Stark's new digression will not stand, man.

The Dude's turn toward unctuous corporate villainy is one of the most potent secret weapons in Iron Man's arsenal. (Speaking of which, look for the explicit Lebowski name-drop.) A bald, bearded, leering, and obviously untrustworthy achiever, Bridges is great fun here as the eventual Big Bad -- he takes the film up a notch in every scene he's in. (There's long been rumors of a Tron 2.0 script involving Bridges' character having gone all Col. Kurtz somewhere up the datastream. I was thinking of that quite a bit during Iron Man.) But Bridges is not alone -- He's matched here every step of the way by Robert Downey, Jr., who's both a brilliantly unconventional superhero and a note-perfect Tony Stark (indeed, so much so that my brother tells me the recent Ultimate reboot has basically ret-conned Stark into Downey, Jr.) It's really hard to imagine any other actor in the role, or anyone else working as well. In fact, as with Batman Begins (give or take Katie Holmes), Iron Man is basically overstocked with talent at every position, from Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts (Stark's Moneypenny) to director Favreau as Happy Hogan (Stark's Foggy Nelson) to Clark Gregg (In Good Company) as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (although not that one -- he comes later.) I mean, when you've got Paul Bettany playing the voice of the computer (also a nod to Jarvis, Stark's Alfred), you know you're working with an embarrassment of riches.

If Iron Man has a problem, it's that, despite the prodigious talent on display, the movie is still somewhat hampered by the now-rote conventions of the origin-movie genre. I mean, I'm definitely of the fanboy temperament, but even I grew ever-so-slightly bored as Iron Man moved us through the usual paces (the awakening moment, the learning to use the new powers, the big reveal of the new suit, the final mano a mano, etc.) Still, Favreau and Downey leaven these moments as best they can, and -- as you might've guessed from Lebowski, above -- there're plenty of knowing winks throughout to keep the base happy. (Like I said, I'm pretty unfamiliar with Iron Man canon, but even I could figure out the nods to War Machine and the Mandarin.) In short, if you allow for the constraints of the genre, Iron Man is basically everything you'd want in a summer-y superhero blockbuster. And if they bring Downey et al back for the sequel, I'd definitely look forward to seeing Iron Man live again.

A fanboy programming note: If you're like me and the many others celebrating May Day (and the unofficial start of summer) tonight by reveling in the adventures of a dissolute American weapons manufacturer, don't forget to stay until after the credits...

Indiana is May 6. Indiana Jones is May 22. And, while WB's cadre of lawyers try to lock down various versions of the Dark Knight trailer, the new Kramerized Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer has also popped up online. I'm still of 2 minds about Indy 4. It could be a great throwback, it could be Attack of the Clones...but at least we only have to wait a few weeks to know the score. (In fact, Indy IV will close out four weeks of Fanboy May(hem), beginning tomorrow with Iron Man, followed by Speed Racer (5/9) and Prince Caspian (5/16).

Regarding much-anticipated projects further down the pike, Guillermo del Toro has been confirmed for The Hobbit, as has Ian McKellen. "'Yes, it’s true,' he said. 'I spoke to Guillermo in the very room that Peter Jackson offered me the part and he confirmed that I would be reprising the role. Obviously, it’s not a part that you turn down, I loved playing Gandalf.'" I'm obviously hugely excited for this project, but, still...that second filler movie attached to The Hobbit sounds like it could end up being a colossally bad idea.

Update: Also out today, Edward Norton wrestles with the angry, powerful alpha male inside him in the new trailer for Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk. Pfff...Tyler could still take him in a fight.

By way of Bitten Tongue, the Onion reports on the questionable decision by Paramount to make a movie based on the Iron Man trailer. It's funny because it's true...just remember how the film made from this preview turned out. (By the way, one scene they'll be shoehorning in that surprisingly solid Iron Man trailer: two minutes of Robert Downey Jr. getting cute with repulsorlifts. Um, ok.)

Hulk smash? Or does Hulk whine for two hours about his condition like last time? The rather underwhelming teaser for Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk is now online. (I had hopes for Norton, but it looks like, if anyone saves this film from summer mediocrity, it'll be Tim Roth.) Meanwhile, Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts, Deathly Hallows, has been split into two films, both directed by Order's David Yates and coming out in 2010 and 2011 respectively. If it's at all like the book, I guess there was just too much camping in the English countryside to fit in one film.

Robert Downey, Jr. suits up to face Obadiah Stane (a.k.a. the Bald Lebowski) in a spiffy all-new trailer for Jon Favreau's Iron Man. As with the two previous teasers, this looks surprisingly enjoyable, and may hopefully end up being Marvel's best product since Spiderman 2 and X2.

"'Harvey Dent is a tragic figure, and his story is the backbone of this film,' says Christopher Nolan...'The Joker, he sort of cuts through the film -- he's got no story arc, he's just a force of nature tearing through. Heath has given an amazing performance in the role, it's really extraordinary.'" With the next Democratic debate tonight at 9pm EST on MSNBC, one that will hopefully help defuse the tone of the past few days, now seems as good a time as any to check on the big box office rivalry of the summer, Batman v. Indy. (Well, and the forgotten man, Iron Man.) Last we checked, the Jones camp had suggested Bruce Wayne was too wealthy and privileged to understand ordinary people's concerns, while Batman surrogate Alfred told The Daily Planet's Clark Kent that Jones was too "pointy-headed and academic" to save anyone but upscale, overeducated professionals. (The missed rejoinder: The Batman camp is calling people pointy-headed?) Also, scurrilous rumors abound that Shia LaBoeuf was added to the Indy ticket merely to siphon the youth vote away from Batman's running mate, Dick Grayson...Yep, it's getting ugly, folks.

Anyway, as the quote above attests, Dark Knight director Chris Nolan recently checked in briefly with the L.A. Times about his two main villains: "Don't expect a lot laughs in this summer's return to the cave. 'It's a dark and complex story,' Nolan said, 'and the villains are dark and complex as well.'" Meanwhile, on the Spielberg side of things, we have this new still from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. (Note Ray Winstone lurking in the corner.)

"I can't keep doing this on my own...with these people." Making it online of late, a new domestic trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood, and a new international teaser for Jon Favreau's Iron Man. (The original clips are here and here.)

In Marvel news, the the teaser for Jon Favreau's take on Iron Man, with Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terence Howard, and Jeff Bridges, is now officially online. (Basically, it's a shortened version of the Comicon clip.) And has Matthew Vaughn found his Thor in Kevin McKidd of HBO's Rome and Trainspotting? Possibly maybe...if so, that's not half-bad.

Also from Comic-Con, director Jon Favreau reveals an extensive (You-tubed) trailer for Iron Man. I've never been a huge fan of the comic, to be honest, but this looks much better than I anticipated (and the cast -- Robert Downey, Jr., Terence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges -- is solid regardless.)

Also, some casting news that emerged on the eve of Comic-Con: First, the Watchmen cast is now official -- yes, it's finally happening -- and it is as rumored (along with Jeffrey Dean Morgan of Grey's Anatomy -- um, ok -- as The Comedian.) And, for the trekkies out there, it seems Matthew Quinto, a.k.a. Heroes Big Bad Sylar, has been cast as Starfleet Academy-era Spock for J.J. Abrams' Trek movie. (Also, strange to discover from this article that Abrams and Greg Grunberg, the mind-reading cop of Heroes, are childhood best friends.) Now, Quinto is a good physical match...a highly logical choice. But Sam Rockwell as James T. Kirk? That's genius. (Spock pic not official -- I found it here.) Update: Another casting note: Tim Blake Nelson joins Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk revamp as Dr. Samuel Sterns (a.k.a. The Leader), further swelling an already ridiculously tricked-out cast for a remake of a movie made less than five years ago. But, hey, gift horses and all that.

In Marvel comic-to-film news, William Hurt joins Louis Letterier's increasingly-stacked The Incredible Hulk as Gen. Thad "Thunderbolt" Ross. (The movie, it may be remembered, already stars Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, and Tim Roth.) And, also rumored to be in the works: a Silver Surfer film written by J. Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 (Will the character have any life in him after FF2 this weekend? I somehow doubt it) and a Thor film directed by Matthew Vaughan of Layer Cake and Stardust. (Ooh...can we get Beta Ray Bill?)

Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3, which I saw a week ago, before this recent illness descended in earnest, is -- as you likely already know -- a disappointment. Both undercooked and overstuffed, it oftens feels like a Sequel-By-Numbers, the creation of a boardroom of comic-book-ignorant Sony suits who sat down and watched the splendid Spiderman 2, brainstormed for two hours about what its main selling points were, and tried to add 20% more of each to Spidey 3. The end result, as Joseph II might say, has too many notes. There occasionally seems to be a decent, heartfelt Sam Raimi Spidey foray struggling to get out in here somewhere, but it's mostly wrapped up and powerless against the black suit of the corporate bottom line. I highly doubt this film will be the end of Spiderman, after that outrageous opening weekend take, but it does sadly suggest that it may be time for Raimi & co. to escape Spidey's web and take a break from the franchise.

In true comic-book fashion, Spiderman 3 begins basically where the last installment left off, with Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, both of whom seem bored) in love, his secret identity out to her. But, just as our friendly neighborhood webslinger begins to contemplate wedding bells in his future, a slew of supervillains rise up to disturb Spidey's domestic peace: The Green Goblin II (James Franco, putting in his best work of the series), who's also aware of Spidey's identity and is out to avenge his father's death; The Sandman (Thomas Haden Church, good with what he's given), who's out to find his daughter some quality affordable health care (good luck! Even fantasy has limits); and, most troubling, Venom (ultimately, Topher Grace, a likable actor that sadly doesn't work here), an oozing alien symbiote that first draws out Spiderman's dark side before congealing with his biggest rival at the Daily Bugle, photoshop expert Eddie Brock. Eventually, Spidey must find a way not only to beat back this rogues' gallery before doom befalls Ms. Watson high above Manhattan, but also come to terms with his darkest impulses, grapple with his deepfelt desire to cut a rug in a jazz club, and make Mary Jane feel important and special despite her withholding secrets from Peter most of the movie for unexplainable reasons. Can he pull it off, Spider-fans?

Maybe so, but the movie sure can't. If that litany of villains put you in mind of the later installments of the Batman franchise, Batman Forever or Batman and Robin, you're in the right ballpark. Basically, Raimi has too many balls in the air this time around (I haven't even mentioned Gwen Stacey, who's also in here for some reason), and the film just can't do justice to all of them. The Sandman in particular is given short shrift -- much time is devoted to giving him a backstory, but it gets dropped halfway through and never amounts to much. Meanwhile, other important plot points, such as how Spidey's enemies decide to gang up on him, are handled perfunctorily, apparently to make room for more wet blanket Mary Janeisms or badly-conceived comedy involving J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons). By the end of the film, when Harry Osborne's butler becomes Basil Exposition and Spiderman runs around without a mask in front of hundreds of cameras, the carelessness taken with this installment of the franchise becomes manifest. Raimi would likely have done better to leave Venom out of this episode and saved him for the next one (and, indeed, circumstantial evidence suggests that Venom was foisted on him by Sony -- Raimi wanted the Vulture.) As it is, though, Spiderman 3 is a swing-and-a-miss -- not as bad as X3, mind you, but definitely the worst outing thus far in the Spidey franchise. 'Nuff said.

I have to say, I continue to be completely thrown by what's emerging from Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk do-over. Now joining Ed Norton as Bruce Banner are Liv Tyler as the love interest (Betty Ross, a.k.a. Jennifer Connelly in the Ang Lee version) and, more interestingly, Tim Roth as the villain, Emil Blonsky a.k.a. Abomination. Norton v. Roth in a chew-and-smash-the-scenery contest? That should be great fun.

"'This is a decidedly adult superhero story,' says Favreau. (Fanboy FYI: Look for Stark's legendary drinking problem to pop up in possible sequels.)" Entertainment Weekly gets an exclusive first look at Iron Man's armor (as, in the red-and-gold suit, not the early prototype.) And, also in Marvel-to-film news, the new trailer for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer premieres online. Nope, still not feeling it.

Even after Tyler Durden, apparently, he still has rage issues: Edward Norton signs up to play Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk. Interesting -- I was expecting this movie, coming so soon after Ang Lee's botch, to be basically a straight-to-video do-over. But Norton's presence is, without a doubt, an X-factor, and now I'm actually intrigued by it.

Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? AICN obtains the first picture of Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man, in the original gray suit.

Trailers I've missed lately: John McLean goes up against Seth Bullock, with Kevin Smith and Mac Guy along for pained comic relief, in the new trailer for Live Free and Die Hard (which I caught with Grindhouse last Friday -- review forthcoming), and Topher Grace prays for vengeance in the impressive final trailer for Spiderman 3.

Venom (Topher Grace) comes to the fore in the final, very spoilerish, and Comcastic trailer for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 -- really, it seems like more of an executive summary than a preview. And, also up this weekend is the trailer for Matthew Vaughn's version of Neil Gaiman's Stardust, featuring, among others, Charlie Cox, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro, Ricky Gervais, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, Ian McKellen, and Peter O'Toole. Not a bad cast, that, and with Layer Cake's Vaughn at the helm, I'll go see it, even if this trailer is a mite underwhelming.

It's official: Maggie Gyllenhaal takes Katie Holmes' place in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. And, with Tobey Maguire appearing to beg off any future webslinger installments after Spidey 3, the door is now wide open for Maggie's brother Jake...

Steely blue eyes (with no love in them) scan the world no more: The powers-that-be at Marvel kill off Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, who apparently gets shot down on the courthouse steps. "'He hasn't been living in the modern world and the world does move," says Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada." But has the good Captain joined Bucky...or will the Bucky clause take effect?

As you may have seen during last night's Heroes (a show which has certainly hit a stride of some kind in the past few episodes -- it's gone from low-grade cheesy fun to being genuinely surprising at times, and it -- and Sundance's Slings and Arrows -- are now don't-erase Tivo staples), NBC.com is previewing seven minutes of Spiderman 3 until 9pm PST this evening, including Aunt May on memory lane, a knock-down, drag-out between Spidey and the Green Goblin II (Harry Osborne/James Franco), and our first official look at Venom.

Another wave of holiday trailers comes down the pike: Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez let their B-film freak flags fly (again) in the full trailer for Grindhouse, with Kurt Russell, Rose McGowan, and Freddy Rodriguez, among others; Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Chris Cooper, Jeremy Piven, and Richard Jenkins fight the war on terror in Saudi Arabia in this first look at Peter Berg's The Kingdom; and Shia la Boeuf and the US military run from metal toy-like things in the new preview for Michael Bay's Transformers (If you're interested, see also the pic of Optimus Prime here.) Word is the trailer for Fantastic Four 2 is also showing in theaters at the moment, although the only thing online right now is this rather meh image of the Silver Surfer...hopefully, they do a better job with Galactus. Update: The FF teaser is now up.

I'm talking about the man in the mirror...Two new posters for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 make it online, showcasing the Spidey-Venom duality.

The new Sandman-heavy trailer for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 is now online. To be honest, I think I preferred the teaser -- this one doesn't really grab me (and it seems to give away too many plot points.) Nevertheless, here it is.

Method casting? Robert Downey Jr. signs up as troubled alcoholic billionaire Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, for director Jon Favreau.

As most of y'all likely already know, this past weekend was Comic-Con 2006 in San Diego, which means an exceedingly large amount of news in the fanboy department. To wit:

In other comic-to-film news, Transporter director Louis Leterrier has been given the reins of The Incredible Hulk, which is apparently a re-do of Ang Lee's ill-conceived version of a few years ago. A solid choice, but given Marvel's recent non-Spidey track record (X3, FF, Blade 3, etc.), I can't say I'm very hopeful.

Coming Soon get their mitts on the new Spiderman 3 poster, which, it being lenticular, should look even better at your local multiplex.

Elsewhere, Michael Bay's big-budget version of The Transformers gets a teaser (hopefully the robots work better than the website), and Spiderman 3 gets spoiled rotten over at Dark Horizons -- Seriously, don't go if you don't want to know.

Also in the trailer bin, Venom gets his curtain call in the impressive and much-awaited new teaser for Spiderman 3, appearing in front of Superman Returns tomorrow. (A better Quicktime version is due later today) Update: Here it is!

AICN posts some pics from the big licensing show in NYC, which includes some impressive looking bears from The Golden Compass, as well as posters for Spiderman 3, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (apparently, the '70's hair is out), Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda, and (gulp) Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer.

"We can't win this militarily. It can only be won politically; it can only be won diplomatically and internationally...And you've got to listen to realism and what the public wants in the United States." Hopefully (but not likely) heeding John Murtha's words, Dubya's Iraq team retreats to Camp David for a strategy pow-wow. By the way, is it just me or does the "Interagency Team on Iraq" look suspiciously like the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants?

Mutie alert: Despite a few all-too-brief glimpses of a better (or at least more enjoyable) movie scattered therein, Brett Ratner's X3: The Last Stand is, as the fanboy nation suspected, a truly terrible film. In fact, with the possible exception of Ian McKellen hamming his way through Magneto, it's hard to think of anyone who brought above their C-game to this woeful project -- the directing is workmanlike, the effects look cheap, the shots have that Canadian backlot look to them, the score is hamhanded and distracting, the actors seem bored, and, worst of all, the script is flat-out embarrassing. What's more, if you harbor any affection for the comic (and particularly the Dark Phoenix arc ostensibly in play here, although it's been cross-wired with Joss Whedon's early run), you'll probably just leave irritated. In short, X3 is just the type of lowest-common-denominator, dumbed-down rush job that gives both summer movies and comic movies a bad name: Think Fantastic Four.

Compounding the aggravation, X3 seems like it might turn out reasonably decent for the first ten minutes or so. The film begins with two flashbacks: The more interesting one, although it steals much of its subtext from Raimi's Spiderman, involves a teenage Angel trying to clip his wings (the other features not-quite-ready-for-primetime de-aging CGI.) But then we're thrust into a really clunky Danger Room sequence, involving Sentinels that have all the terrible grandeur of an industrial-strength flashlight and a Corman-esque Colossus that screams straight-to-video. (Apparently, the Danger Room was built in Professor Xavier's Bargain Basement.) And, from there, it's just down, down down. As it turns out, Worthington industries (run by Michael Murphy of Tanner), with the acquiescence of the President (a man who's prone to looking into the camera and exclaiming "God...help...us." whenever needed) has, as per Whedon, created a "cure" for mutants, prompting outrage (Storm, Halle Berry), confusion (Beast, Kelsey Grammar), relief (Rogue, Anna Paquin), and righteous megalomania (Magneto, McKellen) among the varied facets of mutantkind. Meanwhile, as tensions mount and the timely metaphors fly thick, a bedraggled Cyclops (James Marsden) ventures out to Alkali Lake -- site of the climax of X2 -- where he, surprisingly, encounters Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) alive and well. Ok, maybe not well...

As you can see, X3 is playing with at least two quality story arcs out of the X-Men canon here, so you'd think it'd just have to ride them through. But, alas, screenwriters Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn -- who, make no bones about it, deserve the lion's share of blame for this drek -- go crazier than Chris Claremont in his post-Mutant Massacre burnout phase. (Speaking of mutant massacres, no less than [Major Movie-Ruining Spoiler] SIX major characters -- Cyclops, Xavier, Mystique, Magneto, Jean Grey, Rogue -- are eliminated by the end of this flick, which, even given the lax standards one must accord this universe, seems both ridiculously brutal and exceedingly lazy writing.) Virtually everybody here -- and particularly Xavier and Magneto -- has at least one speech, quip, or action that seems totally out-of-character. (For her part, Halle Berry plays Storm as if she were Halle Berry.) Neither the good guys nor bad guys' plans make one lick of sense. And, even despite all the X-Men on hand here, the film is overflowing with undifferentiated throwaway characters who all look and act like tattoo-riddled redshirts.

By the way, did I mention this film looks cheap? Oh, hell yes. Beast looks like a cross between a Metallica roadie and an alien on a Sci-Fi channel miniseries. Dark Phoenix -- who, by the way, not once exhibits a phoenix flame -- instead occasionally unleashes the terrifying cosmic force of scrubbly bubbles (a la the distintegrating vampires in Blade.) And the wire-fu...oof, it's just plain sad. So, is there anything good here? Well, very briefly, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones), Madrox (Eric Dane), Moira (Olivia Williams)...that's about it, and it all totals about ten minutes of screen time. In short, after the surprisingly delectable heights of Bryan Singer's X2 (Nightcrawler in the White House, Magneto's escape), this film is at best a tremendous disappointment, and at worst an insult to the fan base. If this and FF is how Avi Arad and Marvel have decided to treat their best (non-Spiderman) properties from now herein, make mine DC.

Son, you've got a flamin' panty on your head...The new teaser for Ghost Rider, starring Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze (along with Sam Elliot, Eva Mendes, Donal Logue, and Wes Bentley), is now online. Never been a fan of the comic -- it's always screamed Blue Oyster Cult to me -- so I highly doubt I was going to catch this anyway. Still, this trailer didn't help matters.

Today's trailers: Crockett & Tubbs reunite as Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx respectively in the full trailer for Michael Mann's film version of Miami Vice (This isn't much of an improvement on the teaser, frankly.) And, Dell offers seven minutes of clips from X3: The Last Stand, of which all but 90 seconds or so (thanks to Ian McKellen, who's clearly at home scenery-chewing his way through this badly-written drek) looks and sounds cringeworthy. From this, it seems the real problem with X3 may be less Ratner than the so-far really clunky script by Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn.

According to several reports, the Silver Surfer will show up in Fantastic Four 2. That, of course, probably means Galactus...which would be cause for fanboy rejoicing, were it not for how badly Victor Von Doom came out in the first one.

Among a slew of recent announcements, including the writers of Thor (Mark Protosevich of Poseidon), Captain America (David Self of Thirteen Days), Nick Fury (Andrew Marlowe of Air Force One), and Hulk-2 (Zak Penn of, sigh, X3 and FF) -- as well as official word on Edgar Wright's Ant-Man -- Marvel's Avi Arad says John Favreau will helm Iron Man.

"This is about camaraderie. It's about teamwork, but most of all it's about history. It's really about knowing your roots. I mean, kids today, they're reading about Wolverine's clone sister. What the hell is that about?" The Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society (By way of Do You Feel Loved?) For old-school comic fans, this is worth seeing for the Kang and Ultron costumes alone. (And, as Chris noted, the payoff is pretty funny too.)