Caught Signs over the weekend, and, I must say, it was the worst movie I’ve paid money for in some time. (Ok, Reign of Fire wasn’t very good, but it never pretended to be anything but a B-movie…one look at Matthew McConaughey as Ahab/Kurtz could tell you that. Signs has delusions of grandeur.) I liked both Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, so was quite dismayed at how dismal this film turned out. It’s hard to go into the many problems with it without giving the movie away, so click to reveal any spoilerific information below (and sorry this post now looks like a letter out of Catch-22):
a) Let’s begin with the ending….if you’ve seen it, you know what I’m going to say, but c’mon…the water bit made absolutely no sense. Even aside from the fact that both this planet and its inhabitants are made up of mostly water, what were these aliens going to do if it rained? b) Why travel interstellar distances in state-of-the-art ships, cloak after everyone’s seen you, and then run around the planet comprised of 75% water stark-naked? c) Why was the alien fx so horribly bad? It gave me shivers about Gollum. d) Every one of the small-town folk came off as completely Hollywood-false, particularly the good-hearted sheriff and Basil Exposition, the “probing” army recruiting officer. e) Mel’s a preacher, Joaquin’s a down-and-out minor leaguer…who’s actually harvesting all that corn? f) The ridiculous foreshadowing of Mel’s crisis of faith – “Don’t call me father” over and over again. Which brings me to another problem with the ending: So all of these signs somehow do add up to cosmic design, such as the kid having asthma and the dead wife being savvy enough to tell Mel it might be a good idea to have Slugger go after the alien with a baseball bat…what does this mean about God? He’s a God of Humanity only, unconcerned with the fate of this poor water-hating, lousy-FX alien? I don’t buy it.
g) The kids…ugh, the ever-lovin’ kids. Too wise, too special, too obnoxious. h) The family scenes, and particularly the strange last dinner episode and both of the ill-timed disquisitions on childbirth…flat, bizarre, and wholly unrealistic. i) The television. You’d think after 9-11 it’d be much easier to create realistic looking “crisis television.” But every time they turned on the idiot box it was stilted, exposition time again, the Brazilian birthday party scene aside, one of the only legitimately scary and well-done sequences in the film. j) With the exception of the shiny knife under the pantry door (don’t get me started on why these aliens have so many issues with doors – this away team didn’t bring a phaser or an axe to their alien invasion?), almost all of the “Hitchcockian flourishes” seemed too consciously crafted, particularly both long scenes involving the flashlight. I think I liked it better when it was called “The Blair Witch Project.” Ok, enough dissing the film. Suffice to say, I don’t recommend it. Joaquin was very good, and to be honest Mel wasn’t bad either. I blame Shyamalan. (In happier news, I saw Sexy Beast on DVD last night and quite enjoyed it.)
Well, this sealed the deal for me. I hated the Sixth Sense (figured it out way too early) & Unbreakable was even worse. I had an interest in Signs, even with Shyamalan. I’ll pass. Thanks for the review!
You and I have disagreed over movies before — remember “Fight Club”?
I agree with your points, to a degree, especially the ending … but then again, all three of M. Night’s movies have had questionable or “trick” endings. But for me, I didn’t go into this movie to see “spooky” aliens running roughshod over the countryside as if it was the 2002 version of “War of the Worlds” and to be honest, I was disappointed when we actually saw one, because what you imagine them to be is ALWAY much more frightening then what they can put on-screen (excepting, of course the creatures from “Alien”). I didn’t come for the monsters, I came to get that trademark M. Night “surreal atmosphere.” I think his strength as a filmmaker lies in setting awesome moods and then carefully manipulating the audience’s expectations within those vapors. There were times in this flick when I was really creeped out.
Secondly, I think it was really a film about faith, one that asked the question “What do you believe in?” And I really felt Mel’s pain as he tried to figure that out.
Can’t speak for Signs (it’s a renter for me), but glad you saw and liked Sexy Beast–an odd but wildly entertaining film, no?
Well, Boycaught, I’ll concede that Shyamalan has got a great knack for atmospherics. While I thought most of ’em were hokey in this flick (for example, the whole baby monitor thing didn’t work for me at all, due to the bratty, too-wise kids running the show), two shots do stand out: the knife under the door, as I said before, and the long shot of the basement door after Joaquin has gone to check out the scene. That being said, the film still didn’t hang together for me…the plotting was terrible and, worse for Shyamalan, so were the characters. A classic case of a good writer/director buying into his own hype and overworking his stylo (*cough* DePalma). But, hey, as always we can agree to disagree. After all, I still stand by Fight Club. 😉
Yeah, Max, Sexy Beast was a lot of fun…I was expecting more of a Lock Stock knockoff and it wasn’t really that at all. Also loved the whole Spain vs. England bit, having just gotten back from Hawaii.
I like really freak monkeys that are naqvigated by the little pixies that steal your favourte socks, talking about socks did you know that the government is controlling your socks with radiowaves that makes your vote republican. Unless your winky is two inches two small but the TV does that so you would not even have to get off your ass… also Area 51 does not exist it is just a cover up it is actualy called Area American 69 that has little freak monkeys that are navigated by pixes… oh.. i already told you about the pixies oh well… also bill gates did not invent Windows Geroge Bush senoir invented it on the money for pot holes and the internet was created by the martains from Jupter and they made the Earth hollow before Humans existed and there is no God its just the Sun that rules over us… the Sun made the universe and Stars and not other Suns there are really lightbulbs that make pancakes for everyone on Mars… and no robots went to mars there sent them to the Australian outback…