The Great Deficit Witchhunt.

“‘The frame of the debate is between those who think the witches have taken over the entire community and the whole lot of them should be burned and those who think there are only a few witches and burning just a few of them would be enough to appease the demons,’ said James Galbraith, the Lloyd M. Bentsen Jr. Chair in Government at the University of Texas. ‘There are a few of us operating safely removed from the bonfires who maintain there is no such thing as witchcraft.‘”

As more troubling details emerge about its funding and backers, and as commission member Andy Stern, late of SEIU, settles into a troubling Lanny Davis-ish “those fringe liberals are ruining everything” mode, The Huffington Post‘s Sam Stein reports in on the early doings of Obama’s deficit commission.I went over my thoughts on deficits and this commission in my SotU post a few months ago, but to repeat myself:..

On deficits: “We know exactly what happens when you cut spending too quickly after a virulent recession — It was called the 1937 Roosevelt recession, and it would be flagrantly idiotic to repeat it. Just because the GOP doesn’t seem to understand basic Keynesian economics doesn’t mean we should follow them down the rabbit hole of flat-earth thinking, just so we can look bipartisan…[Besides, p]eople were not looking to President Obama for this sort of deficit tsk-tsking and small-bore, fiddling around the margins.“

On this commission: “It’s clear to everyone involved that the entire point of this commission is CYA: i.e, to create political cover for raids on entitlement spending, while once again ignoring the grotesquely swollen defense budget…In other words, this commission will basically just be a chance for deficit peacocks to pretend they’re Serious People and ‘make tough decisions,’ while in fact the one really tough idea that actually needs to be tackled — reining in defense spending — will be completely avoided.“

What I said then still stands. At best, this commission always sounded to me like centrist kabuki theater for deficit peacocks, and, given what we’re learning about some of its backers, it could end up being much, much worse.

The Tyranny of the Bullet (Point).

“‘When we understand that slide, we’ll have won the war,’ General McChrystal dryly remarked.” By way of a friend in the office, our military at the highest levels has apparently been infiltrated and subdued by Powerpoint groupthink. “‘PowerPoint makes us stupid,’ Gen. James N. Mattis of the Marine Corps, the Joint Forces commander, said this month at a military conference in North Carolina…’It’s dangerous because it can create the illusion of understanding and the illusion of control,’ General [H.R.] McMaster said in a telephone interview afterward. ‘Some problems in the world are not bullet-izable.‘”

The first thing that came to mind when I saw that ungainly graph above: The Daughters of the American Revolution’s “spider chart” in the 1920’s, which aimed to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the women’s peace and disarmament groups of the time were in fact the fifth column of international socialism. What goes around, comes around, I guess.

Got No Secrets to Conceal.

Let’s get right down to brass tacks: Sylvain White’s The Losers is not very good. Both the second edgy comic adaptation (after Kick-Ass) and the second elite-ops-on-a-suicide-mission movie (after Clash of the Titans) in a summer full of them (The A-Team, The Expendables, arguably Salt), The Losers feels shoddily written, by-the-numbers, and altogether pedestrian. (In fact, notorious hackmeister Akiva Goldsman has a producer cred here – that’s a pretty good tip-off for what you’re in for.)

And yet, even though The Losers is one of those movies where you sit around dutifully ticking off the one-liners, action beats, and omg-‘splosions from the trailer as they happen, just so you can figure out when you get to go home, I’ll say this: The movie’s got charisma to spare. I mean, The Comedian, Stringer Bell, Johnny Storm, Uhura (or, if you liked Avatar more than I did, Neytiri)…all in a B-movie, rock-’em-sock-’em action flick? That should work, right? And that’s not even counting appealing presences like Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada, and Holt McCallany along for the ride.

And so there’s a strange, vaguely entertaining tension playing out at the heart of The Losers, almost despite itself. Are the amiable actors on display here enough to compensate for a film that is so lazy and perfunctory in pretty much every other aspect of its production? And, the answer is…no, not really. With one notable exception, all the players here eventually check out and succumb to the lethargy of the proceedings. (Losers, indeed.) Still, unlike Clash or Alice in Wonderland, Losers is never an irritatingly, in-your-face terrible experience. It’s just a ho-hum 100-minutes of blah that I’m sure will end up feeling perfectly harmless when TNT runs it into the ground a few years hence.

Anyway…The Losers, you say? Based on a Vertigo comic by Andy Diggle and Jock (I haven’t read it. The only DC Losers I’m familiar with are the WWII tank outfit that died in the Crisis), The Losers are basically your standard-issue coterie of black-ops, get-any-job-done paramilitary badasses, as per most every other film in this genre. Oh, and, as you might expect, they’ve been betrayed and left for dead by their handler, the mysterious and very well-connected Max (Jason Patric, way over the top but it’s not really his fault. Whatcha gonna do when the part is, for all intent and purposes, Dr. Evil?)

So, yes, this is basically the exact same story as The A-Team, or, for that matter Machete (once of Grindhouse, now, somewhat depressingly, its own full-length flick, coming to a theater near you this fall.) Only this time, somebody’s “f**ked with the wrong Mexican” — that would be laconic, eagle-eyed sharpshooter Cougar (Jaenada) — and his four friends: Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), the hard-livin’ leader with woman troubles; Roque (Idris Elba), the grouchy #2 and knife specialist; Jensen (Chris Evans), the motor-mouthed hacker and comic relief; and Pooch (Short), the pilot and family man.

The X-Factor in this all-too-predictable tale is the lovely Aisha (Zoe Saldana), an alluring assassin who recruits the Losers in Bolivia, as they lick their wounds post-double-cross, and who makes the team a Godfather offer: She’ll get them back in the US if the Losers promise to take out Max for good. That sounds like a win-win for everybody…but what is Aisha’s game, exactly? Well, do you really want me to tell you? There aren’t too many surprises to be had here, so best keep that one quiet for now. (I will give away this: poor Saldana doesn’t get much to do but look great, drop some exposition now and again, and occasionally blow stuff up.)

Then again, she’s not alone in that regard. Anyone who’s ever watched The Wire knows that Elba is a charisma-bomb on most occasions. As Stringer Bell, he always commanded one’s full attention. But, here, he just seems bored and in a funk. Same goes for Morgan, who made a decent impression as the Comedian in Watchmen but, again, doesn’t have either the wherewithal or the ambition to spin gold from lead here. Somehow, someway (and just like Clash of the Titan‘s “power of Medusa”), this movie just seems to suck the life right out of people — It’s as if everyone realized at some point they were in a second-rate action movie and recalibrated their behavior accordingly.

The one notable exception I mentioned earlier, tho’, is the future Captain America, Chris Evans. Perhaps, thanks to his quality turn as the Human Torch in the otherwise atrocious Fantastic Four films, Evans has already had some practice in how to be the best thing in a bad movie. (He’s also quite good in the promising but maddeningly uneven Sunshine.) Or perhaps it’s just because his character, Jensen, is given the meatiest stuff to work with. Nonetheless, Evans sells it — The Losers is a zippier, vervier film whenever he’s onscreen. Which I guess makes him the winner of The Losers [rimshot]…Mama didn’t raise no fool.

Like a Bad Penny.

“Decision Point: Is it a good idea for me to land on an aircraft carrier in a flight suit with a sign that says ‘Mission Accomplished‘? Key Decision: How is it not a good idea?” On the announcement that former President Bush’s forthcoming memoirs will be called, um, Decision Points, the wags at the Gawker crime lab have some fun with Photoshop. (Speaking of decision points, I will concede that it’s very smart of the GOP powers-that-be to wait until the week after Election Day to remind America of the Dubya years.)

Bank to Basics.

“The big U.S. banks were the source of the global financial crisis, in part because their bigness and their practices were copied by major banks around the world. What happens in this reform effort is being watched avidly in many countries, because it will say much about how global finance is to be conducted. What is often missing in these discussions are the assumptions people make about banking and its role in a modern economy. We should begin therefore with some first principles.“

As the manifestly fradulent behavior by Goldman Sachs of late comes to full light — one among many, it seems — Numerian of The Agonist goes back to basics to make a case for strong banking reform. “The very first lesson we should learn from this crisis, which we thought this nation learned in the 1930s, is never again…The second lesson we should learn from this crisis is that we should not as a nation have to learn these lessons over and over again every 80 years. Something has to be done to make the legislative changes this time stick.”

Luce Canon (and FORTUNE’s fool).

“From the mid-1930s through the late ’50s, Time Inc. was probably the largest news organization in the world, with bureaus on every continent…The company’s success was partly a result of shrewd management. But it was also a result of Luce, who had looked into the future and seen an increasingly integrated nation bound together by railroads, highways, radio, movies and the rise of a national corporate culture. As a result, Americans would need a vast amount of information and an efficient way of accessing it. Luce embraced that future and created vehicles that served the needs of his rapidly changing times.”

On the release of his long-awaited The Publisher, an extensive biography of TIME/LIFE founder Henry Luce, Columbia historian (and my dissertation advisor) Alan Brinkley discusses how Luce may have coped with the Digital Age. “Luce — for all his flaws — was an innovator, a visionary and a man of vast and daunting self-confidence. Were he to live in our time, trying once again to revolutionize the spread of knowledge, he might find his talents much in demand.“

And, in very related news, Boing Boing posts Chris Ware’s recently rejected throwback cover for Fortune‘s annual 500 issue. “It hearkens back to the golden age of Fortune as an exemplar of beautifully designed and illustrated magazines…’and he filled the image with tons of satirical imagery, like the U.S. Treasury being raided by Wall Street, China dumping money into the ocean, homes being flooded, homes being foreclosed, and CEOs dancing a jig while society devolves into chaos. The cover, needless to say, was rejected.’”

Undaunted Audacity.

“Nonfiction writers who succumb to the temptations of phantom scholarship are a burgeoning breed these days, although most stop short of fabricating interviews with Presidents. But Stephen Ambrose, who, at the time of his death, in 2002, was America’s most famous and popular historian, appears to have done just that.“

In less-sanguine history news, and by way of Past Punditry, a new blog by an old Columbia colleague of mine, it appears that the late Stephen Ambrose — already unmasked as a serial plagiarist — also conjured several purported interviews with President Eisenhower out of thin air. “Access to Eisenhower in his retirement years was tightly controlled…These records show that Eisenhower saw Ambrose only three times, for a total of less than five hours. The two men were never alone together.” Hmm…I could’ve saved a lot of time in gradual school if I could just make it up. (Sadly, there’s been a rash of fake presidential quotes going around lately.)

Twenty Years of Hubble.

“Nature and Nature’s laws lay hid in night: God said, Let Newton be! and all was light.” Let’s not forget Hubble too: As of today, Humankind’s first great orbital telescope turns 20. And to think we’re only at the beginning… [Greatest hits | A brief history of orbiting observatories | what’s next.]

The Guru, the Visionary, and the Matriarch.

“Leaving school to pursue a rap career flummoxed his family, said Guru’s brother, Harry Jr. ‘I was on my way to becoming a professor, and my brother is dropping out of grad school, and I’m saying, ‘What are you doing?’ But he believed in it and followed it through.” Activist and hip-hop pioneer Guru of Gangstarr, 1962-2010. (Now who’s gonna take the weight?)

“The opening of ‘Dog Day’ is about what Sonny lost, and the rest of the film is about how he lost it. This sequence is about the necessity of recognizing and appreciating the beauty of life itself. A better tribute to Dede Allen’s artistry is hard to imagine.” Groundbreaking film editor Dede Allen, 1923-2010.

“‘If the times aren’t ripe, you have to ripen the times,’ she liked to say. It was important, she said, to dress well. ‘I came up at a time when young women wore hats, and they wore gloves. Too many people in my generation fought for the right for us to be dressed up and not put down.'” Matriarch of the civil rights movement Dorothy Height, 1912-2010.

Things I Learned in the BVI.

As two eagle-eyed sidebar surfers seem to have already discovered, I finally put up a smattering of pics from my recent sailing excursion in the British Virgin Islands. (That’s me above, jumping off the bow of our chartered boat, Searider, just off the coast of Jost Van Dyke.) In lieu of a day-by-day overview of our adventures, I’ll just make a few observations which may or may not be of interest to those heading out yonder way.

1. The actual sailing was good fun, but also a bit more rigorous at times than I anticipated. And if you don’t have someone on board who knows what they’re doing, there could be trouble. As the saying goes, “anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm,” and that was basically true for the first half of our trip. But there were definitely a few days on the back end when the winds and the swells kicked up, and I was very glad we had two seasoned sailors (as well as a Coastie) on board to commandeer the ship. I mean, I can turn a winch or pull a rope as well as the next guy, but the actual boat handling during highly variable and/or gusty winds never really felt intuitive to me. Let’s just say, when it comes to captaining nautical vessels, I think I still prefer my boats oar-powered.

2. Admittedly, extended time on Kauai will turn you into a snorkel snob. Still, while we didn’t see much in the way of spectacular, blow-your-mind reefs, we had really great luck with the local fauna. Turtles abounded, including one barnacle-covered fellow who’d probably seen a few decades. Several rays were spotted at various times, as well as a dolphin (seen from the ship), a barracuda (he camped out under the boat for an afternoon), and, for those who dove, even some members of the shark persuasion. Above ground, a few of the islands were home to feral goats, and every bay we anchored in had more than a few pelicans feasting well. (And if you stop at Little Harbour, bring extra lunchmeats for the hungry dock-daschund.)

3. While clearly less populated than their US counterparts — you can tell that just from their respective nighttime glows — the British Virgin Islands are not particularly British. Although, that being said, they do have roundabouts in Roadtown, as well as the occasional English candy options here and there — Sadly, no Bassetts’ Wine Gums, tho’. (This may not seem important, but it is. Since my English kindergarten days, I’ve been a bit of a wine gum fiend.)

4. Speaking of midnight glow, I always tend to forget, after spending the last 17 years in the East Coast megalopolis of BosWash, how breathtaking the nighttime sky still is in the dark places of the world. One of my personal highlights of the whole experience. (In related news, I really need to brush up on my constellations.)

5. If you want to get the authentic Caribbean pirate experience in the BVI, then head to Norman Island and stop at Pirates’ Bight. Because, trust me, you will end up feeling totally robbed. In general, a lot of the hyped places in the guides were overpriced, underserviced tourist traps — Saba Rock near Virgin Gorda was another — which eventually prompted a lot of jokes among the crew about the “Comcast Virgin Islands.” But the Bight was far and away the worst — come for the sticker shock, stay for the microwave wings and world’s most ornery parrot. (That poor, miserable bastid was a living, breathing, screeching PETA commercial.)

6. Now, that being said, one island haunt that *did* live up to the hype was the much-touted Foxy’s in Great Harbour, Jost van Dyke. After getting burned a few times in the early going (see above), we went to this night spot with rather low expectations. But Foxy’s actually delivered on the local flavor, Caribbean rhythms, and Cocktail-ish beach bar ambience it promised. (The co-ed, drunken gaggle of 40 or so French sailors having their Spring Regatta farewell party may have helped. Good lookin’ people, the French.)

7. If #5 didn’t make the point above, I strongly advise trying to find mooring or anchoring spots off the beaten path. In fact, one of our generally-agreed-upon favorite stops on the trip was just around the corner from the aforementioned Bight. I’d tell you exactly, but then I’d be making the mistake in The Beach. (Granted, some folks may be wired differently than me on this front. One of the more bustling places we stopped at to resupply was The Bitter End, a luxury resort on Virgin Gorda. Well, ok, but I don’t know why you venture all the way out to BVI just to approximate the experience of Hilton Head. But don’t mind me — I’ve been getting more Mosquito Coast-y in recent years.)

8. If you’re enjoying a nighttime campfire on a small island covered with dry wood, brush and other highly flammable material, and the notion strikes you to go all Survivor or Lord of the Flies and make yourself a torch, do NOT use one of your cheap athletic socks in said torch’s construction. Because, for whatever reason, athletic socks apparently explode more than they burn, and watching dozens of tiny embers of flaming nylon or polyester or whatever float away and scatter all over a very arid paradise in the middle of the night is not a happy moment. Just sayin’.

9. Similarly, if you’re a right-wing billionaire who, when not giving millions to the Republican Party or funding Creationist “research”, up and decide to buy yourself a private island, and on that private island, overlooking the, uh, White Bay, you call your exclusive private resort the, um, “Eagle’s Nest“…well, let’s just say the optics aren’t too good. (Nice beach, tho’.)

10. As Herman Melville once wrote, “At sea a fellow comes out. Salt water is like wine, in that respect.” And fellowship was in no short supply aboard the Searider. I think it’s safe to say we all had a great time — yes, even at the Bight — and made some memories to last a lifetime. So if you do head out for your own sailing adventure, bring sunscreen, somebody with sailing experience, some extra turkey for the dock-daschund, and, most importantly some interesting folks and old, good friends along with you. You won’t regret it.