Robots, Morlocks, Coffee Table Iguanas.

“And, worst of all, they’re eating all of our sand.” A whole lot of B-movie crazy in the most recent trailer bin: Astronauts Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid awaken from hibernation to fight off what would appear to be Morlocks in the final trailer for Christian Alvart’s Pandorum. (I originally thought this was going to be more of a “madness in deep space” psychological thriller. Now, it just looks bad.) Speaking of madness, Nicholas Cage returns to full-Vampires’ Kiss mode — and tries to out-Keitel Keitel — in the trailer for Werner Herzog(!)’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, also with Eva Mendes, Xzibit, and Val Kilmer. And hope of mankind John Conner (Christian Bale) tries to protect us all from a sinister invasion of robot toys in the clever mash-up trailer for Transforminators. It’s funny because it’s true.