Sympathy for the Devils.

The mystery of the grassy knoll has finally been solved, and the second shooter was…John Wilkes Booth?! For the first time in an age, I took advantage of the New York theater scene last night and caught the much-heralded revival of Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins at the Roundabout Theatre, which chronicles the inner demons of Mssrs. Booth, Oswald, Hinckley, and assorted other murderers and would-be-murderers of presidents. All in all, I’d say I enjoyed it, although it took a musical number or two for me to warm to the material (some never made the leap — the guy next to me left outraged.) And there’s some memorable performances here, particularly Denis O’Hare as Charles Guiteau (Garfield’s assassin) and Michael Cerveris as Booth.

Still, the basic (and ahistorical) message of the play — that all assassins, whatever their surface motives, are just looking for a little happiness, a little love, and a little fame — was encapsulated much more succinctly by Peter Gabriel’s excellent “Family Snapshot” two decades ago. And, while I like that song and admire what this play was trying to be, this “everybody needs a hug” thesis is too reductively simplistic. Notwithstanding freak shows like Hinckley, assassination is by its very definition a political act, as is distressingly obvious to all of us given recent events in the Middle East. Sure, a lot of assassins are flat-out crazies…Hinckley, Mark David Chapman, Sirhan Sirhan. But others — Booth, Guiteau, Leon “McKinley” Czolgosz, James Earl Ray, Brutus — had a political agenda in mind that can’t be explained solely by “bad reviews” or a lack of affection as a child (which is perhaps why the Sondheim play ignores the Stalwart v. Halfbreed internecine strife propelling Guiteau to his foul deed.)

Still, if you can stomach the subject matter, Assassins is a moderately engaging fever dream rumination on American loneliness and presidential murder, replete with a sinister carnival barker and Moebius strip leaps in and out of historic continuity. Perhaps the most resonant effect in the play is that of the other assassins — eerie, floating, voiceless heads underlit to resemble Capt. Howdy in The Exorcist — watching their colleagues from the mists of History, or from the grave. Misery loves company, and from Cassius on, assassins just adore a conspiracy.

Feeling a Draft.

Antawn Jamison to DC (for Stackhouse, Laettner, and No. 5) is a done deal…is T-Mac to Houston next? Or will the Diesel do Dallas? Last year’s NBA Draft Day was a bit of a dud as far as big trades go, but I have high hopes for tonight’s festivities, even if the Knicks don’t have a first-rounder and will probably stand pat.

Poker-faced Liars.

Editors: Can you show us your cards? Cheney: Sure. One of them’s a six.” By way of Value Judgment, experience the tribulations of poker with Dick Cheney. “Cheney: We will show you our cards after we have collected the pot. It is important that things be done in this order, otherwise the foundation of our entire poker game will be destroyed.Update: In semi-related news, the Supreme Court bails out Cheney 7-2 on the energy task force documents, although they also decided to punt the case back to a lower court. Hmmm.

Prince of Gotham, King of the World.

In the movie bin, some some news of a Batman Begins teaser (and a first look at Liam Neeson), and James Cameron speaks about his top-secret 3D Sci-Fi project, now starring Brian Cox. If Cameron is really serious about resurrecting 80’s action film stars, one of his favorites, Michael Biehn, is probably waiting by the phone…

Unconstitutional…and Unimportant.

The NYT reports that the prisoners of the Gitmo Gulag are at best small potatoes — most having nothing to do with Al Qaeda at all — and that the Pentagon and Dubya administration have continually overstated the detainees’ level of knowledge about Al Qaeda in order to justify the continued existence of the Guantanamo camp. “‘It’s like going to a prison in upstate to find out what’s happening on the streets of New York,’ a counterterrorism official with knowledge of Guantanamo intelligence said. ‘The guys in there might know some stuff. But they haven’t been part of what’s going on for a few years.’” When it comes to the War on Terror, is there anything the Bush administration doesn’t lie about anymore?

Things Fall Apart.

“It looks like Buss, the Lakers’ owner, has made his choice: Kobe stays; the others can go. In other words, he is not averse to trading Shaq and is willing to build his franchise around a narcissist who’s on trial for rape, doesn’t make his teammates better and is in denial over all of it.” Well, it looks like my concerns about Kobe joining the Knicks were unfounded. At the behest of Bryant, Lakers owner Jerry Buss sends Phil Jackson off, with Shaq soon to follow. I never really bought into the Zen Master hype, but Phil Jackson is assuredly a better coach than Rudy T. And letting Shaq walk to appease Kobe? That’s just ludicrous…The big guy may be on the downslope of his career, but he’s still in a league of his own.

Bouncetime for Bonzo.

Dubya jumps in the polls after Reagan’s photo-op funeral, and decides to celebrate by lying about Iraq and 9/11 all over again. C’mon, y’all Republican moralists out there…Where’s the outrage? Clinton was impeached for far less, and we already know the Baptists won’t put up much of a fuss.