Fan-Tastic 2009.

These are actually a weekend late now, and my knowledge of the league now that I’ve left New York (and thus haven’t been watching Knicks games) is at an all-time ebb. Then again, broadcasting uninformed opinions is pretty what much the Internet was created for, so, without further ado and as per tradition, some quick NBA playoff picks…

[2000|2001|2002|2003|2004|2005|2006|2007|2008]

The East

Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Detroit Pistons (8): As per the last few years, I still don’t think King James’ supporting cast quite matches up to the moment. (I like Mo Williams, but he’s no Scottie Pippen, and “Big Z” — Zyldrunas Ilgauskas — is definitely no Dennis Rodman.) That being said, Lebron is pretty much playing to his amazing potential and then some, and it’s clear that — while he may still be Jordan circa ’89-90 at the moment — his dynasty is right around the corner. Conversely, the Pistons look old, tired, and broken. Particularly without Allan Iverson on hand, they would seem to be in the shoes of the mid-00’s Kings: a former title contender now obviously in eclipse. Cavaliers in Five.

Boston Celtics (2) v. Chicago Bulls (7): The Game 1 upset was a certifiable coming-out party for all-around player and Rookie of the Year PG Derrick Rose. (The facet of his game that most needs work: post-game interviewing.) But, let’s remember: The Bulls won Game 1 because Paul Pierce uncharacteristically missed a clutch free throw. With Kevin Garnett reportedly out for the playoffs, I think Boston is dead in the water this year — it’s just a matter of time (And, to be honest, that’s fine with me. They deserve some horrible mojo after swooping up Stephon Marbury as they did.) But they’re still a better team than Chicago and, remember, they had trouble with Atlanta early on last year too. Boston in Seven.

(By the way, was anyone else annoyed with the dubious and oft-repeated stat that Chicago hadn’t beaten Boston in a playoff game since 1948? Uh, well that may partly be because the Celtics were atrocious from the time Larry Bird’s back gave out until Michael Jordan retired. It’s not like the Bulls are the Bobcats, Wizards, or some other legitimately underdog franchise.)

Orlando Magic (3) v. Philadelphia 76ers (6): I’m fond of Superman (Dwight Howard), but, for all the hype surrounding Orlando mid-season, blowing an 18-point lead at home against the lowly Sixers is not something a real title contender would do. And, in the one (nationally-televised) Knicks game I have caught recently, the Magic looked terrible. But I’m not a particularly big fan of this Sixers crew either, so I’ll give ’em the benefit of the doubt and say Orlando in Seven.

Atlanta Hawks (4) v. Miami Heat (5): To be honest, I don’t know the first thing about this iteration of the Hawks: I hadn’t seen ’em play until yesterday, and the last news I heard about their franchise was when Josh Childress went to Europe. But they looked pretty dominant yesterday, and they’ve got a proven clutch performer, Mike Bibby, running the point. So, even though the refs love them some D-Wade, I’ll go with Atlanta in Six.

The West

Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Utah Jazz (8): Always a tough call, for, as longtime readers well know, neither Kobe Bryant nor the Mormon church tend to be in my Fave 5. (And Carlos Boozer is his own case of bad mojo.) Still, the Lakers are deep, Kobe is an undeniable talent, and he’s got arguably the most underappreciated No. 2 in the league right now in Pau Gasol. I think, barring injury, this could very well be the Lakers’ year. In any case — sorry, Jerry Sloan — Deron Williams, Andre Kirilenko, & co. won’t stop ’em. Los Angeles in Four.

Denver Nuggets (2) v. New Orleans Hornets (7): This is one of those series where all my old intel isn’t of much use. Chris Paul and the Hornets looked deadly last post-season — exactly the type of team you didn’t want to run into early on. But I haven’t seen them play this year and don’t know if they’ve lost a step or if they’ve found a way to score when Chris Paul gets triple-teamed. Meanwhile, on paper Chauncey Billups running the Nuggets seems like a huge boon for them — he’s had experience managing hotheads (Kenyon Martin, meet Rasheed Wallace) and can successfully distribute shots among a bunch of players who all need the ball. But is he really enough to stop a George Karl team from choking early on? Given that they’re already one up, I’ll say Denver in Six.

San Antonio Spurs (3) v. Dallas Mavericks (6): With Ginobli out, the aging, injured Spurs got a spot of luck when they matched up against another fading West Coast giant, the Mavericks. I doubt the Spurs are good and/or healthy enough to get to the Conference Finals this year, but I don’t have much confidence in Dallas either. San Antonio in Seven.

Portland Trailblazers (4) v. Houston Rockets (5): I’ve gotten the impression from various sources that Portland is a much better team than they displayed in Game 1. And they’ve certainly got an impressive core of young talent in Roy, Aldridge, Oden, etc. (I kinda wish Channing Frye had continued to develop, but oh well.) Still, just by the law of averages, I think Yao et al are due to break out of the first round. (And there’s a certain irony that they’d finally get to do it after perennial loser T-Mac sorta checked out on them.) Houston in Seven.

[Hmm. With one exception, I picked the top seed every time again. Way to go out on a limb.]

The Rest

Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Atlanta Hawks (4): LeBron and the Cavs have pretty much been playing a higher-level of basketball than the rest of the East this year, particularly at home. And I think King James is too focused this year to screw things up in the second round. Cleveland in Five.

Boston Celtics (2) v. Orlando Magic (3): Like the Spurs-Mavs, I don’t have a lot of faith in either of these teams at the moment. But, while I had Boston winning this at first, I think I’m going to switch to the Magic. Perhaps the first round will work out the hiccups for Stan Van Gundy’s team, and — without Garnett on Boston — I’ll go with youth and energy over age and guile. Orlando in Seven.

Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Houston Rockets (5): I’m going to be rooting quite hard for Yao Ming and the Rockets here. But, as with the Cavs in the East, the Lakers are just operating at a different level right now. Los Angeles in Six.

Denver Nuggets (2) v. San Antonio Spurs (3): Unless they psychologically implode, and there’s always a chance of it with this combustible squad, I have to think Denver has enough weapons to take care of injury-ridden San Antonio. Denver in Five.

EAST FINALS: Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Orlando Magic (3): Third verse, same as the second and first. The Cavs are playing better ball that most everyone in the East at the moment, and James will not be denied. Cleveland in Five.

WEST FINALS: Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Denver Nuggets (2): With Phoenix, Dallas, and San Antonio on the way down, Denver now looks to be one of the premier contenders in the West. But, unless Carmelo has the type of break-out, monster playoff performance that many think he’s capable of but that we’ve yet to see, I don’t see this being all that close. Los Angeles in Five.

FINALS: Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Cleveland Cavaliers (1): If you read what’s come before, you may have noticed that I deemed this the Lakers year a few paragraphs ago. And that’s probably true — they’re hungry, they’re experienced, and I don’t see how Cleveland’s going to manage once Phil Jackson uncorks his own version of the Jordan rules on LeBron. But, I’ve gotten pretty far in life rooting against the Lake Show…so, no reason to stop now. Cleveland in Seven.

So, there you have it — Cleveland rocks. And, if they’re this good now, just wait until James get some legitimate help…I just hope it all happens on the Knickerbockers’ watch.

Clearing the Court for King James.

Following up on his stated intentions to free cap space and pave the way for acquiring LeBron James in 2010, Knicks GM Donnie Walsh pulls the trigger on two big trades, sending Zack Randolph (and trade-filler Mardy Collins) to the Clips for Tim Thomas and Cuttino Mobley (pending a heart issue) and Jamal Crawford to the Warriors for Al Harrington, all of which will be off the books during the crucial free agent season in question.

I guess it seems a bit distasteful to embrace so openly the hired-gun philosophy of winning a championship…but, hey, that’s the way the game is played. So, with that in mind, kudos to Walsh on a job well done (and good luck moving Stephon Marbury and Eddy Curry.) Besides, we Knicks fans have slogged through the past eight years since the cap- and karma-destroying trading of Patrick Ewing. At this point, we can probably eat another two.

Coney Island Low.

“One observer from yesterday’s workout noted the uneasy atmosphere among the other players. ‘You could just feel the hate,’ the person said.” It’s been rumored all summer, particularly since the Knicks acquired Bulls backup Chris Duhon. Now, according to the Daily News, the tortuous Marbury era in Madison Square Garden looks like it may be coming to an end this Friday. “Several persons with knowledge of the situation have indicated that the Knicks are planning to part ways with Marbury by the end of the week…The Knicks will likely place Marbury on waivers and, once he clears, begin negotiating a buyout. Marbury will then be free to sign with another team; the Miami Heat have a desperate need at point guard.

On one hand, getting nothing in return for a player like Marbury seems like a loss for the Knicks. Then again, with his massive contract, Stephon basically has little-to-no trade value — See also Zach Randolph. And if he’s as much of a locker room cancer at this point as this article suggests, we might as well just cut him and start the D’Antoni era fresh. So, so long, Stephon. And if you start actually playing to your long-heralded potential this coming season for Miami, I’m going to be very irate.

Update: “This thing is initiated in the press and then I have to ask questions about it,’ Walsh said, sounding somewhat perturbed. ‘I haven’t approached [Marbury] about a buyout.’” New GM Donnie Walsh says it’s not so.

D’Antoni goes Duhon.

“The chance for Chris to be a starter was too much to pass up.” The Knicks sign Bulls backup PG Chris Duhon to a 2-year deal, meaning that the “Starbury” Era at MSG looks to be on its way out. “Bradbury said the Knicks have made it clear that Duhon could start, which could mean that Stephon Marbury’s days with the Knicks are numbered. Marbury is in the final year of his contract.Update: Marbury talks the talk.

Marburied Hopes.

“‘Isiah has to start me,’ Marbury fumed, according to the source. ‘I’ve got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I’ll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know.‘” (Some choice suggestions on what Starbury knows in the comment thread here: I like “It was Isiah’s call to cancel Arrested Development” and “Isiah does not care about black people.“) Yep, the once-promising 2007-2008 Knickerbockers imploded early this year, with our overpaid, underachieving, untradeable “star” point guard Stephon Marbury leaving the team in a huff over coming off the bench — at the start of a tough four game road trip — and now threatening to expose Isiah Thomas’s dirty laundry (as if we didn’t get enough of that with this past summer’s sexual harrassment case.) How will the saga of the Traveling Marbury pan out? Will Stephon be handled with care or sent to the end of the line? Either way, I expect the Knicks to stay moribund so long as this PG, this GM, and this owner are running the show at the Garden. (NY Daily News and Deadspin links sent to me via Ben of The Oak, who also birddogged a great find last week with these graphical representations of hip-hop.) Update: The prodigal Knick returns to a loss in LA, but something’s still rotten at MSG.

Isiah 11.6.

“‘What I did here, I did for every working woman in America,’ said Browne Sanders, who came out of the courtroom beaming. ‘And that includes everyone who gets up and goes to work in the morning..” The NBA’s nightmare off-season continues with (just as during the regular season) a loss for the Knicks: A jury finds MSG, owner James Dolan, and Knicks coach Isiah Thomas guilty of sexual harassment and liable for $11.6 million in damages. The occasional Post headline screaming at me from the local deli notwithstanding, I haven’t been following all the twists and turns of this ugly case, other than that I heard Stephon Marbury somehow got caught up in it too for having consensual sex with a Garden employee. Regardless, this is a total embarrassment for the NBA and for New York basketball, and one hopes Commissioner Stern will crack down hard on Dolan & co. if MSG doesn’t clean house, and soon.

Court Vision.

Also concerning the NBA (and along the lines of this post last year), friend and colleague Ben of The Oak sent along this noteworthy article on which basketball players are contributing to what 2008 candidates. Supporting fan of the game Barack Obama: NY Knick Stephon Marbury, Shane Battier, Billy King, and Baron Davis. For Edwards (in the past): Charles Barkley, Mike D’Antoni, and Travis Best. For Clinton: many NBA owners, including Paul Allen and the Maloofs. For Mitt Romney: Celtic exec Danny Ainge. For the Dems in general: The Commish, David Stern.

As for the Knickerbockers…

Well, it was another lousy season…as has been the case since, oh, about 2000 now. In the end, this year’s 33-49 Knicks only garnered ten more wins than last year’s dismal Larry Brown experiment. And, worse, they never lived up to the glimmers of promise at the midterm, going 4-15 after Dolan’s woeful decision to extend Isiah’s contract for two years. True, much of that freefall can be attributed to injuries — Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, Quentin Richardson, and David Lee all went down for a stretch there. And, I will concede, this team does play hard for Isiah, as they never did for Larry Brown. But, even before the IR filled up, the Knicks were terrible on the defensive end. I can’t tell you how many games I watched this year where New York would be down by double digits in the first half thanks to lackadaisical D, make a gritty run in the fourth, and lose by a bucket. (And, for all of Eddy Curry’s improvement this year, the big fella still hasn’t learned to box out.) As opposed to last year’s obvious failure, I guess you could say these Knicks were comfortably mediocre. But, frankly, that’s not good enough. If we’re ever going to be a playoff contender again, we need to play both ends of the floor. And I’m not sure I see that happening with these players…or this coach.

But, this being sports, hope springs eternal. So…any of y’all other teams want to give up a solid defender for Steve Francis’s contract? Anyone? Anyone? We’ll throw in Jerome James while we’re at it…