Ghost in the Machine

Tant Pis, Henri.

“Although this is not yet confirmed, FIFA is expected to use a tried and tested formula for its finals draw for South Africa 2010. The system couples FIFA rankings with performances in the past two finals tournaments to create a group of eight seeds that also includes the hosts.“

With fans of Ireland still smarting after Thierry Henry’s egregious “Main de Dieu” handball last month, ESPN reviews the crop of futbol teams facing off in World Cup 2010. Here’s hoping the unseeded France ends up in this year’s Group of Death…and USA doesn’t!

Clough/Revie.

All’s fair in (bromantic) love, war, and English football in Tom Hooper’s (and Peter Morgan’s) peppy and entertaining The Damned United, a character study of fast-talking seventies soccer manager Brian Clough. (Apparently, his legendary yapping even once drew the ire of Muhammad Ali.) Like writer Peter Morgan’s earlier films — The Queen and Frost/Nixon, both also featuring Michael Sheen — The Damned United chronicles the fascinating back-story of a famous (at least in the Isles) television interview: In this case, the awkward 1974 meet-up between Clough and the man he despised and replaced, Don Revie.

Now, I would consider myself a casual soccer fan, but, going in, I had no sense at all of this tale. As a 5-6 year-old in England a few years after these events, I liked Kevin Keegan and Liverpool, mainly, I think, ’cause he was a superstar who had my name. And, when I heard this movie was called The Damned United, I originally presumed it referred to current Yankees-like powerhouse Manchester United, not Leeds, who, it turns out, was the premier squad of the early seventies. (To be honest, when I hear the word “Leeds,” I usually tend to think “they’ve got us working in shifts!”)

All of which is to say that you don’t need to know the history here, or even be all that interested in soccer, I don’t think, to get a kick out of The Damned United. (In fact, there probably should have been more football in this film — there’s really not much coverage of the actual games throughout.) Rather, like Morgan’s earlier movies, this is less a sports movie (if anything, it’s the anti-Hoosiers) than another tale of clashing personalities. And, like Morgan’s last two flicks, Michael Sheen delivers with another engrossing bit of mimicry. His Brian Clough carries some of the flash and dazzle of David Frost, but Sheen has also taken on some definite Nixonian qualities here: Tricky Dick was an American football fan, true, but Brian Clough here possesses the same chip-on-the-shoulder drive to avenge minor slights; the same blue-collar work ethic, and the same Orthogonian loathing of (Kennedy/soccer) elites.

That would make the Kennedy of this story Don Revie (Colm Meaney), the winning manager of the Leeds dynasty, much-beloved by his city and his players, who moves to shape up the dismal English team when national duty calls in 1974. Surprisingly, Clough — a bit of a dark horse candidate — is announced as Revie’s replacement…and promptly starts pissing his new bosses and players off by demeaning the Leeds legacy on the telly. (Like Nixon vis-a-vis Kennedy, Clough is convinced, probably correctly, that Revie and his team “won dirty.”) Basically, Clough is a smarmy self-satisfied egotist from his first day in the gig, and one starts to wonder why he was ever considered for this position — It’s abundantly clear that the Leeds players, captained by Stephen Graham of Snatch and Public Enemies, consider him a first-rate wanker.

Flash-back to 1968, when Clough and his right-hand man Peter Taylor (Timothy Spall) are coaching the lowly Derby County F.C, and the Chairman of their Club (Jim Broadbent) seems perfectly content with bottom-feeding in the second division. (In English soccer, the major and minor leagues are fungible — the worst teams in the “first division” go down to the “second division;” the best teams move up. It’s a kind of awesome idea that American sports should adopt immediately — The Knicks would kill in the NBADL.) But, after a chance draw — you wouldn’t call it a friendly — against the mighty Leeds United, and a perceived snub at the match, Clough becomes a man possessed. He will bring Don Revie and his squad of thugs back down to Earth…or at least drive everyone around him crazy in the trying.

The rest of the story plays out like Godfather II, basically, with Clough’s rise with Derby told against his fall with Leeds, culminating (like The Queen and F/N) in the televised Clough/Revie mano-a-mano. As with those earlier movies, there’s not a lot of suspense throughout, but it’s all in the telling. (And good job by Tom Hooper in so well evoking the northern England of 1968-74. This entire movie has the gritty, working-class seventies feel of any number of wry and excellent Kinks songs.) A strange subplot involving the long-term bromance between Clough and Taylor, his talented #2, felt overwrought and belabored to me, particularly in the closing moments. But otherwise, The Damned United is another solid and entertaining outing by the Peter Morgan-Michael Sheen team. Steady on, lads, steady on.

“A Miracle on Grass.”

“The stunning 2-0 victory by the United States over Spain — the best team in the world — is probably the greatest victory by the men’s national soccer team. And when you think of it, the victory Wednesday is probably the second-biggest upset by an American team, behind only the 1980 Miracle on Ice by the hockey team over the Soviet Union in the Olympics.” The NYT’s George Vecsey sings the praises of the surprising 2-0 US win over #1-ranked Spain yesterday in the Confederations Cup.

I happened to catch the entire game and, while Spain looked like the dominant team for most of the match (particularly the top of the second half, when they unleashed a barrage of quality shots on goal), USA definitely capitalized on their limited offensive opportunities — I thought goal No. 2, above, was particularly pretty.

Adieu Adu.

For MLS, it’s Enter Beckham, Exit Freddy Adu. The young soccer phenom, who signed with MLS in 2003, has decided to play for the Portuguese club Benfica. “‘Freddy, when we signed him, was one of most talented young players in the world. I think, today, he still is one of most young talented players in the world,’ [Deputy MLS Commissioner] Gazidis said. ‘What we’ve struggled with is the expectations, not that we’ve placed on him, but that the media has placed on him.‘”

Spend it like Beckham.

“‘The main thing for me is to improve the soccer, to improve the standard, and to be part of history really because I think soccer can be a lot bigger in the U.S.,’ the 31-year-old former England captain said Friday morning on ABC’s ‘Good Morning America.’” I think so too, but is overpaying Becks really the answer? Soccer superstar David Beckham signs with the Los Angeles Galaxy for a cool $250 million.

Arena’s Empty.

In soccer news, after an eight-year stint, Bruce Arena is out as coach of the national team. “Speculation will center on Jurgen Klinsmann, who coached the German national team to a third-place finish in this month’s World Cup. Klinsmann, who lives in California with his family, stepped down from the German post earlier this week, saying he felt, ‘burnt out.’” And, hey, Larry Brown is looking for work…

Viva Italia!

A belated congrats to Italy on winning the 2006 World Cup. I was rooting for France, and a PK shootout is a truly terrible way to choose the Cup champion, but — after headbuttgate and the Baggio mishap in 1994 — Italy seemed karmically due. At any rate, see y’all in 2010. And, now, alas, we’ve hit the sports dead zone until September…perhaps it’s time to give MLS another go, what with Red Bull United now on the pitch… Update: Zidane speaks.

The Win Done Ghana.

Well, that’s that, then. Ghana knocks the US out of the Cup with a 2-1 victory that may have hinged partly on a questionable PK. (Being in research mode, I didn’t see the game — Still, it seems like a lot of the games this Cup have swung on bad calls, and we needed a win, not a tie, regardless.) Oh well, there’s always 2010, I guess. At any rate, congrats to Ghana on getting through, and here’s hoping the Togo Sparrow Hawks can play spoiler to France tomorrow…

Czech yourself, soccer fans.

Ugh. And I thought Miami’s performance last night was bad: America’s hopes for this Cup pretty much wither away entirely after an egregious 3-0 loss to the Czech Republic this morning. The US now must beat — or maybe tie — Italy this Saturday to have any chance of moving on to the second round…It’s not looking good.

Joga Bonito, trabalho feio.

As if the Dallas-Miami NBA Finals (ok, I was way off) weren’t sports bliss enough ’round these parts, the 2006 World Cup has begun, with host Germany defeating Costa Rica 4-2 and Ecuador besting Poland 2-0 on Day 1. Alas, since I have to maximize my research time while I’m briefly back in the 202, and since the Manuscript Reading Room of the Library of Congress aggravatingly keeps bankers’ hours (and charge $0.20 a photocopy, but that’s a whole ‘nother rant), it looks like I’ll be missing much of the first round. But I promise to make it up on the back end.