I’m Coming Back for You, Depp.

Why are you screamin’? I haven’t even cut you yet.” Speaking of dreaming, AICN passes along the second trailer for the Nightmare on Elm Street revamp, with a very Jackie Earle Haley-sounding Freddy Krueger and lots of pretty teenage insomniacs to work through.

Hmmm…well, the production values look great, I’ll give it that. But all signs (and particularly the ones that read “Michael Bay” and “Platinum Dunes”) suggest this will be another needless and thoroughly schlocky remake of a horror classic. I’m posting the trailer here only because I feel like i owe it to the original film, which scared the bejeezus out of me as a kid.

Despair Under the Elms.

Growing ever more disaffected and anti-social, Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) trades in the inkblot mask for a stripey sweater (he’s kept the fedora, tho’) in the new teaser for Platinum Dune’s forthcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

The original Nightmare was one of the cornerstone scary movies of my youth, but I’m not seeing much to recommend this one yet. And I definitely wish they’d gone more dream-surreal with it and skipped over the goofy Hannibal Rising-style backstory.

Wanna see something really scary?

In the spirit of impending Halloween, Max of Lots of Co. links to two lists of the top ten scariest movie moments of all time (and there’s a longer 100-moment countdown here.) My own list would almost assuredly be topped by the Grady sisters from The Shining…Those two little British hellions were representing for Evil long before The Ring/Ringu‘s Samara ever got near a VCR. I also would include the Room 217/237 scene and even the opening moments – when the camera ominously follows the Torrances’ car winding through the mountains from a Cthulu’s eye view (spoofed so well in Treehouse of Horror VI.) In fact, when it comes to The Shining for me, it’s a bit like those Coors Light commercials: “I’m scared! Of bars open at all hours! Old corpse in the shower! Jack’s insane glower! And, and…and TWINS!”

Regarding other films, though, I think the first, pre-franchise Nightmare on Elm Street has some really frightening scenes — including the shots of Freddy stretching through the bedroom wall and walking with the impossibly long arms. The final scene of Carrie scarred me for years, the final scene of The Vanishing (Dutch version) gives me pause, the last moments of The Incredible Shrinking Man makes me wonder about it all, and the final scene of Prince of Darkness engenders a very uneasy feeling around mirrors. (John Carpenter’s The Thing is also a great scary/gory remake.) I thought the brief flashes of Captain Howdy in The Exorcist were pretty chilling, and of course there’s a number of awful moments in Alien, particularly involving Kane, Dallas, and Ash. The sequence in Twilight Zone: The Movie when the all-powerful kid banishes someone into cartoon world (and takes away his sister’s mouth) was so bizarre and unsettling that for years I’d thought I’d dreamt it. And I was extremely scared by Night of the Demon at a very early age (and to this day don’t take pieces of paper from strangers.)