Recently in Marvel Category

Although, let's be honest: Rorschach is more like the original Tea Partier, no? Anyway, it's not just Calvin. By way of Mary Sue, comic book characters weigh in on Occupy Wall Street. Speaking for the 1%: Lex Luthor, Uncle Scrooge, Victor Von Doom, and, my evening alter-ego these days, Bruce Wayne...but he's cool.

When Hal Jordan took a bullet for Steve Rogers by being the inevitable middling comic book movie of the season, the path was open for Marvel to go three-for-three this year. And, hey, they pulled it off! Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class is still the most fun and self-assured of this year's comic book crop, but Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger is another solidly entertaining summer outing, and as good a Cap movie as Thor was a Thor movie. In the end, I probably preferred this film of the latter two, both for its four-color propaganda poster flavor and because I just prefer Cap to the Asgardian -- but it's really a toss-up.

If anything, The First Avenger is more faithful to its titular character, since Johnston, unlike Branagh in Thor, plays this period piece straight, without the likes of Kat Dennings and Clark Gregg providing a security blanket of 21st century irony. Speaking of which, Chris Evans has already shown he exudes star presence in movies like Sunshine and Scott Pilgrim, and he was easily the best thing about otherwise bland comic-book flicks like Fantastic Four and The Losers. But, in the past, he's always skated by on his snark, and I was worried Steve Rogers might be turned into a self-aware, wisecracking Spiderman sort to accommodate that. But, no, Captain America here is noble, earnest, and maybe a tiny bit dull -- exactly as he should be.

In this incarnation as in the original comic, Steve Rogers is a puny kid from Brooklyn whose spirit is willing and flesh is weak: Even as his best friend James "Bucky" Barnes (Sebastian Stans), and seemingly every other able-bodied American male in the borough, head off to fight Hitler and Japan in the Big W-W-I-I, Rogers is rejected from one recruiting office after another for being a tiny, wimpy asthmatic. That is, until a German emigre named Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) overhears Rogers again trying to serve his country for the umpteenth time. Perhaps, Erskine decides, this brave little man might be the perfect candidate for America's top-secret Super Soldier program, conveniently headquartered in New York City. (Not to be confused with the Manhattan Project.)

It had better work, since Nazi Germany already has a Super Soldier of its own. That would be Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), a.k.a. The Red Skull, head of Hitler's deep-science division HYDRA. And, while Hitler wastes time "digging around in the desert" (heh), Schmidt has located the all-powerful Cosmic Cube in Eastern Europe, where it had been under guard by Mr Filch/Walder Frey. Now, with his right-hand man Arnim Zola (Toby Jones), Schmidt threatens to use this powerful device to (wait for it, wait for it) take over the entire world. Can anyone stop his dastardly plan? Anyone, anyone? Rogers?

So, ya, pretty standard set-up, of course. Along the hero's journey, Captain America suffers through boot camp (led by Tommy Lee Jones, who's phoning it in but who at least isn't doing his Two-Face schtick.) He gains a costume, a shield, a squad (the Howling Commandoes), and the attentions of a plucky and beautiful British agent, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell of Cassandra's Dream.) And he learns, more than once, that war isn't a USO show, and that with great power comes great sacrifice...but let's save those spoilers for The Avengers.

Speaking of that forthcoming super-team, there's plenty of chum in the water in The First Avenger for Marvel fans, from Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper here, not Roger Sterling) to the aforementioned Cosmic Cube to a great first shot of Jones' Zola, which pays homage to his four-color incarnation. When it comes to real, not comic-book, history, however, The First Avenger is obviously a bit fast and loose with the era. Several years before Truman desegregates, the Howling Commandoes are a multiracial brigade, and in fact the entire US Army seems integrated. And while Peggy has to put up with some macho bravado, she still seems unencumbered by the sexism of the period.

Still, given that this is a movie about a guy wrapped in Old Glory who continually punches Hitler in the face, the rose-tinted ahistoricism didn't bother me all that much. Captain America is a propaganda vehicle by design -- arguably the best section in the movie has him being taken on a Flags of our Fathers-style USO tour. And like Superman's commitment to truth, justice, and the American Way, Cappy has always been more about who we as a nation should be than who we actually are, so I found myself more willing than usual to forgive the film some well-intentioned anachronisms. If anything, I'm glad The First Avenger didn't choose to make Cap an overly militaristic hero. Instead, he's a unassuming kid from Brooklyn, given great power, whose patriotism mainly consists of just trying to do the right thing.

Along with the recent pics in Entertainment Weekly, above, also out just before Comic-Con is our first look at Marc Webb's reboot of The Amazing Spiderman, with Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Denis Leary, and Campbell Scott (as Pa Parker? That's a new twist.) The jumping around at the end is very Mirror's Edge, and the tone feels a bit too dark and Nolan-y to me for our friendly neighborhood webhead. Still, I'll see it.

Before we discuss that colorful, mutant-ridden year of 1962, journey if you will, faithful readers, back to June of 2005: Fresh off the impressive Layer Cake, director Matthew Vaughn decides to beg out of the ultimately atrocious X3: The Last Stand in pre-production, due mainly to the highly-compressed production schedule. In his own words, "'What happened with X-Men 3 was I didn't have the time to make the movie that I wanted to make.'"

And so the studio decided to replace Vaughn with veteran hack Brett Ratner, who, true to form, subsequently delivered an egregious cash-grab of a movie. (To be fair, Ratner's hands were tied by a terrible, death-heavy script that never should've been greenlighted.) Thus was destroyed much of the goodwill Fox had built up with Bryan Singer's X-Men and X2: X-Men United, and the studio's reputation was cemented as the place where otherwise decent comic book properties are squeezed for an opening weekend box office haul and then left to die. (See also: Daredevil, Elektra, and Tim Story's two terrible Fantastic Four films.)

So when news broke in May of 2010 that director Matthew Vaughn would be returning to the X-franchise for X-Men: First Class, Fox's Mad Men-era reboot of Marvel's most famous mutants -- due out the following summer! -- the fanfolk out there had to wonder: Would the consistently solid Vaughn, now with Stardust and Kick-Ass under his belt, actually be able to churn out a high-quality X-film under even more ridiculous time constraints? The answer, happily, is yes. Jaunty and briskly paced throughout, this globe-trotting X-adventure has the comic book energy and sense of fun its predecessor lacked. And even with a bevy of C-lister mutants on the roster (more on them in a moment), X-Men: First Class could very well be the best X-film in the franchise. (It and X2 would have to slug that out in the Danger Room, I think.) If nothing else, it's the second surprisingly solid Marvel film this summer -- let's hope Cap can make it a trifecta.

Just as J.J. Abrams and co. made the best of the Star Wars prequels in Star Trek, one great decision Vaughn and his six-deep story and writing team make is to unabashedly borrow from other genre influences. Vaughn himself has described the movie as "X-Men meets Bond," and that he molded "a young Magneto on a young Sean Connery. He's the ultimate spy -- imagine Bond, but with superpowers." And it works, in part because Fassbender, like the young Connery, has charisma to spare. For the first half-hour or so, it's inordinately good fun watching the young mutant master of magnetism (and languages) channel Bond-by-way-of-Simon-Wiesenthal and scour the globe for ex-Nazis to get payback for his parents (not to mention, in a clever switcheroo, Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.)

But 007 isn't the only genre influence at work here. As it does in the comics, if you think about it, the earliest iteration of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters here also has a touch of the Hogwarts magic, especially when our first team of young mutants -- here, Mystique, Beast, Havoc, Banshee, a Pixieish Angel, and Darwin -- show each other their powers. And, of course, there's more than a bit of an Obi-Wan-Anakin-and-the-Emperor triangle going on with Professor X, the big M, and Kevin Bacon's impressive Big Bad, Sebastian Shaw, albeit with less whining and green screen-induced thousand yard stares.

Speaking of Bacon: You really can't say enough about the exceptional cast of X-Men: First Class. It would be very easy to imagine this film falling on its face if folks other than he, Fassbender, James McAvoy, and Jennifer Lawrence were carrying the acting load here. As it is, you don't get the sense from any of them that they feel like they're slumming it here. (Sadly, one does gets that sense from January Jones as Emma Frost, a.k.a. the White Queen. She's as wooden as Betty Draper and is...not good. The originally cast Alice Eve, or Rosamund Pike, would have been better.)

The only real qualm I have with X-Men: First Class, and it's ultimately a minor one, is that this isn't actually X-Men's First Class -- likely because Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Iceman made it into the first few films -- and the roster they chose here feels rather budget. (Havok and Banshee, for example, have pretty much exactly the same power when you get right down to it, and other than Banshee's "sonar" moment, everything they do here could've been done by Scott Summers.) Still, the beauty of the X-franchise is that the roster is always getting rejiggered in some way or another -- even death is merely a setback -- so they can always bring more intriguing heros on for X-Men: Second Class. Let's just hope Fox has learned to keep Vaughn, or another director of his caliber, in the director's (wheel)chair this time.

Well, I'm sure it helped that, between the series of underwhelming trailers and the general hokiness of the source material, I went in with expectations calibrated at about shin-level. Still, I was surprised to discover this past Friday that Kenneth Branagh's corny but amiable adaptation of Marvel's Thor -- which I caught IN THREE DIMENSIONS (the third of which adds next to nothing, by the way; save your money) -- is totally and utterly not-bad.

That may seem like I'm damning this first of four comic book tentpoles this summer -- along with X-Men: First Class, Green Lantern, and Captain America: The First Avenger -- with faint praise. But, hey, sometimes ok is a good thing. There's not much reaching for depth here: Branagh's Thor is smart and self-referential enough to know that, once you get past all the family strife, Norse brooding, hubris of Gods, and whatnot, this is just a breezy, early-May popcorn film, and it keeps a light touch accordingly. The Dark Knight, this isn't.

As such, and perhaps not surprisingly, Thor -- the story of a fallen deity's misadventures in the American Southwest, and the brother who betrayed him back home -- feels more in keeping with the Make-Mine-Marvel larkiness of Iron Man. (And although IM was a much better film, Thor is more successful and self-contained a story than the rush job that was Iron Man 2.)

Like Iron Man, Thor is a comic that -- Walt Simonson's epic run in the 80's notwithstanding -- I've remained mostly agnostic about over the years. With all due respect to the Nordic pantheon from whence he came, Thor has just never been all-that-interesting a comic book character to me. He's...a guy...with a hammer. Nor, for that matter, are his powers very well-defined. So, ok, he's strong and can kinda sorta control the weather. But there're a lot of generic strongmen running around the Marvel universe -- Hulk, Hercules, Colossus, Juggernaut. What makes Thor different?

With that in mind, Branagh and his team of screenwriters make the smart move of dropping the "trapped as mere mortal Dr. Donald Blake" part of Thor's origin and taking what's distinctive about the character -- mainly, his Asgardian roots and his noble, if a bit dense, nature -- to fashion a fish-out-of-water story instead. Most of the humor that keeps the movie humming along -- say, Thor going to the pet store to find a Lockjaw-type large steed on which to ride through the desert -- ensues from this wise decision to skip canon and tell a rollicking Thor story (Thory?) instead.

The film also benefits from a bevy of actors, including but by no means limited to Chris "Papa Kirk" Hemsworth as the titular thunder god, who can managed the dual feat of conveying comic book gravitas when it is required and delivering moments of pure cheese with a wink and a nod. Anthony Hopkins, of course, is an old hand at this sort of thing by now, but his Odin is matched well by Tom Hiddleston's impressive turn as Loki, the God of Mischief. (Let's face it, Loki was always a more interesting character than Thor anyway, almost by design, and perhaps the most visceral geek thrill I got out of Thor was seeing Hiddleston -- in the iconic horned helmet -- lounging on Asgard's throne like something out of Milton.) And a number of other actors here match the same wry and knowing tone perfectly, from Idris Elba's Heimdall to Clark Gregg's ubiquitous Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D to Stellan Skargard, here in the often-thankless role of skeptical science guy/mentor to the love interest.

Speaking of the love interest, Natalie Portman continues her post-Black Swan year-of-many-films here as super-physicist Jane Foster, and she's decent enough at it. At the very least she doesn't exhibit the deer-in-a-headlights stare that accompanied her last venture into FX-heavy fandom, the prequels. If there's a weak link here, it's probably -- and sadly -- Rome's Ray Stevenson (who already did time in the Marvelverse as the Punisher, in the one with McNutty) as Volstagg of the Warriors Three, a.k.a. Falstaff in the comics, Gimli in this film. I like Stevenson, but he's mostly just miscast here. A more rotund individual (Oliver Platt? Mark Addy?) probably could've sold the character better.

Still, the very fact that the Warriors Three are traipsing around the margins of a big summer movie just goes to show what an embarrassment of riches comic book fans are enjoying at the multiplex these days. Even if I'm not much of a fan of Thor per se, I have to admit I definitely enjoy watching the world-building Marvel is engaged in as a studio right now. (Here, various Marvel denizens are name-dropped, and another Avenger shows up briefly mid-movie -- You'll know him when you see him.)

Like the comics they're based on, these pre-Avengers films have permeable borders. It's like nothing we've seen before at the cinema, and the ambition is thrilling. Of course, there will be a backlash eventually -- one of these comic book films is going to bomb, and bomb big. But, surprisingly to me at least, Thor doesn't signify the end is near. To the contrary, it shows that if you get a good director, good writers, and good actors who take their source seriously -- but not too seriously -- the comic book experience is actually pretty translatable to the big screen. The ball's in your court now, Hal Jordan.

On the Marvel front, recent weeks has seen an impressive Super Bowl spot for Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger and a decent trailer for Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: Mad Men...err, X-Men: First Class. (Screenshots are here and here respectively -- Note Hugo Weaving's Red Skull unmasked.)

In case you were wondering, that's skinny Steve Rogers (Chris Evans + CGI) above, and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) apparently enjoying some downtime below.

Also not to be forgotten, we have another official pic of Marc Webb's Amazing Spiderman. Looks good in a dark room, at least.

"I've always loved Raiders and the tone that it had,' says director Joe Johnston. 'It was period but didn't feel like it was made in the period. It felt like a modern-day film about the period, which is what we're doing on Captain America.'" The new Empire gives us another look at Chris Evans in Captain America: The First Avenger. (See also the higher-res cover image.) He looks mighty iconic there, I must say.

"The best way of describing it is X-Men meets Bond, with a little bit of Thirteen Days thrown in for good measure. It's set in the '60s, and I basically molded a young Magneto on a young Sean Connery. He's the ultimate spy -- imagine Bond, but with superpowers."

Also backlogged for a week or so: After a not-so-great initial photo leak, Matthew Vaughn of Layer Cake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass talks about what to expect from his X-Men: First Class. "It's got a lot of teenage angst. The Twilight girls will like it." Hrm.

Lots of action on the Marvel movie front this past week. The powers-that-be have granted us our first looks at Chris Evans as Captain America, and Andrew Garfield as the new Peter Parker, along with another shot of Chris Hemsworth as the Mighty Thor. Hmm...three-for-three, I'd say, although I still have a bad, straight-to-video-y feeling about the god of thunder.

Update: Just as I finished posting this, a promo image leaks from Matthew Vaughn's X-Men First Class. From left to right: "Michael Fassbinder as Magneto, Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert, January Jones as Emma Frost, Jason Flemyng as Azazel, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Lucas Till as Havoc, Zoe Kravitz as Angel Salvadore, Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, and James MacAvoy as Charles Xavier." Looks...crowded.

Metallica roadie or Norse God of Thunder? Chris "Papa Kirk" Hemsworth finds himself stuck inside of Midgard with the Asgard blues again in the teaser for Kenneth Branagh's Thor, also with Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Ray Stevenson, Clark Gregg, Kat Dennings, Colm Feore, Rene Russo, Jaimie Alexander, Stellan Skarsgard, and Idris Elba. Hmmm. Like the forthcoming Green Lantern over on the DC side, this looks rather cheesy...but maybe Loki will be fun.

Meanwhile, a more promising upcoming comic creation announces its main villain -- one who's also potentially featured in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises -- in this impressive trailer for Batman: Arkham City, due out next fall. Looks great, and Arkham Asylum is both very fun and a totally immersive Batman experience. But, while I get that they're riffing on Call of Duty: Black Ops here (and take that, Sam Fisher), I'm already way over the recent trend towards interrogation scenes in my gaming.

"'At the time, I remember telling a buddy of mine, 'If the movie bombs, I'm f---ed. If the movie hits, I'm f---ed!' After declining the part three times...Evans signed a six-picture deal with Marvel to play the character, and he has no regrets: 'I can't believe was almost too chicken to play Captain America.'" Entertainment Weekly gets the first official shot of Chris Evans suited up for Captain America. I presume he'll be wearing a blue army helmet at least, but so far so good...now let's see the Skull.

"'We'll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we'll be introducing some new ones,' Nolan said cryptically." Lots of big doings on the fanboy front recently: First up, the next Batman movie has a (lousy) title: The Dark Knight Rises, and Chris Nolan has announced the Riddler will not be the villain. (He earlier wrote off Mr. Freeze.) So whomever Tom Hardy turns out to be, it's not Edward Nigma. (My current guess is he's Killer Croc, with a yet-to-be-cast Catwoman as the main villain.)

Riddles may not feature in Gotham, but they will soon be spun in deepest Wellington: In happy news, New Zealand will be returning as Middle Earth for the upcoming Hobbit films. "'Making the two movies here will not only safeguard work for thousands of New Zealanders, but will also allow us to follow the success of the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy in once again promoting New Zealand on the world stage,' [Prime Minister!] Key said."

Those are the two big upcoming guns. But, also on the docket, James Cameron officials signs up for two more Avatars for 2014 and 2015. Well...ok. I can think of other worlds I'd rather see him tackle than Pandora again.

And, with Black Swan opening very soon, Darren Aronofsky announces his next project (after, um, Wolverine 2), will be called Machine Man. "Machine Man, not to be confused with the Marvel Comics character, concerns a tech engineer who, tired of going through life average and unnoticed, replaces parts of his body with titanium upgrades of his own design. He then discovers that he isn't the only one with plans for his new body."

While work has been kicking my ass like Doomsday on a tear through Metropolis, some big doings for the Big Three on the comic-to-film front. To wit:

• Marc Webb's Spiderman revamp gets a Gwen Stacey in the very Mary Jane Watson-ish Emma Stone (of Easy A and Zombieland) and a villain to menace Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker in Rhys Ifans, most recently of Greenberg and Exit Through the Gift Shop. Apparently, Ifans is playing Curt Connors, a.k.a. the Lizard. Both solid casting (if Stone can pull off blonde), but, honestly, what's Dylan Baker gotta do to catch a break?



• Meanwhile in DC land, the Nolan-produced Superman reboot has locked down a director in...Zack Snyder. "The character of Superman needs to be relevant again, without disrespecting his mythology. That's my goal." Well, Snyder has shown he knows how to recreate comic storyboards in 300 and Watchmen, but he still doesn't seem like a great fit for this franchise to me. We'll see.



• Over in Nolan's Gotham City, word breaks that Tom Hardy of Bronson and Inception will be playing a lead role in Batman 3, which likely means the villain. The Riddler? The Penguin? Black Mask? Killer Croc (to go along with the New Orleans location shooting?) At this point, I'm only ruling out Catwoman and Poison Ivy.

Since Glenn Beck and his elderly white army ventured to DC this weekend (via roads, highways, and mass transit) to complain about socialism (in a public park), what better time to break away to nearby Baltimore for a gathering of fanboys and fangirls? Baltimore Comic-Con was Saturday, and, as with the NY Comic-Con back in 2006, I've put a few pics up on the Flickr Feed. (I mostly took pics of cosplayers, but there were quite a few venerable comic names out and about as well, including Walt and Louise Simonson, Bernie Wrightson, Howard Chaykin, Jim Shooter, and Jim Starlin.)

A publicity still from Kenneth Branagh's Thor featuring Odin, Thor, and Loki, a.k.a. Anthony Hopkins, Chris Hemsworth, and Tom Hiddleston respectively, materializes on the tubes. Well, I'll defer my full assessment until I've seen the characters move around under cinema lighting, but, to my mind, these outfits don't look so hot. I guess they were going for Kirbyesque, but they look too plastic-y and space-age to me. (Also, Loki needs horns badly, but they're too iconic not to show up in the final movie, I'd think.)

Elsewhere in comic-to-film-news, EW gets a look at Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern (again, too early to tell, but this CGI-approach could work), and, in lieu of Eric Bana and Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo may well be Hulking out for Joss Whedon's Avengers. (Eh, fine.)

Update: Forgot to mention the recent goings-on with Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class. Joining McAvoy, Fassbender, and Eve as Xavier, Magneto, and Emma Frost are Kevin Bacon and Jennifer Lawrence (of Winter's Bone) as the Big Bad (Mr. Sinister?) and Mystique respectively. Also along for the ride: A Single Man's Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Friday Night Lights' Caleb Landry Jones as Banshee, Hannah Montana's Lucas Till as Havok, and purportedly Kick-Ass's Aaron Johnson as Cyclops, altho' that last one is still up in the air.

Update 2: More Thor and Green Lantern images emerge.

"On selecting Garfield, director Marc Webb said, 'Though his name may be new to many, those who know this young actor's work understand his extraordinary talents. He has a rare combination of intelligence, wit, and humanity. Mark my words, you will love Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker.'"

I'm inclined to agree -- this is really great casting. Better than Tobey Maguire, in fact. Sony's Spiderman reboot finds its friendly neighborhood webslinger in Andrew Garfield of The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and Red Riding '74 (and soon of Never Let Me Go and The Social Network.) And given the Peter Parkerish sensiblity at work in Webb's (500) Days of Summer, this project actually seems to be coming together quite nicely.

In the Jonah Hex review below, I mentioned the intriguing casting of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Professor X and Magneto respectively. Now, Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class circles 'round its White Queen in Alice Eve of She's Out of My League and Sex and the City 2. Haven't seen either of those, but she looks the part...although I still might've gone with Rosamund Pike myself.

"'No', says Nolan emphatically and unhesitatingly. He resists elaborating simply because, quite understandably, he says, 'I just don't feel comfortable talking about it.'" Christopher Nolan nips talk of recasting the Joker for Batman 3. (There was much fanboy speculation that the Ledger-esque Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, now on Team Nolan as of Inception, might take up the war paint for some kind of Silence of the Lambs-y type nod to the character from the depths of Arkham Asylum. No can do, apparently.)

Elsewhere in the comic movie department, Jeremy Renner of The Hurt Locker, 28 Weeks Later, and The Asssassination of Jesse James looks set to join Joss Whedon's The Avengers as Hawkeye. Which makes you wonder -- how deep into Avengers canon are we going here? Ant-Man and Wasp seem likely...what of Vision and Scarlet Witch?

"Most of the U.S. national news about immigration is very sad: bitter political disputes in Arizona, or images of desperate immigrants trying to cross the border. So much pain numbs you. It is easy to overlook the practical contribution of immigrants to American society, as well as the enormous financial contribution they make in sending remittances home. A lot of Latino communities survive on that money...Comic-book superheroes have an alter ego, and so do immigrants in the United States. They may be insignificant or even invisible to much of society, but they are heroes in their homelands."

In Foreign Policy, photojournalist Dulce Pinzón shares her photo collection of Mexican migrant workers dressed as superheroes. (Officially here.) "The principal objective of this series is to pay homage to these brave and determined men and women that somehow manage, without the help of any supernatural power, to withstand extreme conditions of labor in order to help their families and communities survive and prosper."

Alas, while Tony Stark's original outing was a smart and surprisingly fun thrill ride that kicked off its summer in grand fashion -- put another way, it was the Kick-Ass of 2008 -- I am sorry to report that Jon Favreau's leaden, unwieldy Iron Man 2 falls back down to Earth. In short, it's basically the so-so, overripe, big-dumb-action flick I expected the first time around.

To be clear, the movie isn't an embarrassment -- On acting alone, it's miles above recent big-budget studio dren like Alice in Wonderland or Clash of the Titans. But, if the first Iron Man soared, this one dutifully plods along, earthbound. Usually, comic book franchises, freed of their origin story, gain momentum in their second chapter -- Superman II, Spiderman 2, X2, The Dark Knight. But here, unfortunately, we're closer to Quantum of Solace territory -- after a promising opening round, both films relapse into the lazy writing and unseemly summer-blockbuster habits whose surprising absence had defined their first go-round.

The thing that makes Iron Man 2 so maddening, and even kinda sad in the end, is that the powers-that-be clearly tried to capture the same lightning in a bottle that propelled the first one. As such, this movie feels like it was made by a committee, who sat down with Iron Man, a DVD player, and some notepads and tried to figure out exactly what made the first one tick. Then they took the various strands they came up with, made each one bigger-faster-stronger, and tried to recombinate them for Iron Man 2. Blammo, we have a sequel!...Only, it doesn't quite work like that. That sort of reverse-engineering may work in advanced weapons manufacturing -- but for movies, not so much. And, as a result, Iron Man 2 doesn't cohere nearly as well as the original. It feels disparate and shapeless and, well, rusty.

So, let's see here, we have Robert Downey, Jr. being charmingly egotistical, tossing off off-kilter line readings, wooing Gwyneth Paltrow, mouthing off to authority figures (this time, Senator Garry Shandling), and trading in on his troubled past to bring pathos to alcoholic billionaire Tony Stark. Check. We have a few exceedingly likable actors known for talent rather than bankability -- Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell -- in the villain roles. Check. We have lots of future-think computer displays in Tony's office, maybe a funny robot or two. Check. We have plenty of state-of-the-art military-grade hardware for the boys-and-their-toys crowd, and a bunch of random "Avengers! Coming-soon-to-a-theater-near-you" comic nods to keep the rest of the fanboys happy. Check. Oh, yes, 'splosions too, and don't forget the extra Bigger Robots Iron Man has to fight at some point. Check and check.

All the right boxes are checked off, and they even add a few more. (Hey, everybody digs Mad Men. Roger Sterling? Check!) And yet Iron Man 2 still ends up feeling more like an attempt to sell happy meals at Burger King and cups at 7-11 than an actual, full-fledged movie experience. Why? Well, I'm guessing it's because the film is undercooked. Simply put, the whole thing just feels like it was rushed out of the gate to make this 2010 release date, most notably in the writing department. Screenwriter Justin Theroux is a decent actor (Mulholland Drive, Six Feet Under), and he obviously scored a hit as one of three writers on Tropic Thunder (with Ben Stiller and Etan Cohen.) But, to say this plot has holes would suggest it's somehow more form than void in the end. As told, this film barely makes any sense whatsoever. You may have heard that Mickey Rourke recently admitted he doesn't know what the movie was about. Well, I sat through the durned thing, and I'm not sure myself.

There's no point in nitpicking every little thing that doesn't make sense in Iron Man 2 -- it's a fool's errand. But even by the lax standards one must accord a film about a guy in a flying metal tuxedo, it just doesn't hang together. You could wrestle over the basic plot points: What is Whiplash's plan here, exactly -- just to hope he picks up a benefactor? How does he know Tony will be racing at Monaco, and how does he -- or Pepper or Happy -- get on the track? Why does Justin Hammer want shoes? For what crime do the cops go after him in the end? Or you can go bigger with it: Why is Pepper Potts the head of Stark now? Why is Rhodey so trusting of the Big Bads? You're kidding me with this new element stuff, yes? Why can the Black Widow turn off some suits and not others? For that matter, why is she even in this film? But the answer seems to be: Sorry, because that's all we could think of to keep the story moving along. Sheesh, get over yourself, will ya? Sit back, eat some popcorn, don't think so much.

Well, maybe they're right, but the beauty of the first Iron Man is that it was slick, smart, and reasonably self-contained -- It hung together quite well, and you didn't have to turn your brain off to enjoy it. But this one's lumbering and bric-a-brac and all over the place in that summer-action-movie way, partly because I guess they wanted to top the first film, and partly because it's overburdened with all the random Avengers-prequel nonsense. See: Samuel L. Jackson as (nu-school) Nick Cage and Scarlett Johansson as the Widow. (I don't want to hate on Johansson too much, although I still think somebody like Olga Kurylenko was a much better fit to play a sleek Russian super-spy. Suffice to say, they didn't even give her an accent for some reason, and, when it comes to her big Trinity-ish action setpiece...well, I found Hit-Girl more plausible.)

So, is there a silver lining here? Well, Mickey Rourke isn't given near enough to say or do, but he's fun while he lasts. And, while Sam Rockwell may be slumming in a well-worn groove as "the guy who's not quite as cool as he wants to be" (Galaxy Quest, Zaphod), he just about steals the movie away every time he shows up. (Consider the scene where he's arming War Machine, and that business with the little nuke -- a joke lifted from MIB's "noisy cricket," by the way.) So, there's hope for the franchise yet, if they keep up the quality casting and just spend a little more time putting it all together next time. The first weekend alone already suggests Iron Man 3 will be a go. Here's hoping Favreau, Downey, et al get the pieces in order first before embarking on part III. Gotta break that rusty cage, y'all.

As rumored for awhile now, Hugo Weaving -- a.k.a. Agent Smith, Elrond, and V -- will add even further to his fanboy cachet by suiting up as the Red Skull for Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger. (Not altogether surprising: Weaving just showed up in Johnston's botched Wolfman.) He joins Chris Evans as the Cap'n, Sebastian Stan as Bucky, and Hayley Atwell (late of Cassandra's Dream) as Steve Rogers' gal, Peggy Carter.

Update: It looks like the character of Howard Stark -- Tony's dad -- is also involved, although he probably won't be as Roger Sterling-ish.

Update 2: The Cap'n's rogues gallery expands as Toby Jones signs to play Arnim Zola, "a Nazi scientist who used his horrific experiments to allow himself to unnaturally extend his life, ultimately leading to his consciousness being permanently stuck in a robotic body. Type-casting!"

"Vaughn's involvement had been on and off, with negotiations resuming yesterday thanks to the involvement of producer Bryan Singer. Another factor had been Fox's desire of wanting to have a finished film for next summer, making the search for a director who can deliver a quality film a priority."

Hmm...strange. Elsewhere in comic-to-film news, Layer Cake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass helmer Matthew Vaughn -- who memorably left X3 before it became a Ratner hack job -- is now back with the mutants for X-Men: First Class, i.e. the Professor X & Magneto backstory. I'd kinda soured on the X-franchise after the last two Fox ventures -- never even saw Wolverine -- but Vaughn instantly makes this interesting again.

As Iron Man 2 launches in one week (and, if you're feeling spoilerish, the post-credit sequence has leaked), the next Avenger down the pike, the Mighty Thor, gets ready for his close-up. That's Chris Hemsworth (formerly Papa Kirk in Star Trek) as the Asgardian in question. Joining him in Kenneth Branagh's film are Tom Hiddleston (Loki), Natalie Portman (Jane Foster), Anthony Hopkins (Odin), Jaimie Alexander (Sif), Rene Russo (Frigga), Kat Dennings (Darcy), Stellan Skarsgard (Selvia), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Ray Stevenson (Volstagg), and Colm Feore (a villain to be named later -- possibly the Destroyer?)

"The idea basically sparked from the realisation that Mr Happy from the Mr Men, looks a lot like the Comedians badge from Watchmen... and a quick doodle of this lead to the question "Who Watches the Mr Men?" and assigning various Mr Men personalities to their Alan Moore counterparts..." By way of my sis and as you may have already seen in my twitter feed, various Marvel and DC superheroes done up as Mr. Men (a staple of my early years).

Five movies this past weekend and I didn't catch this one (although I did see the fun Tron: Legacy teaser): With Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer making an appearance, here's the second trailer for Jon Favreau's Iron Man 2. This is only two months away? Wow, that was fast.

"Webb said, 'This is a dream come true and I couldn't be more aware of the challenge, responsibility, or opportunity. Sam Raimi's virtuoso rendering of Spider-Man is a humbling precedent to follow and build upon. The first three films are beloved for good reason.'" Well, actually, not many care much for Spidey 3. In any event, the post-Raimi reboot of Spiderman at Sony has found its director in Mark Webb, previously of (500) Days of Summer.

A solid choice, although two things give me pause: 1) It's hard to escape the sense that Webb was picked mainly because the studio suits think that, unlike Raimi, he'll be more malleable than a lot of the A-list names floating around (Fincher, Cameron). 2) The ramifications of the following sentence might just end up being terrible: "The touchstone for the new movie will not be the 1960s comics...but rather this past decade's 'Ultimate Spider-Man' comics by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley where the villain-fighting took a back seat to the high school angst."

"A decade ago we set out on this journey with Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire and together we made three 'Spider-Man' films that set a new bar for the genre. When we began, no one ever imagined that we would make history at the box-office and now we have a rare opportunity to make history once again with this franchise."

Um, ok. Apparently as a result of continuing tensions between Sam Raimi (still gunshy after being forced to include Venom in Spiderman 3) and the studio suits (who wanted him to move ahead anyway), Sony puts the kibosh on Spiderman 4 and sends Raimi, Maguire, et al on their way. Next up is a reboot, scripted by Zodiac's James Vanderbilt and slated for 2012. (Here's a tip -- Don't give the Green Goblin a cruddy mask this time.)

Also, in much less interesting Marvel firing news, Stuart Townsend is out as Fandral in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, and has been replaced by Joshua Dallas of the forthcoming Red Tails and The Descent 2. Hmm...Perhaps he was still bitter about the whole Aragorn thing.

And another late arrival in today's trailer bin, which will also presumably be featured before Avatar tomorrow night: The Stark family past catches up to Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) in the teaser for Jon Favreau's eagerly-anticipated Iron Man 2, also with Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle (replacing Terrence Howard as Rhodey), Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell (blink and you'll miss him), Samuel L. Jackson, Garry Shandling, and Mickey Rourke. Yes, they made a sequel to the movie about the trailer...From a fanboy perspective, I'm still thinking Johannson is badly miscast as the Black Widow. Otherwise, this looks like more of the same -- Count me in.

Casting continues to fill out for Kenneth Branagh's Thor: Apparently Idris Elba will play Heimdall (Asgard's bouncer, basically), and Stuart Townsend, Ray Stevenson, and Tadanobu Asano have signed up as Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun respectively (Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg.) Stringer Bell and the Warriors Three join Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Natalie Portman, Jaime Alexander, Colm Feore, Anthony Hopkins, and Stellan Skarsgaard.

Casting for Kenneth Branagh's take on Thor fills out, with Jaimie Alexander and Colm Feore joining the cast. Alexander plays Sif, while "Feore's character is shrouded in mystery, though it is known to be a villain." (That spells trouble to me -- Be it stage or screen, Feore can be super-hammy.)

Whoever Feore is playing (Mephisto?), it's not Loki -- That would be Tom Hiddleston, appearing alongside "Papa Kirk" Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Natalie Portman as Jane Foster.

Meanwhile, the strange Aaron Sorkin-penned, David Fincher-directed Facebook movie, The Social Network, gets a cast in Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake, and Doctor Who alum Andrew Garfield (also soon to appear in Gilliam's Imaginarium.) "Eisenberg will play Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg; Timberlake will play Sean Parker, the Napster co-founder who became Facebook's founding president; and Andrew Garfield will play Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who fell out with Zuckerberg over money."

"'We believe that adding Marvel to Disney's unique portfolio of brands provides significant opportunities for long-term growth and value creation,' said Disney President and Chief Executive Robert A. Iger." Spidey, meet the Mouse: Disney buys Marvel for $4 billion.

And, in very related news, Fox announces another Fantastic Four reboot, with -- true to Fox form -- the hackmeisterly Akiva Goldsman at the helm. "Though Marvel Entertainment owns and finances properties like 'Iron Man' and 'Thor,' Fox controls 'Fantastic Four' in perpetuity -- as long as it continues making the films. Fox has the same arrangement on Marvel Comics properties 'X-Men,' 'Daredevil' and "Silver Surfer."

Casting fills out for Kenneth Branagh's Thor -- there's a phrase that should stay weird for awhile -- with the titular hero to be played by Chris Hemsworth (recently George "Papa" Kirk in Star Trek) and Branagh veteran Tom Hiddleston as Loki. Well, they both look the part, at least. So far, so good.

"Standing 5 foot 3, weighing 300 pounds (thanks to that metal skeleton), he's a hairy-backed fashion victim from a country nobody takes seriously. But look around any high-school or college cafeteria during lunch hour at the armies of hairy-backed, height and weight disproportionate fashion victims and you'll quickly realize that these are his people. If you're a nerd, a loser, an outcast, or a misfit then there's only one all-purpose tough guy for you. Wolverine: He's just like us. Only Canadian."

Over in Slate and in honor of his new solo movie (which I'm still planning to skip -- I'm sure it'll be mildly entertaining on TNT in a few years), Grady Hendrix doffs his hat to the enduring popularity of Wolverine. If you say so, bub. When I wasn't crushing on Kitty Pryde -- I was always more of a Nightcrawler kid, so i'll take your word for it. At any rate, Hendrix's evisceration of the trademark Claremont style is pretty funny (although I'd disagree with him that Wolvie is Claremont's Malcolm X -- That would be Magneto.)

Stand clear of the closing doors, please: In the trailer bin of late, it's Tony's Scott's remake of The Taking of the Pelham 1-2-3 (and if you want a doo doo rhyme, then come see me), starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, John Turturro, James Gandolfini, and Greg from Flight of the Conchords (a.k.a. Frank Wood). The trailer here has got a good bit of ADD Tony Scott shakicam, and what looks to be the ending mano a mano -- so save yourself ten bucks and two hours and just watch this, if you're so inclined.

Along those lines, there was a great to-do yesterday over the leaked release of a workprint of Fox's X-Men Origins: Wolverine onto the tubes. So, if you want to catch that, it's flitting about the ether also. For my part, I don't think I care enough about this movie to even spend the requisite time downloading it, much less watching the durned thing. And that goes double after the botch job that was X3 and Fox mucking about with Watchmen a few months ago.

Sure, Fox Searchlight still distributes some quality films, but Fox itself of late has been where once-decent properties (FF, Die Hard, X-Files, Aliens, Predator) go to die. (Let's hope James Cameron is keeping the studio's greasy hands away from Avatar.) The hackmeister currently in charge of Fox, Tom Rothman, is once rumored to have quipped "F**k the fans. We already have their money anyway." Well actually, in this case, you don't.

Some fun links by way of other quality blogs:

"'Wonder Woman? That's not even Marvel,' Obama responded before storming out of the press room. 'Who are you people?'" According to the venerable newshounds of The Onion, purported fanboy Barack Obama is apparently having trouble relating to his new cabinet. [Via LinkMachineGo.] "Added the president, "For the love of Crom, am I the only one here who wants to keep the U.S. technologically competitive?'"

I found this exchange particularly funny: "Gates told reporters he may have gotten off on the wrong foot with the new president, citing an occasion when Obama asked him what he knew about 1984's Secret Wars, a 12-issue limited Marvel release. Gates then handed a visibly confused Obama 1,400 classified pages on covert CIA operations in El Salvador. Later, the defense secretary attempted to find common ground with Obama by making casual references to the comic book Spawn. But the 44th president reportedly brushed him off with an abrupt laugh, saying, 'no one in [his] administration likes Spawn.'"

Well, sorry to hear of the dilemma, Mr. President. Perhaps (*cough cough*) hiring some progressive-minded fanboys (fanboy-minded progressives?) might've alleviated the situation...

"The electronic signs, which usually warn motorists of traffic detours, instead included warnings such as 'Caution! Zombies Ahead!' and 'Nazi Zombies! Run!!!'" By way of Liam at sententiae et clamores, some enterprising Austin wags hack the local road signs in preparation for World War Z. "The signs also instructed motorists to 'run for cold climates.'" Well-played, y'all.

"You are standing in a nightclub. There is a guitar here." Also via LMG, check out the original version of Guitar Hero from 1982. (Yes, text-adventure humor will always get some love here at GitM.)

In fanboy casting news, Tr2n (now just Tron) gets a lead in Garrett Hedlund, formerly of Troy and Friday Night Lights. "Hedlund will play the lead, a man who finds himself pulled into the world of a computer and retracing the steps of a character from the original movie named Kevin Flynn." (That would be Jeff Bridges.) And also coming along for the ride, Tron himself, Bruce Boxleitner.

Meanwhile, Jon Favreau's Iron Man 2, which is currently still being written by actor Justin Theroux, may have locked down its villains in Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke. Rockwell seems to be up for Stark's industrialist rival Justin Hammer, while Rourke will reportedly suit up as the Crymson Dynamo.

On the occasion of the new year, EW previews some of the more-anticipated films of 2009, including Michael Mann's Public Enemies, Terminator: Salvation, Spike Jonze's' long-awaited Where the Wild Things Are, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Pixar's Up, Harold Ramis' Year One, The Taking of the Pelham 1-2-3 (again), Wolverine, and Watchmen.

Times are tough, bub. In a clear sign that the economic downturn is affecting actors and celebrities as much as it is ordinary working people, Danny Huston and Liev Schreiber pay off their mortgages alongside Hugh Jackman in the new trailer for Gavin Hood's X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Ok, I kid, this doesn't look completely terrible. But some of the shots here -- particularly Jackman walking away from the explosion, hanging on to that chopper, or otherwise engaged in wire-fu -- definitely have that C-movie, Punisher: War Zone feel to them. And after the directorial switcheroo that brought about the lamentable X3: The Last Stand (which has an equally overburdened title, come to think of it -- what's with the colons?), I'm not all that inclined to look charitably on Fox's handling of this property anymore.

Fanboy-wise, I had mostly checked out of X-Men by the time they began revisiting Wolvie's origin every other year -- most of the stuff I do remember involved Kitty Pryde and feudal Japan -- so I can't really speak to what's going on in this clip in terms of comic continuity. That being said, I've always thought the cajun mutant cardslinger Gambit (here, Friday Night Lights' Taylor Kitsch, no pun intended) was a pretty goofy, throwaway character, n'est-ce-pas, mes amis? It is interesting to see (I think) Emma Frost pop up for a second, but, again, I'm much more familiar with the character in her old, Hellfire Club incarnation, before she pulled a Magneto somewhere along the line and got retconned into a X-member. (And I always thought, movie-wise, they should've cast Rosamund Pike for the White Queen, particularly in her ice-castle incarnation from the otherwise-completely-forgettable Die Another Day.)

Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe, Republicans. Listed #1 among the "50 Facts You Might Not Know about Barack Obama (courtesy of the Daily Telegraph): "He collects Spiderman and Conan the Barbarian comics."

Say whaaat? We already know for sure he's a Wire fan, but can we get some evidentiary back-up on this most recent claim? Are we talking Amazing, Peter Parker, Ultimate or what? Is President-Elect Obama a Ditko guy or a McFarlane guy? And, while the stark raving Right got lost in their "shadow muslim" idiocies, did they all miss the real story? Is our new president really a follower of Crom?

Woodward, Helen Thomas, Mike Isikoff: get on this stat. (And extra points if y'all can extract from our new prez the Riddle of Steel.)

With Matthew Vaughn now off the project, will Mjnolir fall into the hands of a Shakespearean? Apparently, Marvel is in discussions with Kenneth Branagh to direct Thor. That is...strange.

Of course, the Celts weren't the only Big Green Guys going on a rampage this past week. Like much of America, I dutifully caught Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk last Saturday, partly to fill the cinematic void until the more-anticipated summer movies return (Next stop, June 27: Wall-E and Wanted.) And, well, if you haven't seen it yet, this iteration of Hulk is about what you'd expect after Ang Lee's notable misfire: Namely, it's two hours of mostly mindless, Gamma and CGI-enhanced action sequences, strung together by generous heapings of Marvel continuity pr0n and a few bare threads of story, ripped mostly from the old TV show. Now, ever since Marvel hired the director of The Transporter to take another crack at Banner, this is exactly what the Hulk relaunch was billed to be. And since I too desired to see more "Hulk Smash!" from the Ang Lee version, I find it hard to be too down on these proceedings, and I'd say I enjoyed myself most of the time. Still, there's not much here here. If you're not a "Marvel guy" and just feel like taking in a super hero movie to whet the appetite for Hellboy 2 and The Dark Knight, I'd spend your money on Iron Man.

After a spiffy quick-edit reintroduction to the Hulk's origin (albeit without Rick Jones or a gamma-nuke), Leterrier's Incredible Hulk begins its first hour with a man on the run. It's been 157 days since Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) last went all Tyler Durden on us, and he's now hiding out in the sprawling slums of Rio de Janeiro, trying to stay off the grid, and otherwise working to keep a lockdown on his anger issues. But the US military -- represented by one take-no-guff, mustachioed general, Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt) and his deadly, if aging, new Special Ops assassin, Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) -- wants its potential Gamma-weapon back, and they will follow Banner to all ends of the earth to reacquire it, including the City of God. The first attempt at capture results in an "incident," prompting Banner to head back to the States to look for a cure (with the help of his old flame, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler)) and the government to consider growing its own enhanced supersoldier (with the aid of the WWII-era superserum that helped bring forth Captain America.) Alas, Specialist Blonsky just can't get enough, and before long he's toyed with the forces of nature enough to make of himself an Abomination. This is what the military experts refer to as "blowback"...

And commence the smashing. But fear not, faithful readers! From the aforementioned super-serum to the Tony Stark sighting (now featured in the commercials), we have enough nods to the expanded Marvel universe amidst the carnage to make even Comic-Book-Guy blush. We've got S.H.I.E.L.D., we've got Doc Samson, we've got The Leader. (Fans of the TV show, take note also of the Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno sightings.) On one hand, for a old-school comic reader like me (albeit not a huge fan of The Hulk), the fact that Marvel was taking their properties to the next level and introducing interfilm continuity was the most exciting thing about this project. On the other, all the fanboy nods throughout made this film feel somewhat inchoate and unformed on its own. (What's more, making it seem like the entire Marvel universe is in play carries its own pitfalls. When Banner is first seen discussing a cure online with a mysterious "Mr. Blue" out of New York City, I couldn't believe they'd managed to shoehorn Reed Richards into the film. When it turned out to be someone else, I found myself let down.)

Finally, I know that I was among those asking for more mayhem and destruction from Ang Lee's film, and that, as a character, the Hulk doesn't really have any other setting other than "destroy things." Still, by the time the Hulk and the Abomination engage in a climactic CGI-slugfest in my old 'hood, I was well on the way to checking out. Part of the problem, I think, is that the fight here plays almost exactly like the final Iron Monger sequence of Iron Man. Our hero must face a bigger, more powerful eeeevil version of himself, and occasionally ensure that his significant other isn't in the line of fire. If we're running that show again, to be honest, I'd rather watch it with Downey and the Dude than with these two pixellated monstrosities. All that being said, Leterrier, Norton & co. have done a passable job with this Hulk do-over, and -- as with Iron Man -- if they're getting the gang back together for another run, you could probably count me in for a matinee. Just maybe bulk the story up a little more next go, fellas. Too much smashing make Hulk brain tired.

As far as Marvel characters go, I can't say I ever really cottoned to Iron Man in my comic-reading youth. Sure, I was aware of his backstory and his rogue's gallery and all that, just by dint of sheer osmosis. But, other than when he was hanging around the Avengers or engaged in some huge crossover like Secret Wars, I don't think I ever picked up an issue. (Besides, with his industrial-techy side and all the paramilitary hangers-on, Iron Man seemed a hero designed for the GI Joe/Transformers kids, which was never really my scene. Inasmuch as I read Marvel, I usually preferred the angst-ridden, verbose types (Spidey, the X-Men, etc.))

All of this is a long way of saying that, given I have no real reservoir of nostalgia for its titular hero, Jon Favreau's crisp, surprisingly fun Iron Man seems that much more of an achievement. (Yes, I'd say the movie of the trailer holds up.) Sure, it suffers from having to tell yet another variation of the increasingly worn origin story, and thus slips below the top tier of recent comics films freed from that obligation (X2, Spiderman 2, The Incredibles.) And it's possible that Iron Man's sheer, unapologetic summer-blockbusterness may rankle a few viewers out there. (Note the not-very-subtle Burger King and Audi product placements.) But, as far as origin stories go, I'd say Iron Man can hold its helmet proudly alongside Batman Begins and the Donner Superman, thanks mainly to its superb cast (and inspired casting). And, as the kickoff to what's by all accounts an absurdly-stocked fanboy summer, Iron Man sets an auspiciously high bar for the many features to come.

In this updated incarnation, Iron Man begins as a sequel of sorts to Charlie Wilson's War: A troop convoy containing genius weapons manufacturer Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), nursing a scotch, is upended and undone on a dusty road in Afghanistan, and the ne'er-do-wells responsible are somehow armed with Stark Industries' finest. Cut to the title card, then to 36 hours earlier, when we meet Stark in his natural locale, Vegas. The son of a famous "ironmonger" and member of the Manhattan Project, Tony is basically a cross between Bill Gates and Howard Hughes, an acerbic, alcoholic, womanizing billionaire who always knows he's both the smartest and the richest guy in the room.

But after being near-fatally wounded by shrapnel of his own making and captured by an Afghan warlord in the aforementioned raid (Stark was in-country, with his Air Force pal Rhodey (Terrence Howard), to pitch his newest lethal invention to the Brass), the playboy industrialist undergoes a not-unanticipated moral awakening, thanks in part to the saintly doctor (Shaun Toub) who saves his life with an electromagnet and a car battery. After building a suit of armor to break out of his Tora Bora captivity, Stark eventually returns stateside a changed man. He's got an arc reactor (don't ask) for a heart, he's getting out of the Merchant of Death trade for good, and he's thinking about taking that whole suit-of-iron idea to the next level. This (literal) change of heart, however, doesn't sit altogether well with Stark Industries' chairman-in-regency, Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), who -- despite his long relationship with Stark and his father -- may have his own ideas on how to proceed. Y'see, the weapons trade really tied the company together, so Stark's new digression will not stand, man.

The Dude's turn toward unctuous corporate villainy is one of the most potent secret weapons in Iron Man's arsenal. (Speaking of which, look for the explicit Lebowski name-drop.) A bald, bearded, leering, and obviously untrustworthy achiever, Bridges is great fun here as the eventual Big Bad -- he takes the film up a notch in every scene he's in. (There's long been rumors of a Tron 2.0 script involving Bridges' character having gone all Col. Kurtz somewhere up the datastream. I was thinking of that quite a bit during Iron Man.)

But Bridges is not alone -- He's matched here every step of the way by Robert Downey, Jr., who's both a brilliantly unconventional superhero and a note-perfect Tony Stark (indeed, so much so that my brother tells me the recent Ultimate reboot has basically ret-conned Stark into Downey, Jr.) It's really hard to imagine any other actor in the role, or anyone else working as well. In fact, as with Batman Begins (give or take Katie Holmes), Iron Man is basically overstocked with talent at every position, from Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts (Stark's Moneypenny) to director Favreau as Happy Hogan (Stark's Foggy Nelson) to Clark Gregg (In Good Company) as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (although not that one -- he comes later.) I mean, when you've got Paul Bettany playing the voice of the computer (also a nod to Jarvis, Stark's Alfred), you know you're working with an embarrassment of riches.

If Iron Man has a problem, it's that, despite the prodigious talent on display, the movie is still somewhat hampered by the now-rote conventions of the origin-movie genre. I mean, I'm definitely of the fanboy temperament, but even I grew ever-so-slightly bored as Iron Man moved us through the usual paces (the awakening moment, the learning to use the new powers, the big reveal of the new suit, the final mano a mano, etc.)

Still, Favreau and Downey leaven these moments as best they can, and -- as you might've guessed from Lebowski, above -- there're plenty of knowing winks throughout to keep the base happy. (Like I said, I'm pretty unfamiliar with Iron Man canon, but even I could figure out the nods to War Machine and the Mandarin.) In short, if you allow for the constraints of the genre, Iron Man is basically everything you'd want in a summer-y superhero blockbuster. And if they bring Downey et al back for the sequel, I'd definitely look forward to seeing Iron Man live again.

A fanboy programming note: If you're like me and the many others celebrating May Day (and the unofficial start of summer) tonight by reveling in the adventures of a dissolute American weapons manufacturer, don't forget to stay until after the credits...

Indiana is May 6. Indiana Jones is May 22. And, while WB's cadre of lawyers try to lock down various versions of the Dark Knight trailer, the new Kramerized Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer has also popped up online. I'm still of 2 minds about Indy 4. It could be a great throwback, it could be Attack of the Clones...but at least we only have to wait a few weeks to know the score. (In fact, Indy IV will close out four weeks of Fanboy May(hem), beginning tomorrow with Iron Man, followed by Speed Racer (5/9) and Prince Caspian (5/16).

Regarding much-anticipated projects further down the pike, Guillermo del Toro has been confirmed for The Hobbit, as has Ian McKellen. "'Yes, it’s true,' he said. 'I spoke to Guillermo in the very room that Peter Jackson offered me the part and he confirmed that I would be reprising the role. Obviously, it’s not a part that you turn down, I loved playing Gandalf.'" I'm obviously hugely excited for this project, but, still...that second filler movie attached to The Hobbit sounds like it could end up being a colossally bad idea.

Update: Also out today, Edward Norton wrestles with the angry, powerful alpha male inside him in the new trailer for Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk. Pfff...Tyler could still take him in a fight.

By way of Bitten Tongue, the Onion reports on the questionable decision by Paramount to make a movie based on the Iron Man trailer. It's funny because it's true...just remember how the film made from this preview turned out. (By the way, one scene they'll be shoehorning in that surprisingly solid Iron Man trailer: two minutes of Robert Downey Jr. getting cute with repulsorlifts. Um, ok.)

Hulk smash? Or does Hulk whine for two hours about his condition like last time? The rather underwhelming teaser for Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk is now online. (I had hopes for Norton, but it looks like, if anyone saves this film from summer mediocrity, it'll be Tim Roth.) Meanwhile, Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts, Deathly Hallows, has been split into two films, both directed by Order's David Yates and coming out in 2010 and 2011 respectively. If it's at all like the book, I guess there was just too much camping in the English countryside to fit in one film.

Robert Downey, Jr. suits up to face Obadiah Stane (a.k.a. the Bald Lebowski) in a spiffy all-new trailer for Jon Favreau's Iron Man. As with the two previous teasers, this looks surprisingly enjoyable, and may hopefully end up being Marvel's best product since Spiderman 2 and X2.

"'Harvey Dent is a tragic figure, and his story is the backbone of this film,' says Christopher Nolan...'The Joker, he sort of cuts through the film -- he's got no story arc, he's just a force of nature tearing through. Heath has given an amazing performance in the role, it's really extraordinary.'" With the next Democratic debate tonight at 9pm EST on MSNBC, one that will hopefully help defuse the tone of the past few days, now seems as good a time as any to check on the big box office rivalry of the summer, Batman v. Indy. (Well, and the forgotten man, Iron Man.) Last we checked, the Jones camp had suggested Bruce Wayne was too wealthy and privileged to understand ordinary people's concerns, while Batman surrogate Alfred told The Daily Planet's Clark Kent that Jones was too "pointy-headed and academic" to save anyone but upscale, overeducated professionals. (The missed rejoinder: The Batman camp is calling people pointy-headed?) Also, scurrilous rumors abound that Shia LaBoeuf was added to the Indy ticket merely to siphon the youth vote away from Batman's running mate, Dick Grayson...Yep, it's getting ugly, folks.

Anyway, as the quote above attests, Dark Knight director Chris Nolan recently checked in briefly with the L.A. Times about his two main villains: "Don't expect a lot laughs in this summer's return to the cave. 'It's a dark and complex story,' Nolan said, 'and the villains are dark and complex as well.'" Meanwhile, on the Spielberg side of things, we have this new still from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. (Note Ray Winstone lurking in the corner.)

"I can't keep doing this on my own...with these people." Making it online of late, a new domestic trailer for Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood, and a new international teaser for Jon Favreau's Iron Man. (The original clips are here and here.)

In Marvel news, the the teaser for Jon Favreau's take on Iron Man, with Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terence Howard, and Jeff Bridges, is now officially online. (Basically, it's a shortened version of the Comicon clip.) And has Matthew Vaughn found his Thor in Kevin McKidd of HBO's Rome and Trainspotting? Possibly maybe...if so, that's not half-bad.

Also from Comic-Con, director Jon Favreau reveals an extensive (You-tubed) trailer for Iron Man. I've never been a huge fan of the comic, to be honest, but this looks much better than I anticipated (and the cast -- Robert Downey, Jr., Terence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges -- is solid regardless.)

Also, some casting news that emerged on the eve of Comic-Con: First, the Watchmen cast is now official -- yes, it's finally happening -- and it is as rumored (along with Jeffrey Dean Morgan of Grey's Anatomy -- um, ok -- as The Comedian.) And, for the trekkies out there, it seems Matthew Quinto, a.k.a. Heroes Big Bad Sylar, has been cast as Starfleet Academy-era Spock for J.J. Abrams' Trek movie. (Also, strange to discover from this article that Abrams and Greg Grunberg, the mind-reading cop of Heroes, are childhood best friends.) Now, Quinto is a good physical match...a highly logical choice. But Sam Rockwell as James T. Kirk? That's genius. (Spock pic not official -- I found it here.) Update: Another casting note: Tim Blake Nelson joins Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk revamp as Dr. Samuel Sterns (a.k.a. The Leader), further swelling an already ridiculously tricked-out cast for a remake of a movie made less than five years ago. But, hey, gift horses and all that.

In Marvel comic-to-film news, William Hurt joins Louis Letterier's increasingly-stacked The Incredible Hulk as Gen. Thad "Thunderbolt" Ross. (The movie, it may be remembered, already stars Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, and Tim Roth.) And, also rumored to be in the works: a Silver Surfer film written by J. Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 (Will the character have any life in him after FF2 this weekend? I somehow doubt it) and a Thor film directed by Matthew Vaughan of Layer Cake and Stardust. (Ooh...can we get Beta Ray Bill?)

Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3, which I saw a week ago, before this recent illness descended in earnest, is -- as you likely already know -- a disappointment. Both undercooked and overstuffed, it oftens feels like a Sequel-By-Numbers, the creation of a boardroom of comic-book-ignorant Sony suits who sat down and watched the splendid Spiderman 2, brainstormed for two hours about what its main selling points were, and tried to add 20% more of each to Spidey 3. The end result, as Joseph II might say, has too many notes. There occasionally seems to be a decent, heartfelt Sam Raimi Spidey foray struggling to get out in here somewhere, but it's mostly wrapped up and powerless against the black suit of the corporate bottom line. I highly doubt this film will be the end of Spiderman, after that outrageous opening weekend take, but it does sadly suggest that it may be time for Raimi & co. to escape Spidey's web and take a break from the franchise.

In true comic-book fashion, Spiderman 3 begins basically where the last installment left off, with Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, both of whom seem bored) in love, his secret identity out to her. But, just as our friendly neighborhood webslinger begins to contemplate wedding bells in his future, a slew of supervillains rise up to disturb Spidey's domestic peace: The Green Goblin II (James Franco, putting in his best work of the series), who's also aware of Spidey's identity and is out to avenge his father's death; The Sandman (Thomas Haden Church, good with what he's given), who's out to find his daughter some quality affordable health care (good luck! Even fantasy has limits); and, most troubling, Venom (ultimately, Topher Grace, a likable actor that sadly doesn't work here), an oozing alien symbiote that first draws out Spiderman's dark side before congealing with his biggest rival at the Daily Bugle, photoshop expert Eddie Brock. Eventually, Spidey must find a way not only to beat back this rogues' gallery before doom befalls Ms. Watson high above Manhattan, but also come to terms with his darkest impulses, grapple with his deepfelt desire to cut a rug in a jazz club, and make Mary Jane feel important and special despite her withholding secrets from Peter most of the movie for unexplainable reasons. Can he pull it off, Spider-fans?

Maybe so, but the movie sure can't. If that litany of villains put you in mind of the later installments of the Batman franchise, Batman Forever or Batman and Robin, you're in the right ballpark. Basically, Raimi has too many balls in the air this time around (I haven't even mentioned Gwen Stacey, who's also in here for some reason), and the film just can't do justice to all of them. The Sandman in particular is given short shrift -- much time is devoted to giving him a backstory, but it gets dropped halfway through and never amounts to much. Meanwhile, other important plot points, such as how Spidey's enemies decide to gang up on him, are handled perfunctorily, apparently to make room for more wet blanket Mary Janeisms or badly-conceived comedy involving J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons). By the end of the film, when Harry Osborne's butler becomes Basil Exposition and Spiderman runs around without a mask in front of hundreds of cameras, the carelessness taken with this installment of the franchise becomes manifest. Raimi would likely have done better to leave Venom out of this episode and saved him for the next one (and, indeed, circumstantial evidence suggests that Venom was foisted on him by Sony -- Raimi wanted the Vulture.) As it is, though, Spiderman 3 is a swing-and-a-miss -- not as bad as X3, mind you, but definitely the worst outing thus far in the Spidey franchise. 'Nuff said.

I have to say, I continue to be completely thrown by what's emerging from Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk do-over. Now joining Ed Norton as Bruce Banner are Liv Tyler as the love interest (Betty Ross, a.k.a. Jennifer Connelly in the Ang Lee version) and, more interestingly, Tim Roth as the villain, Emil Blonsky a.k.a. Abomination. Norton v. Roth in a chew-and-smash-the-scenery contest? That should be great fun.

"'This is a decidedly adult superhero story,' says Favreau. (Fanboy FYI: Look for Stark's legendary drinking problem to pop up in possible sequels.)" Entertainment Weekly gets an exclusive first look at Iron Man's armor (as, in the red-and-gold suit, not the early prototype.) And, also in Marvel-to-film news, the new trailer for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer premieres online. Nope, still not feeling it.

Even after Tyler Durden, apparently, he still has rage issues: Edward Norton signs up to play Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk. Interesting -- I was expecting this movie, coming so soon after Ang Lee's botch, to be basically a straight-to-video do-over. But Norton's presence is, without a doubt, an X-factor, and now I'm actually intrigued by it.

Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? AICN obtains the first picture of Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man, in the original gray suit.

Trailers I've missed lately: John McLean goes up against Seth Bullock, with Kevin Smith and Mac Guy along for pained comic relief, in the new trailer for Live Free and Die Hard (which I caught with Grindhouse last Friday -- review forthcoming), and Topher Grace prays for vengeance in the impressive final trailer for Spiderman 3.

Venom (Topher Grace) comes to the fore in the final, very spoilerish, and Comcastic trailer for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 -- really, it seems like more of an executive summary than a preview. And, also up this weekend is the trailer for Matthew Vaughn's version of Neil Gaiman's Stardust, featuring, among others, Charlie Cox, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro, Ricky Gervais, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, Ian McKellen, and Peter O'Toole. Not a bad cast, that, and with Layer Cake's Vaughn at the helm, I'll go see it, even if this trailer is a mite underwhelming.

It's official: Maggie Gyllenhaal takes Katie Holmes' place in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. And, with Tobey Maguire appearing to beg off any future webslinger installments after Spidey 3, the door is now wide open for Maggie's brother Jake...

Steely blue eyes (with no love in them) scan the world no more: The powers-that-be at Marvel kill off Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, who apparently gets shot down on the courthouse steps. "'He hasn't been living in the modern world and the world does move," says Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada." But has the good Captain joined Bucky...or will the Bucky clause take effect?

As you may have seen during last night's Heroes (a show which has certainly hit a stride of some kind in the past few episodes -- it's gone from low-grade cheesy fun to being genuinely surprising at times, and it -- and Sundance's Slings and Arrows -- are now don't-erase Tivo staples), NBC.com is previewing seven minutes of Spiderman 3 until 9pm PST this evening, including Aunt May on memory lane, a knock-down, drag-out between Spidey and the Green Goblin II (Harry Osborne/James Franco), and our first official look at Venom.

Another wave of holiday trailers comes down the pike: Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez let their B-film freak flags fly (again) in the full trailer for Grindhouse, with Kurt Russell, Rose McGowan, and Freddy Rodriguez, among others; Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Chris Cooper, Jeremy Piven, and Richard Jenkins fight the war on terror in Saudi Arabia in this first look at Peter Berg's The Kingdom; and Shia la Boeuf and the US military run from metal toy-like things in the new preview for Michael Bay's Transformers (If you're interested, see also the pic of Optimus Prime here.) Word is the trailer for Fantastic Four 2 is also showing in theaters at the moment, although the only thing online right now is this rather meh image of the Silver Surfer...hopefully, they do a better job with Galactus. Update: The FF teaser is now up.

I'm talking about the man in the mirror...Two new posters for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 make it online, showcasing the Spidey-Venom duality.

The new Sandman-heavy trailer for Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3 is now online. To be honest, I think I preferred the teaser -- this one doesn't really grab me (and it seems to give away too many plot points.) Nevertheless, here it is.

Method casting? Robert Downey Jr. signs up as troubled alcoholic billionaire Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, for director Jon Favreau.

As most of y'all likely already know, this past weekend was Comic-Con 2006 in San Diego, which means an exceedingly large amount of news in the fanboy department. To wit:

Regarding perhaps the most anticipated comic-to-film property nearing post-production, Sam Raimi's Spiderman 3, the attending panel offered a number of new shots of the main characters, including an iconic poster of Thomas Haden Church as the Sandman and -- at right -- That 70s Show's Topher Grace, a.k.a. Venom, having a painful-looking first run-in with the black suit/symbiote.

Also in Marvel's wheelhouse, Jon Favreau premiered the teaser poster for his take on Iron Man, and confirmed the villain of his film, the Mandarin.

In other Marvel news, Louis Leterrier's Incredible Hulk has picked a villain, too, that being the Abomination.

On the DC side, Bryan Singer is looking to revisit Superman in 2009, even though the jury's still out on Superman Returns.

The inimitable Peter Jackson, via remote (and still not making The Hobbit) showed off a scene from his extended DVD version of King Kong (my love of the extended LotR versions notwithstanding, count me among those who thought Kong needed tightening more than anything else.)

Not Comic-Con news, per se, but worth mentioning here: Former Jedi Samuel Jackson and Hayden Christensen may reunite for the film version of Steven Gould's Jumper, a surprisingly solid little take on the hoary old teleportation meme, to be directed by Doug Liman of Swingers and The Bourne Identity.

J.J. Abrams of Lost, Alias, and M:I:III brought along a teaser poster for his Trek reboot, which, word has it, puts young Kirk (Matt Damon?) and Spock back at Starfleet Academy.

In other sci-fi television news, J. Michael Straczynski announced he'll be revisiting the world of Babylon 5, albeit in straight-to-video spinoffs.

Also regarding sci-fi on the telly, Battlestar Galactica's Ron Moore showed up to kick some more k-nowledge about BSG Season 3, due in October (which complement the recent spoilers here.)

And lots of other news, including Kurt Russell in Quentin Tarantino's half of Grindhouse, a look at Zack Snyder's 300, talk of the Star Wars spinoffs, teaser posters for Michael Bay's Transformers, and descriptions of clips from Neil Gaiman/Matthew Vaughn's Stardust. Yep, Comic-Con seems like good fun...perhaps I'll make it out someday.

In other comic-to-film news, Transporter director Louis Leterrier has been given the reins of The Incredible Hulk, which is apparently a re-do of Ang Lee's ill-conceived version of a few years ago. A solid choice, but given Marvel's recent non-Spidey track record (X3, FF, Blade 3, etc.), I can't say I'm very hopeful.

Coming Soon get their mitts on the new Spiderman 3 poster, which, it being lenticular, should look even better at your local multiplex.

Elsewhere, Michael Bay's big-budget version of The Transformers gets a teaser (hopefully the robots work better than the website), and Spiderman 3 gets spoiled rotten over at Dark Horizons -- Seriously, don't go if you don't want to know.

Also in the trailer bin, Venom gets his curtain call in the impressive and much-awaited new teaser for Spiderman 3, appearing in front of Superman Returns tomorrow. (A better Quicktime version is due later today) Update: Here it is!

AICN posts some pics from the big licensing show in NYC, which includes some impressive looking bears from The Golden Compass, as well as posters for Spiderman 3, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (apparently, the '70's hair is out), Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda, and (gulp) Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer.

"We can't win this militarily. It can only be won politically; it can only be won diplomatically and internationally...And you've got to listen to realism and what the public wants in the United States." Hopefully (but not likely) heeding John Murtha's words, Dubya's Iraq team retreats to Camp David for a strategy pow-wow. By the way, is it just me or does the "Interagency Team on Iraq" look suspiciously like the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants?

Mutie alert: Despite a few all-too-brief glimpses of a better (or at least more enjoyable) movie scattered therein, Brett Ratner's X3: The Last Stand is, as the fanboy nation suspected, a truly terrible film. In fact, with the possible exception of Ian McKellen hamming his way through Magneto, it's hard to think of anyone who brought above their C-game to this woeful project -- the directing is workmanlike, the effects look cheap, the shots have that Canadian backlot look to them, the score is hamhanded and distracting, the actors seem bored, and, worst of all, the script is flat-out embarrassing. What's more, if you harbor any affection for the comic (and particularly the Dark Phoenix arc ostensibly in play here, although it's been cross-wired with Joss Whedon's early run), you'll probably just leave irritated. In short, X3 is just the type of lowest-common-denominator, dumbed-down rush job that gives both summer movies and comic movies a bad name: Think Fantastic Four.

Compounding the aggravation, X3 seems like it might turn out reasonably decent for the first ten minutes or so. The film begins with two flashbacks: The more interesting one, although it steals much of its subtext from Raimi's Spiderman, involves a teenage Angel trying to clip his wings (the other features not-quite-ready-for-primetime de-aging CGI.) But then we're thrust into a really clunky Danger Room sequence, involving Sentinels that have all the terrible grandeur of an industrial-strength flashlight and a Corman-esque Colossus that screams straight-to-video. (Apparently, the Danger Room was built in Professor Xavier's Bargain Basement.) And, from there, it's just down, down down. As it turns out, Worthington industries (run by Michael Murphy of Tanner), with the acquiescence of the President (a man who's prone to looking into the camera and exclaiming "God...help...us." whenever needed) has, as per Whedon, created a "cure" for mutants, prompting outrage (Storm, Halle Berry), confusion (Beast, Kelsey Grammar), relief (Rogue, Anna Paquin), and righteous megalomania (Magneto, McKellen) among the varied facets of mutantkind. Meanwhile, as tensions mount and the timely metaphors fly thick, a bedraggled Cyclops (James Marsden) ventures out to Alkali Lake -- site of the climax of X2 -- where he, surprisingly, encounters Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) alive and well. Ok, maybe not well...

As you can see, X3 is playing with at least two quality story arcs out of the X-Men canon here, so you'd think it'd just have to ride them through. But, alas, screenwriters Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn -- who, make no bones about it, deserve the lion's share of blame for this drek -- go crazier than Chris Claremont in his post-Mutant Massacre burnout phase. (Speaking of mutant massacres, no less than [Major Movie-Ruining Spoiler] SIX major characters -- Cyclops, Xavier, Mystique, Magneto, Jean Grey, Rogue -- are eliminated by the end of this flick, which, even given the lax standards one must accord this universe, seems both ridiculously brutal and exceedingly lazy writing.) Virtually everybody here -- and particularly Xavier and Magneto -- has at least one speech, quip, or action that seems totally out-of-character. (For her part, Halle Berry plays Storm as if she were Halle Berry.) Neither the good guys nor bad guys' plans make one lick of sense. And, even despite all the X-Men on hand here, the film is overflowing with undifferentiated throwaway characters who all look and act like tattoo-riddled redshirts.

By the way, did I mention this film looks cheap? Oh, hell yes. Beast looks like a cross between a Metallica roadie and an alien on a Sci-Fi channel miniseries. Dark Phoenix -- who, by the way, not once exhibits a phoenix flame -- instead occasionally unleashes the terrifying cosmic force of scrubbly bubbles (a la the distintegrating vampires in Blade.) And the wire-fu...oof, it's just plain sad. So, is there anything good here? Well, very briefly, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones), Madrox (Eric Dane), Moira (Olivia Williams)...that's about it, and it all totals about ten minutes of screen time. In short, after the surprisingly delectable heights of Bryan Singer's X2 (Nightcrawler in the White House, Magneto's escape), this film is at best a tremendous disappointment, and at worst an insult to the fan base. If this and FF is how Avi Arad and Marvel have decided to treat their best (non-Spiderman) properties from now herein, make mine DC.

Son, you've got a flamin' panty on your head...The new teaser for Ghost Rider, starring Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze (along with Sam Elliot, Eva Mendes, Donal Logue, and Wes Bentley), is now online. Never been a fan of the comic -- it's always screamed Blue Oyster Cult to me -- so I highly doubt I was going to catch this anyway. Still, this trailer didn't help matters.

Today's trailers: Crockett & Tubbs reunite as Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx respectively in the full trailer for Michael Mann's film version of Miami Vice (This isn't much of an improvement on the teaser, frankly.) And, Dell offers seven minutes of clips from X3: The Last Stand, of which all but 90 seconds or so (thanks to Ian McKellen, who's clearly at home scenery-chewing his way through this badly-written drek) looks and sounds cringeworthy. From this, it seems the real problem with X3 may be less Ratner than the so-far really clunky script by Simon Kinberg & Zak Penn.

According to several reports, the Silver Surfer will show up in Fantastic Four 2. That, of course, probably means Galactus...which would be cause for fanboy rejoicing, were it not for how badly Victor Von Doom came out in the first one.

Among a slew of recent announcements, including the writers of Thor (Mark Protosevich of Poseidon), Captain America (David Self of Thirteen Days), Nick Fury (Andrew Marlowe of Air Force One), and Hulk-2 (Zak Penn of, sigh, X3 and FF) -- as well as official word on Edgar Wright's Ant-Man -- Marvel's Avi Arad says John Favreau will helm Iron Man.

"This is about camaraderie. It's about teamwork, but most of all it's about history. It's really about knowing your roots. I mean, kids today, they're reading about Wolverine's clone sister. What the hell is that about?" The Secret Wars Re-Enactment Society (By way of Do You Feel Loved?) For old-school comic fans, this is worth seeing for the Kang and Ultron costumes alone. (And, as Chris noted, the payoff is pretty funny too.)

The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters, with a handy graphic of who's a member of what "legion." The site also includes impressively detailed individual entries on each character -- not only the big guns like Methodist Superman, Episcopal Batman, Catholic Daredevil, and Buddhist Wolverine, but also everyone from Presbyterian Wolfsbane to the Mormon Power Pack. (Via Triptych Cryptic.)

In today's movie bin, the full trailer for Brett Ratner's X3: The Last Stand shows up online. Hmm, I'm still not feeling it. To quote an AICN talkbacker, "Too much wire fu makes Homer go something something"...although I did kinda dig the scene with Juggernaut chasing Kitty Pryde. (Insert your own I'm the Juggernaut, b***ch joke if you'd like.) Also out today is the new Japanese M:I:III trailer, now with considerably less Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Superhero Hype! procures an impressive new pic from Spiderman III, and it's official: Peter Parker is donning the black garb...which means the long-swirling rumors that Topher Grace is playing Venom seem to be on the money. Hmmm. Even with the Sandman involved, I'd have preferred to see more of Spidey's classic rogues' gallery before Raimi & co. got to the peeved symbiote in question. Update: As a keen-eyed AICN fanboy noted, is Parker asleep in this pic? That'd dovetail nicely with the comics, when, pre-Venom, the costume started getting a mind of its own.

Six new one-sheets from X3: The Last Stand make the rounds (as do a few new stills) and, hoo boy -- Let's just say that they're not going to thwart the negative energy surrounding the project ever since Ratner came on board. Will this be the X-Men's Batman and Robin?

Another Superbowl has come and gone (Congrats to the Steelers, some of the calls notwithstanding), and -- while I personallly preferred the FedEx cavemen and Hummer monsters -- some new movie ads were scattered throughout the game, including new looks at V for Vendetta, MI:III, Poseidon, and Pirates of the Caribbean. (And, also in movie news, the increasingly over-stuffed Spiderman 3 picks up another marquee name with James Cromwell as Capt. Stacy, Gwen's father.)

Clone Wars and Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky will helm The Power of the Dark Crystal. And, in other fanboy news, Bryce Dallas Howard shows off the Gwen Stacey tresses while promoting Manderlay, and Dark Horizons obtains a pretty large spoiler about James Franco's role in Spiderman 3.

Curiouser and curiouser...The Village's Bryce Dallas Howard joins Spiderman 3 as none other than Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker's doomed childhood sweetheart. I find this somewhat strange, since they'd basically turned Kirsten Dunst's Mary Jane Watson into Gwen Stacy in the first film (#6). (Plus, they've switched hair-colors, but ah well.)

"There's no going back. From that moment on, the series' hero is in a morally untenable situation, and everything he does makes things worse. The only thing Murdock can do is to start lying, and make all of his allies lie for him, too...The second half of the Bendis-Maleev run fills in the gaps of the missing year bit by bit, and suggests what happens when a hero chooses to rule in hell (or its kitchen) rather than serve in heaven." Salon's Douglas Wolk sings the praises of Brian Bendis and Alex Maleev's work on Daredevil.

Want to see Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider? Are you sure? From over here, he's looking pretty straight-to-video. (Then again, Ghost Rider is a pretty straight-to-video character.)

From Beauty and the Beast to a Beast of a different color, USA Today posts some stills from X3, including one of Kelsey Grammar in costume. I for one never imagined Beast as an irate leprechaun. Update: The brand-new teaser for Ratner's X3: The Last Stand (Yep, that appears to be the title) is now online. Keep an eye out for Juggernaut and Callisto (also both in the official photo gallery), Dark Phoenix hangin' with Magneto's crew (the Brotherhood), and what looks to be a fastball special.

In other comic-film news, more X-Trouble on the horizon: In keeping with schlockmeister Brett Ratner's earlier-professed desire to sex up the X-Men, X3 adds two come-hither mutants: Mercedes Scelba-Shorte of America's Next Top Model as M/Monet St. Croix (from Generation X, which is after my time..they're the new New Mutants, I guess) and Ashley Hartman of The OC as Emma Frost, the White Queen (formerly a villain, until reconceived during the Grant Morrison run.) I guess this means we'll never get a full Hellfire Club X-film, which is particularly depressing after reading a fanboy dream-cast Deadwood's Ian McShane as Sebastian Shaw, the Black King, in the AICN talkback. That would've been ten kinds of perfect.

The first official pic of Thomas Haden Church in Spiderman 3 is released, and, sure enough, he's that candy-coated clown they call the Sandman.