Die Hard with an Ogre.

In the preview bin, the brand new teaser for Live Free or Die Hard (a.k.a. Die Hard 4) and the full trailer for Shrek the Third. I can’t see either on my current connection, so sorry if they’re terrible.

Slaughter, Infidelity, Donuts.

In the movie bin, Homer J. Simpson gets stuck between a rock (Iraq?) and a hard place in the trailer for The (long-awaited) Simpsons Movie; Edward Norton (brandishing a surprisingly lousy accent) and Naomi Watts struggle with a loveless marriage by way of W. Somerset Maugham in the trailer for The Painted Veil (also with Liev Schrieber, Toby Jones, and the always lovely Dame Diana Rigg); and Wilbur the pig picks up a “spin” doctor with a way with words in a new Internet-only teaser for Charlotte’s Web (Between Julia and Buscemi, it seems like the voice-work is going to be really distracting.)

Some Pig.

Paramount and Nickelodeon announce the voice talent for the forthcoming live-action Charlotte’s Web (a la Babe), and it’s an all-star cast, including Julia Roberts (Charlotte), Steve Buscemi (Templeton/Rat), John Cleese (Samuel/Sheep), Oprah Winfrey and Cedric the Entertainer (Gussy and Golly/Geese), Reba McEntire and Kathy Bates (Betsy and Bitsy/Cows), and Thomas Haden Church and Andre 3000 (Brooks and Benjamin/Crows). No word on who’s Wilbur yet, although the ubiquitous Dakota Fanning is Fern. I’ve always had a soft spot for Charlotte’s Web — it’s the first book I ever remember reading — so I expect I’ll probably check this out (even if Julia is the spider.)

Ogling the Ogres.

I was remiss in noting in my last update that I — like most of America — caught Shrek 2 over last weekend. Not much to say about it really…I thought it was as entertaining, eye-popping, and effervescent as the first outing, if ultimately somewhat insubstantial. I enjoyed myself while Shrek was on, then promptly forgot about it, but what more can you really expect?

Antonio Banderas as Puss-in-Boots (at left) was a quality pickup for the franchise, and I particularly liked the COPS takeoff and anything involving the blind mice. Still, if I have a beef with Shrek 2, it’s mainly that the movie wouldn’t stop trying to sell me the associated soundtrack of easy listening tunes and contemporary standards. Enough already! I prefer my fairy tale adventures without merchandising tie-ins…there’s only so many Versarchery, Farbucks and Old Knavery jokes one can make before the film feels complicit in the commercialism it’s sending up. But, that’s the ogre talking…All in all, Shrek 2 is 100 minutes of solid escapism, which is more than you can say for a lot of films so far this summer.