I am not an animal…ok, maybe I am.

The border collie, a breed known primarily for its herding ability, was able to go to the room with the toys and, seven times out of 10, bring back the one he had not seen before. The dog seemingly understood that because he knew the names of all the other toys, the new one must be the one with the unfamiliar name.” New research suggests that dogs understand language quicker than we think. Duh…You should see how fast Berk learned the menu at KFC/Taco Bell.

Get your motor running.

They were up 6 with 40 seconds to go. They were up 6 with 40 seconds to go. I’ll admit, the last-minute Piston collapse in Game 2 has me distraught. Hopefully, Detroit rights the ship in tonight’s Game 3, because the thought of Kobe and the Lakers dancing around the Staples Center with another championship this year makes me ill. So I’ll stick with my pick – this series goes back to LA with Detroit up 3-2, and the Pistons win in 7. Please? Update: Ric Bucher, who to his credit picked Detroit from the start, makes a compelling case that the Lake Show are still the ones in trouble. Let’s hope so.

Prisoner of the Medium?


During my cable outage, I caught the long-awaited Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban last weekend, and as hoped, Alfonso Cuaron’s version of Hogwarts far outshines the staid and two-dimensional previous outings by Chris Columbus. Unlike Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban contains tons of small witty flourishes (the bus conductor, housekeeping, and the bald assistant, to name just a few in the first twenty minutes) that finally bring both magic and realism to Harry’s world. For once, Hogwarts seems like an actual boarding school where kids live, work, play, and goof around eating animal-noise chocolates, rather than just the largest blue-screen-equipped castle in the British Isles. And, unlike the first two, this movie feels cinematic – the camera swoops, cranes, and dollys like a camera should. Heck, even Quidditch was exciting this time.

But, despite the directorial skill on display here, Prisoner eventually runs aground on the inherent unfilmability of the source material. Rowling’s books are joys to read partly because they’re so episodic and incident-driven. But what works wonders in writing seems long and needlessly expository on film. For example, the scene where Wormtail is unmasked in the Shrieking Shack, great on the page, didn’t resonate at all here, even in spite of the prodigious talents of Spall, Thewlis, Oldman, Rickman, and the kids. (Although I’ll go ahead and say it – Gary Oldman seemed like a good idea as Sirius Black, but he’s miscast. He played it entirely too crazy at first, and never really warmed to Harry thereafter.) As a book the denouement of Prisoner was intriguing, but as a film, it feels like twenty-five minutes of a Back to the Future 2 retread. And, since certain crucial details from the book are missing (such as the origins of the Marauder’s Map), the movie paradoxically feels both too long and too abbreviated.

Not to end on so dour a note, there’s a lot to like here. Michael Gambon’s wry Dumbledore is a considerable improvement over the late Richard Harris, Robbie Coltrane finally looks appropriately huge as Hagrid, the Dementors are both creepy and un-Nazgulish, and all the adults acquit themselves well, particularly Emma Thompson as Trelawney. Plus, the kids have grown into the roles and, while they still can’t emote very well, they can churn out exposition like the best of ’em. Who knows? Perhaps I’m becoming muggle-hearted, but I spent much of the last ninety minutes of Cuaron’s otherwise splendid Prisoner of Azkaban counting off the remaining plot points that had to be explained. Still, given that Goblet of Fire is twice as long and is being headed by Mike Newell, who’s never made a movie that’s impressed me very much, this may just be the closest we get to capturing the spirit and magic of Harry Potter on film. Until then, I’ll be waiting for Book VI.

I, Sim.

Resident Evil Outbreak’s humans are realistic, but their facial expressions are so deadeningly weird they’re almost scarier than the actual zombies you’re fighting. The designers of 007: Everything or Nothing managed to take the adorable Shannon Elizabeth and render her as a walleyed replicant.Slate‘s Clive Thompson examines game developers’ struggles through the Uncanny Valley.

Prez Suicide, don’t do it!

Sweet steel! Come forth from out your sheath, And glist’ning, speak your powers; Rip up the organs of my breath, And draw my blood in showers!” Historians learn more about Abraham Lincoln’s Reznor period with the discovery of his long-rumored suicide poem, published in 1838 (when Abe was 29.)

Prisoners of Carrey, Gangs of LA.

Also missed during my own private blackout: New trailers for Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (Haven’t read the books, but know enough to know that this shouldn’t be such a Jim Carrey vehicle) and Martin Scorsese’s The Aviator (Looks intriguing, although the Old Hollywood stuff looks like more fun than the planes.)

1600 Pennsylvania’s Room 101.

I missed most of the recent discoveries about Dubya’s pro-torture policy changes during my cable outage, but Value Judgment has birddogged a nice Washington Post editorial that sums up the story so far. “There is no justification, legal or moral, for the judgments made by Mr. Bush’s political appointees at the Justice and Defense departments. Theirs is the logic of criminal regimes, of dictatorships around the world that sanction torture on grounds of ‘national security.’