Fanboy Cornucopia.

Thanks to ShoWest and otherwise, there’s been quite a bit of fanboy news to come down the pike in the past few days…

  • In the casting department, Parker Posey joined the legion of Superman as “Kitty Koslowski,” one of Lex Luthor’s minions. Hopefully, it’s a better villainess turn than in Blade: Trinity.
  • Not to be outdone by the son of Krypton, a spiffy new Batman Begins poster premieres online.
  • Rounding out the DC trifecta, Buffy mastermind Joss Whedon is signed to write and direct Wonder Woman.
  • On the Marvel end, AICN uncovers the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters’ new additions for X3…this time around will include Beast, Gambit, and a female Angel.
  • In the midst of the press junket for Woody Allen’s Melinda & Melinda, Chloe Sevigny inadvertently lets on that the Black Cat will likely complicate Peter Parker’s life in the next Spiderman.
  • Looking for direction (and cash flow) in the upcoming post-prequel era, George Lucas announces he’ll be re-releasing the OT in Cameron-style 3-D.
  • Ang Lee prepares to go back to the well with a prequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (I’ll take it over another Hulk.)
  • Among the recent new trailers is our first look at Michael Bay’s The Island, with Ewan MacGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Steve Buscemi, and Michael Clarke Duncan. I generally can’t stand Michael Bay films, but it is sci-fi and the cast isn’t bad.
  • The new Hitchhiker’s Guide site goes live, which includes this splendid shot of Arthur and Marvin enjoying (as much possible, given the terrible pain in all his diodes down his left side) an intergalactic sunset.
  • Finally, the very Independence Day-ish full trailer for War of the Worlds is out-and-about, which involves a lot of Tom Cruise running, Dakota Fanning crying, and random things detonating. Is Spielberg trying to out-Bay Bay?
  • Captain Kinsey and the Phantom’s Treasure.

    Several new trailers have emerged since the last update around here: Along with a new look at Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (looks bluescreen-ish, to be sure), Liam Neeson channels Alfred Kinsey, Joel “I tanked the Batman franchise” Schumacher goes after Phantom of the Opera, and Nicolas Cage, Sean Bean, and Helen of Troy undertake a search for political booty in National Treasure. Of these new three, I might pay money to see Kinsey.

    Freaks and Greeks.

    Well, with Wolfgang Petersen, Tyler Durden, Eric Bana, Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson, and Sean Bean, among others, I had high hopes beforehand that Troy would be the gem of this summer movie season, a film that built on LotR‘s recent success in using solid ensemble acting and state-of-the-art technology to bring classic works of epic literature to the screen as never before. Alas, those hopes have been dashed on the plains of battle like so many CGI Greeks. To be fair, though, Troy may not be one for the ages — in fact, it’s probably only a very small step above the Gladiator movies frequented by Captain Peter Graves in Airplane! — but I’d say it’s still a reasonably entertaining two and a half hours, as summer movies go, and a far cry better than last week’s monstrous Van Helsing, once you lower your expectations suitably.

    I only knew the Edith Hamilton cliffnotes-version of the The Iliad coming into Troy (I know, I know, it’s on my summer reading list), so the many changes to the story, such as the fates of Menelaus and Agamemnon, the removal of the Gods, or the addition of the equestrian ending, honestly didn’t weigh on me all that much. Still, I knew enough to find myself waiting for the next shoe to drop through almost every scene of this almost three-hour movie, which I’d say reflects pretty badly on the film here. It’s well-made, to be sure, and it’s got great production values, although even I’m starting to sour on ridiculously-large-CGI-army fighting at this point (I think you hear me knocking, King Arthur.) One would think that a movie based on The Iliad should be at least somewhat enthralling, but I found myself detached and slightly distracted during much of the film. More than anything else, give or take the occasional monologue or well-executed mano a mano, Troy just felt long.

    Is it the actors’ fault? No, I don’t think so…more the wooden dialogue. Still, the acting is hit or miss. Brad Pitt tries hard here, but frankly he could make 100 more movies and he’d still always remind me of Tyler Durden now. Similarly, it’s hard not to think of Legolas when Orlando Bloom, mostly convincing as pretty-boy Paris, starts showing off the archery skills again. As Agamemnon, Brian Cox is more hammy and over the top here than he was in The Ring and X2 combined – it’s like he’s channeling Anthony Hopkins in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. On the opposing side, Peter O’Toole adds a touch of class as King Priam of Troy, although with his goofy mane, gaunt cheekbones, and still-piercing blue eyes, I spent most of the movie remarking to myself his now-eerie resemblance to Berkeley. And Brendan Gleeson and Sean Bean, Menelaus and Odysseus respectively, don’t have all that much to do (pending the sequel, of course.) As it turns out, the standout performance turns out to be Eric Bana, who, despite having an Aussie accent quite unlike that of his brother Paris, shows much more personality and verve here than he did in The Hulk or Black Hawk Down. (Hector’s still no Chopper, though.)

    In sum, Troy is a decent summer movie, I guess…probably more worth seeing than any other studio flick this side of Eternal Sunshine. But, given the quality of the source material and the money being spent here, it really had the potential to be a good deal more than just an intermittently engaging sword-and-sandal flick. That it’s not feels like a letdown, no matter how Troy works as two hours of escapism. So, as Homer himself might’ve put it, “D’oh!”

    My Ringdom for a Horse.


    Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly…
    Reader Jenny from NH passes along this series of pics from Troy (mirrored here), which includes this shot of Sean Bean as Odysseus (who’s been strangely missing from the trailers.) Along the same lines, some new King Arthur images are also up today, including this one of Arthur, Guenivere, and Lancelot (although word is the love triangle has been scrapped.)

    Chasing Helen.

    Online today is the new trailer for Troy, and it’s quite something. I generally like Brad Pitt, but right now he’s looking (well, sounding) like the only potential problem here. Still, each and every scene with Brendan Gleeson and Brian Cox should be scenery-chewing fun. And where’s Sean “Odysseus” Bean?

    Greeks and Geeks.

    As it turns out, one of the highlights of the Matrix experience was this very impressive teaser for Troy, starring Brad Pitt (Achilles), Eric Bana (Hector), Orlando Bloom (Paris), Diane Kruger (Helen), Sean Bean (Odysseus), Brendan Gleeson (Menelaus), Peter O’Toole (Priam),and Brian Cox (Agamemnon), among others. Also in coming attraction news, some official pics of HP and the Prisoner of Azkhaban make it online, including shots of Gary Oldman as Sirius Black and Michael Gambon as the new Dumbledore. Apparently the trailer of Azkhaban arrives in a week.

    Love, Sex, and Balance.

    I should’ve posted this yesterday, but forgot. Rather than see the fireworks last Friday, I decided to stay in and have a Blockbuster night. And, since I don’t feel like giving these films the full treatment at the moment, I’ll just say in passing that, despite attempting an open mind, I hated Punch Drunk Love (with the exception of the beautiful color fades.) I found it self-consciously arty and pretentious in true P.T.A fashion (Oooh, harmonium = love), and Emily Watson was a complete cipher throughout. Adam Sandler made the best of a bad hand, but I’ll still take Happy Gilmore over this any day of the week. Equilibrium, starring Christian Bale, Sean Bean, Taye Diggs, and Emily Watson again, was cheesy C-grade sci-fi fun in a Dr. Who kinda way despite having the most implausible fight sequences since Gymkata. And Roger Dodger started out well enough, but I eventually became bored with Campbell Scott’s character. The opportunities for telling LaBute-like satire were rich, but instead we find out that all Roger needed was his lost innocence? What a waste of a good setup. Still, there’s some nice character work here, so I’d say Roger Dodger is a moderately enjoyable rental.

    Sons of Gondor.

    USA Today takes a peek at the Two Towers extended edition, and it sounds like Boromir, Denethor, Theodred and Treebeard benefit the most. Also, we’re apparently granted a fuller picture of Faramir’s backstory, which may help to dispel some of the fanboy negativity about his gruff portrayal in the film. Is it November yet?