Immigrant Song.

“If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government, then you are a Republican.” If you believe that rich people deserve tax breaks while the middle-class struggle harder and the poor send their kids to war, then you are a Republican. If you believe that cutting First Responder, Homeland Security, and Nunn-Lugar funding, lying bald-faced to our allies before the UN, letting Osama Bin Laden disappear into the caverns of Afghanistan, and contriving a casus belli to start a war in Iraq that has further alienated the moderate Muslim world is sound anti-terror strategy, then you are a Republican. If you believe an extramarital blow job is an impeachable offense, but dissembling to the American people about war is hunky-dory, then you are a Republican. If you believe God loves you, but He hates gays, liberals, and foreigners, then you are a Republican. If you’re an immigrant bodybuilder who made it to the top of his field through hard work, discipline, and the judicious application of enough steroids to kill a small horse, then you are a Republican. And if you’re a serial groper who was befuddled enough to think Nixon was a good idea in 1968 and who somehow earnestly believes that the GOP hasn’t moved much further right since the days of Tricky Dick, then you are Arnold Schwarzenegger.

One thought on “Immigrant Song.”

  1. You are a Republican if you believe that global warming is caused by flag burning.

    You are a Republican if you think tax breaks should go to the one half of one percent of the wealthiest while Congress votes itself a pay raise and fails to raise a minimum wage that has been stuck at $5.15 for nine years.

    You are a Republican if you believe that stem cell research is murder but don�t adopt any of the 400,00 frozen embryos that will be discarded.

    You are a Republican if you believe that withholding basic human rights from homosexuals will save the heterosexual America family.

    You are a Republican if you believe that 9/11 was caused by Saddam Hussein and Iraqis.

    You are a Republican if you believe that the bright line between church and state is no longer a basic tenant of democracy.

    You are a Republican if you believe that the federal executive should trump over the other two branches of government.

    You are a Republican if you believe that millions of children and elderly should have no health insurance while universal health insurance is the standard of every other western democracy.

    You are a Republican if you believe that building more prisons is the best answer to crime and drug use.

    You are a Republican if you believe that cheap Mexican labor justifies not controlling our borders.

    You are a Republican if you support rampant spending while Social Security is destined to disappear for our children.

    You are a Republican if you believe that America is better off today than it was five years ago.

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